Troth
by formerlyknownas-0acadiaelle0
Summary: TROTH WON the GOLD award for BEST BELLA/CARLISLE in round three of the NON-CANON AWARDS! - Previously published under username 0acadiaelle0. This is a repost and continuation of my fan fiction story, Troth. The notes in first chapter will explain more. - Summary: / AU / After enduring Edward's oppressive fixation with her, Bella finds true love with his father Carlisle.
1. Encourgement

I am very pleased and proud that

 **Troth**

won the

 **Gold Award**

for

 **Best Bella/Carlisle**

in round three of the

 **Non-Canon Awards**

 **Thank you!**

* * *

AN: I said I wouldn't abandon _Troth_. I keep my promises. After an extremely long time, _Troth_ is back; and so am I. This is a repost and continuation of my fan fiction story, _Troth_.

I couldn't find the time to update this story when my fiancé and I moved in together. As our first wedding anniversary was yesterday, I think it's time to end my hiatus.

During my time away from _Troth_ , I forgot the email to get into my former account 0acadiaelle0. It seems that this site has no provision for a lost email address, only a lost password. Despite numerous attempts to contact someone over the past few weeks, I have received no reply. Therefore, I am reposting and doing a new edit of the existing chapters of _Troth_.

I hope to post old chapters that have been newly edited on at least a bi weekly basis. There may be some minor changes to the existing chapters. The later chapters may even see some plot changes. Then, I will continue _Troth_ to completion. New chapters will be posted as the original 27 chapters were, as soon as they are completed.

* * *

Now, for the usual disclaimers and acknowledgements...

 _The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment and anyone else who may legally claim ownership. No copyright infringement is intended._

 _I do not write Edward/Bella fan fiction. Stephenie Meyer told their story._

 _This story is about a romantic relationship between Dr. Carlisle Cullen and Isabella Swan._

 _In this story Isabella Swan is over the age of 18 before she becomes romantically involved with Carlisle Cullen._

Canon will, of course, be expanded upon making this story is AU.

This story is categorized as Romance and Hurt Comfort, as those are the main themes.

The characters do face more than their share of drama and some disturbing themes are mentioned later on in the story. However, I think it is safe to say that the overall story could not be considered dark in any way. When any disturbing themes are to be mentioned in a chapter, I will include a warning, in bold, at the top of the page. These warnings will allow you to skip any potentially disturbing themes.

 _This story is rated "M" in accordance with this site's guidelines._

 _Please keep in mind that this story is intended for readers that are 18 years of age or older._

 _Thank you._

 **I would like to thank StoryPainter for her brilliant beta-reading, up to and including chapter twenty-seven.**

 **Her work is invaluable.**

 _Any remaining mistakes are entirely my own._

* * *

 **Troth**

 **Chapter 1: Encouragement**

Jasper followed Bella outside and silently observed her. Her face was upturned as she watched the large March snowflakes falling lazily in the moonlight. He knew he had to act. Alice had seen two distinct visions of Bella's future. His wife could see future, but she had no sense of the true feelings of those involved. He did. He knew. He couldn't let Bella stay on the path she was on without letting her know there was another; too many people would be hurt by it. Alice disagreed. Alice was in denial.

He'd never been so thankful to be able to block Edward's gift. He smiled in memory of the days Carlisle had spent teaching them how to let Edward only read the thoughts intended for him. Jasper had struggled to master the skill, and in the end it was simple, because Edward didn't pry past the surface. He wanted to give his family privacy. Even if Edward did pry the techniques Carlisle had taught him were second nature to him now. Edward would not see anything in his thoughts that he wasn't meant to see. Jasper would have sighed in relief, had he been alive. Instead, he closed his eyes in a brief moment of gratitude that Edward didn't know what he was about to do. He knew that if Edward had any inkling of his intent he would be beyond reason, he would attack him in his rage.

He stepped from the shadows and spoke softly. "Bella."

She turned in surprise, but showed no fear of him. "Jasper, you startled me."

He shook his head ruefully. He didn't have perfect control. She should be more cautious of him. "I'm sorry, I surely didn't mean to scare you."

She smiled fully at him. "That's okay, Jasper, I'm not afraid of you."

He returned her smile. "You should be."

"Alice has seen that you won't hurt me."

"Ah, but my darlin' pixie didn't know that I would be coming out here. I didn't make the decision until I followed you."

"You followed me?" Bella asked in confusion.

"I did. I need to talk to you, Bella. Could we walk?" Jasper motioned for Bella to precede him away from the house.

"What's up, Jasper?"

He just motioned for her to keep walking. As they neared the garage door Jasper spoke almost inaudibly. "I would like to go for a drive. I want to be sure that our conversation is private. I just hunted this afternoon, you'll be safe."

"Oh," Bella responded, perplexed. "Okay."

Once they were in the garage, Jasper held the passenger door of Emmett's Jeep open for Bella. "Hurry," he said, I want to leave before anyone decides to follow us.

Bella slid into the car and began to buckle her seat belt. The engine roared to life and they were a mile away before she snapped the belt on. Bella opened her mouth to ask where they were going, but Jasper beat her to it.

"I apologize for all the secrecy. I need to talk to you," he reiterated. "And I want to make sure no one hears us." They drove in silence for several minutes. Jasper made many unpredictable turns and sudden changes in direction. He hoped to confuse Alice's visions, at least for a little while. Finally, Jasper put down the throttle.

Bella spoke as they pulled into a coffee shop in Kingston, "Wow. That was faster than Alice."

"Yes," Jasper replied. "It was. No one's followed us, yet. You need to call Edward and let him know you'll be back in a couple of hours. We don't want a manhunt, do we?"

"What do I tell him? I don't even know what we're doing here."

"Tell him a friend drove you for a cup of coffee. After all, it's the truth. Tell him you want to chat for a bit."

Bella hit speed dial. "Bella, where are you?" Edward asked sharply, neglecting to offer a greeting.

"Edward, I-"

Edward interrupted her. "Tell me where you are, I'll come and get you." Edward snapped.

"Edward, no. I'm just having coffee with a friend, I wanted to let you know so you wouldn't wonder where-"

"You didn't say you were going anywhere," Edward cut across Bella again.

"I didn't plan it. It just sort of came up."

Jasper could hear the conversation and he sent Bella a wave of calm and assurance.

"Edward, I'm having coffee with a friend. It'll be a couple of hours, we have some catching up to do. I'll see you later."

"I'll join you, Bella, tell me where you are and I'll-"

Still bathed in the confidence Jasper sent her, Bella interrupted Edward. "Don't be silly, you'd be bored. I'll see you in a bit. Bye." Bella closed the phone. She could hear Edward demanding to know who she was with as she ended the call.

Jasper reached over and took the phone from Bella's hand, powering it down in one swift motion.

Jasper gave Bella one of his most charming southern smiles. "Why don't we go in and get that coffee?" he suggested, his smile reaching both his eyes and voice.

Before Bella could unclasp her seatbelt, Jasper was opening the car door for her. They didn't speak as he held the door of the shop and guided her to a low table in the far corner. Bella settled, cross-legged, on a large pouf as Jasper sat on the short chair opposite.

"Jasper, what's going on?" Bella asked tightly. The calm Jasper had sent for her call to Edward had receded entirely. Jasper's answer was prevented by the arrival of their server. Bella ordered a cafe au lait, and Jasper asked for coffee, strong and black, and added a sandwich for Bella.

When the server left, Jasper smiled winningly at Bella. "You'll need the food, Bella. This is going to take a while." Jasper caught the tension that his statement had begun to build in Bella and he quickly added, "Don't worry, Bella. It's nothing bad. I just tend to talk slowly."

"So what is it, Jasper?"

"You know I can't help but know how you're feeling Bella. It's not something I can turn off. I'd like you to talk to me about your feelings."

"What feelings?" Bella asked, confused.

"You know that I know everyone's feelings, I can't help it. At this point, I can't continue to stand by and say nothing, even to please Alice."

"I don't understand, Jasper. What are you saying?"

"All I'm saying is that I know how you feel about Edward, and I know how Edward feels about you. Sometimes I know people's feelings before they've admitted them to themselves. I'm suggesting that maybe y'all should slow down a bit."

"Are you saying Edward doesn't love me?" Bella asked. She looked stricken.

"I wouldn't say Edward doesn't love you. I won't say more about his love for you, that's for him to say." Jasper was interrupted by the arrival of their drinks and Bella's food.

The time it took before their server left gave Bella the chance to think things through. She realized that Jasper usually cut straight to the point. She knew he must have something big to tell her, and he was having trouble with it. That could only mean Alice had seen something. "What has Alice seen?"

Jasper smiled at Bella's insight. "Alice has had visions, but this isn't about them. I can't speak for her. I'm only talking about what I've felt from you." Bella opened her mouth but Jasper was too quick for her. "Before you ask again, I can't speak for anyone else. I will say that I am not here to tell you that Edward doesn't love you." Jasper felt Bella become relaxed but her confusion was evident. "But, let me ask you this, have you ever had any kind of pet that you loved?"

Bella was completely puzzled by the apparent turn in the conversation. "Yes, when I was little I had a cat, my mother is allergic to dogs, why?"

Jasper just smiled. "Did you love your cat?"

"Very much." Bella smiled.

"You knew what was best for your cat, so you made the decisions for it."

"Her." Bella corrected Jasper, as her confusion deepened.

"Her," Jasper said with an apologetic smile. "So, you loved your cat and you knew what was safe for her because she couldn't know. Now that's real good, because your cat couldn't think of everything for herself. She certainly never heard of rabies, or the vaccine for it. So, without you making her decisions, she couldn't go to the vet for her vaccine. She couldn't have taken care of herself. She was a pet, that was the right thing to do. Did you miss her when you were away from her?"

"I did. I remember worrying about her when she would disappear for longer than usual. It was impossible to think of my days without her being there. She was always there, quietly comforting me or bringing a toy so I'd play with her. It would distract me from my worries. She would always make me smile no matter how badly my day had gone. How could I imagine living without her?"

"And yet, here you are, living without your pet, even though you never thought you could."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm not being very clear, am I? Let me ask you something else, instead."

"Okay."

"The way you feel about Edward, he's your first love, your boyfriend. But, and be honest now, do you have feelings for anyone else?" Jasper asked knowingly.

"What? No!" Bella knocked her drink over in her vehemence. "Of course not!"

Jasper grabbed some napkins and had the spill cleaned before it could begin to spread. "Now, Bella, I'm asking this for a reason, and I want you to think real hard. Pardon me, but I'm sure Alice has seen us by now so I don't have much time left, I have to be blunt. The things you feel for Edward, the love, the admiration, the desire to be with him, what's your real motivation?"

Bella didn't have time to answer before Jasper continued.

"Take this spill, I know when you talk about becoming one of us you're more self confident, you get a feeling of rightness. That's about becoming one of us, it's not about loving Edward. There's no need to rush your relationship with Edward to ensure that you become one of us. Carlisle promised he would change you, and he will. No matter what, he'd never let anyone hurt you." Jasper pressed on before Bella could protest. "Even if you don't end up with Edward, that never changes. You will be part of our family. Carlisle won't allow the Volturi to kill you."

Bella's voice was filled with the need to convince. "But, Jasper, Edward and I, we're soul mates. We can't live without each other. He went to the Volturi when he thought I was dead. He couldn't live without me, and I... I was a wreck without him."

"I know Edward went to the Volturi, I know he thought he couldn't live without you."

Bella nodded.

Jasper continued. "I know you couldn't imagine your life without your pet either." Jasper paused to let that idea sink in.

Jasper's voice was emphatic as he spoke. "I've felt you around others, Bella. With Edward you're subdued. You are..." at the look on Bella's face he hastened to clarify. "Now, don't get me wrong, Edward is a good guy. But, with Edward, your spirit is oppressed. Bella, I like you. When you decide to devote your life to someone I want them to lift you up, not hold you back. I want that for you, Bella. I know Edward is pressuring you to marry him. You might even say he's coercing you, just a bit.

"Bella, when you do marry into our family I want your spirit to soar as you walk down the aisle. I don't want to see you walk timidly towards your future. Look, I already consider you a sister. I don't want you to rush into something with Edward that you might come to regret. All I'm askin' is that you take it down a notch with him. Take time to think through your feelings for him, and his for you. Keep your mind open. I'd like for you to really think on it. I'd like it if you'd ask yourself a question or two. Ask yourself, where am I the happiest; who is it that's with me when I'm the happiest? And if I could be with that person forever, would I? Then, when you get your answer ask yourself what you would give to make that a permanent thing."

"You know it's Edward, right?" she asked Jasper. "I can answer both your questions, Jasper. I'm happiest when I'm in the meadow with Edward," she told him firmly.

"That may well be." Jasper gave her a knowing smile as the headlights of Rosalie's car flashed when it careened into the parking lot. "Our time's just about up for now, and Alice is gonna have my head. I just want you to think on what I've said. Will you do that for me? Think about your feelings for everyone in your life, and how you feel when you are with each one, especially if their last name is Cullen?"

"Yeah, Jasper, I'll think about it."

"And, Bella honey, I'm always here for you, if you want to talk anything over. We'll find a way." Jasper gave Bella's hand a reassuring squeeze as he stood.

"Jasper, what have you done?" Alice was beside their table looking absolutely livid.

"Come on, Alice darlin', drive me home." He tossed Bella the keys to the Jeep. "Bella has some thinking to do, and I know I've got some explainin' to do." He smiled sheepishly at his wife and kissed her cheek.

Alice huffed and peered around Jasper. "Bella-"

"Come on now, Darlin', you can talk to Bella at the house later." He steered Alice out the door to Rosalie's car.

Bella shook her head and began to fish out money to pay the bill when she noticed Jasper had left two twenty dollar bills and a folded note with her name on it. "Cryptic speedy vampires," she muttered to herself.

Bella slid into the driver's seat of Emmett's Jeep and opened the note Jasper had left for her.

The note was just a phone number. Bella knew it had to be Jasper's private cell. She had no idea what had gotten into him. The whole evening had been beyond bizarre.

The next day it continued. At the Cullen house Jasper sat with Bella, reminding her of his request with his presence. She wondered at the displeasure it seemed to cause in both Alice and Edward.

The day after that Bella found Jasper leaning casually against her front doorframe as she got out of her truck after work.

"Jasper, what's up?" Bella asked lightly, although she was sure he could sense that her feelings were anything but light.

"Well now, Bella, I've been thinking a lot about you since I almost killed you. I'm completely fine with your blood now. You should still make sure I've hunted before I spend time with you. Always check my eyes, make sure they're real light, just to be safe. But if I have hunted recently, you could cut yourself deeply, and I wouldn't attack you."

"That's good to know." Bella smiled.

"It is," Jasper agreed, relief evident in his voice. "But, I was also thinkin', you're Alice's best friend, and basically an accepted member of our coven, so I think you and I should become better acquainted."

"And, I'm Edward's girlfriend." Bella pointed out.

"Well yes, you are now."

Bella wasn't sure if the "now" was part of Jasper's Southern vernacular, or if he meant something else. She decided to ignore it. "You want to hang out?" Bella asked.

"I sure do." Jasper smiled. It did not put her at ease.

"Okay, well, I have to make dinner for my dad. Do you want to come in?"

"Thank you kindly," Jasper responded teasingly.

Jasper followed Bella into the kitchen and sat at the table as she pulled out the ingredients to make lasagna. Jasper regaled Bella with tales of Alice's latest internet shopping spree while Bella began making the sauce. When the sauce was simmering and she was putting the noodles to boil, Jasper asked her if she'd like to play a game.

"What kind of game?" she asked.

"It's like somethin' my mamma and I played when I was a human boy. The memory is faint, but it's still here." Jasper tapped his head. "I would ask my mamma a question, like what's your favorite food, and I'd draw it. I'd ask her another question, like what's your favorite animal, and I'd add it to the picture. When I was done asking questions, we'd see what kind of picture all her answers made. Of course paper was precious in those days, so I drew with a stick in the dirt, but I think using paper now would work."

"That sounds like fun," Bella said. She was surprised by the truth in her answer.

Jasper pulled a pad of paper and a pencil from his shoulder pack and set them out. He looked at Bella thoughtfully and tapped his chin. "What to ask..."

"I could always ask the questions," Bella offered hopefully.

"You couldn't draw and make dinner for your father," Jasper pointed out reasonably. "You're turn to ask questions will have to be second. Let me see." He deliberated for another moment. "What do you like to do to relax."

"What do you mean?"

"If you've had a difficult day, what do you do to feel better?" Jasper elaborated.

"Oh, that's easy, I read," Bella answered brightly.

"So I'll draw some books." For a few seconds the only sound was that of Jasper's pencil on paper. "What's one of your favorite pastimes?"

"Reading." Bella laughed.

Jasper laughed with her. "So, more books, then." He continued to draw as Bella opened the cheeses for Charlie's meal.

"What colors make you feel most comforted?"

"What's with the comfort questions?"

"Nothing, really, it's just what came to mind. And the last question wasn't a comfort question, it was about your pastimes. So, what colors make you feel peaceful, happy, relaxed?" Jasper smiled lopsidedly.

"I don't really have a favorite color. I guess you could say soft colors are relaxing. Not pastels, muted colors, maybe earth tones."

"Like the green of trees and moss and such?"

"I suppose, but with something warmer too. I dunno with brown, maybe. I like gold." Bella smiled. "I like gold a lot, like the lightest honey with the sun shining through it."

"Only his eyes are that shade."

Bella hadn't heard his quiet murmur. "What?"

Jasper smiled. "What shades of earth tones?"

"Do you even have color there?" Bella asked.

Jasper held up a set of colored pencils.

Bella smiled and looked at the colors.

"What do you do for work that's enjoyable? Like Rosalie enjoys tinkering with cars. Do you like tinkering with motorcycles?" Jasper joked.

"No. Definitely not." Bella thought of the puzzle that the Cullens had been. She remembered how much fun it was to work and see everything fall in place until she had her answer: Vampire. "I like research, really. I'm happier with a computer and a question to solve than I am with axel grease."

"So, you like sitting at a desk and working?"

Bella again thought back to discovering the Cullens' secret, and hundreds of other times she'd been presented with a puzzle to solve. "Yeah," she concurred. "I guess so."

Japer's pencils continued to move. "I'm no artist, but this is fun to do," he told Bella.

"It's an unusual way to get to know someone's secrets."

"Oh, I don't want your secrets, Bella," Jasper told her seriously. "If I did, I'd just ask Alice."

"Great," Bella mumbled. "Alice should write 'tell all' books."

"Books again, not TV shows or anything. Interesting." Jasper drew some more.

"Hey, I like more than books!" Bella protested. "And, that wasn't a question."

"So, you are designing your dream room, Bella. What's it like?"

"It would have lots of windows," Bella said with a smile. "And a high beamed ceiling. I'd like pictures too. The kind you can stare at and never really look at enough. You know? When it's cold and raining out, you can just wrap yourself up in the warmth and comfort of this room. Even though you can see the rain through the windows, you are snug and cozy in there."

"Would it have books?" Jasper asked as he sketched.

Bella threw a noodle at him.

"Missed me!" He grinned. "So, Bella, did you just describe your favorite fantasy room to me, or your safe place?"

"Couldn't it be both?"

"Sure enough. What does it smell like?"

"You can't draw a smell, Jasper."

"No, but I'm curious. Humor me."

"It smells of books, wood, and leather."

"It would," Jasper teased. "What else? What other smells in the room make you feel good?"

Bella's face took on a far off, wistful look. "Vanilla and spices, maybe some hints of orange and something else... I don't know."

"The man himself," Jasper mumbled.

"What?" Bella asked, coming out of her olfactory reminiscence.

"I was thinking I should really get going," Jasper replied slyly. "I'll leave your picture in your room for you to look at when you're done cooking, if that's okay?"

"Sure," Bella replied as she layered her cheese, noodles, and sauce.

"Call me when you're free tomorrow, and you can have a turn drawing," Jasper said as he left

"Okay," Bella replied to the space where Jasper had been.

Bella finished up the lasagna for Charlie and put it in the oven. She cleaned up quickly and headed upstairs to see Jasper's drawing. She found it pinned to her wall.

As Bella approached Carlisle's study early Saturday afternoon, a thousand butterflies began dancing wildly in her stomach. She blamed Jasper and his stupid drawing. As if this were the place she felt happiest, safest, the place she most wanted to be. She thought it had to be coincidence that her answers had added up to make Jasper draw Carlisle's study. She huffed quietly. As if Carlisle was the person she most wanted to be with. Startled by her own thought, she reminded herself that Jasper had only drawn Carlisle's room, not him. She didn't know where that stray thought had come from. She felt the blood rushing to her face and silently cursed Jasper and his odd imagination. She took a calming breath and listened to the house. Edward was playing the piano. Despite his keen vampire senses, he was so lost in his music that he probably had no idea where she was right now. Esme had gone to the shops with Rosalie and Jasper was out hunting. She could clearly hear Emmett and Alice playing video games. They were laughing and egging each other on, quite boisterously.

She lifted her hand and knocked gently on the door. She expected Carlisle to tell her to come in. Instead he opened the door and held his hand out to her.

"Isabella," he said with a welcoming smile.

The sound of her full name spoken in his soft warm tones created a growing pool of heat in her abdomen, giving the butterflies something to dance over. She shook her head at herself. She'd never reacted like this before. Then again, she realized she had. She just hadn't acknowledged it to herself. She told herself that she had to stop talking to Jasper. He was definitely a bad influence on her. Now, she needed to respond to the devastatingly handsome man gazing down at her.

"Hi, Carlisle," she said a little too brightly. She hoped he hadn't noticed. She placed her right hand in his extended hand, and allowed him to draw her into his domain.

"We've been over this," Carlisle admonished her gently. "You don't need to knock. You are welcome here any time, understand?"

She shivered as she heard the heavy wood door snick closed behind them. Wordlessly, he invited her to sit. She smiled shyly at him as she settled on the comfortable sofa in front of his massive bookshelves.

"Did you enjoy Shelley?" he asked.

"Oh! It was very interesting." She looked at the book she held. It was Carlisle's copy of a book containing the poetry of Percy Bysshe Shelley, as well as his biography.

"What was your favorite?"

"I'd say I liked _Night_ the best."

"Oh really," he said, a teasing tone in voice. "You preferred _Night_ above all of his work?"

Carlisle sat beside Bella and they discussed the works of Shelley. They compared his work to that of Coleridge, Wadsworth, Blake, Byron, and Keats in turn. They were talking of the love letters between Keats and Fanny Brawne when a knock on the door interrupted them. Esme stuck her head in and spoke. "Carlisle, Bella's human, she needs to eat."

Both Carlisle and Bella were surprised to see that the afternoon shadows had lengthened to the point where twilight was fast approaching.

"I'm sorry," Carlisle said to Bella. "I've kept you too long."

"No," Bella responded quickly. "No, you didn't. I was enjoying our talk, very much. I didn't even know how much time had passed. I hope I didn't keep you from something important, though."

"Isabella," Carlisle admonished. "You, are important." He gave her a brilliant smile. "But, no, my afternoon was clear, and I can think of no way I would rather have spent it."

"Oh," Bella said. "Good." She looked over at Esme. "Do you still want me to show you how to make frijoles?" Bella was spending the weekend with Alice, as far as her father knew, and she had promised to teach Esme how to cook some human Mexican food.

"Yes," Esme answered, casting Carlisle an indulgent look. "I picked up the ingredients so that you could teach me to make them for your lunch, with chicken, I thought that would be good. But, I think that they'll have to be your dinner now."

When Bella rose, Carlisle stood as well. "Do you mind if I come back later, to choose another book to borrow?"

"It would be my pleasure if you would," Carlisle said sincerely. At Esme's chuckle, a confused look settled on his features as he continued, "My books are at your disposal any time, as you know."

Esme and Bella were in the kitchen gathering the ingredients Esme had bought earlier in the day.

"You bought so much," Bella commented.

"I thought we could make enough for you to eat today, and tomorrow I can run the rest to the homeless shelter in Port Angeles. They are used to me supplying them with unprepared foods. This will be a surprise." Esme's caring smile lit her face.

Bella looked up from her task of shredding the cheese to see Esme seeding the chiles on the counter beside the range. "Esme," she began tentatively. "Will you tell me what it was like when you got married, when you fell in love with Carlisle?"

Esme stopped what she was doing. She forgot to act human and stood still as a statue staring at Bella in confusion. After a few moments, she seemed to gather herself and she spoke. "Bella, hasn't Edward told you?"

"Told me your and Carlisle's story? No. He doesn't tell me a lot about you guys. I think he's respecting your privacy," she said. "I'm sorry if my question was too personal."

"It's not personal at all, Bella dear, don't worry. I'm just surprised that you're only aware of our cover story, and the assumptions that people make about us. I would have thought that Edward would want you to know the truth. After all, you know our biggest secret. You know that we're vampires. I don't understand why Edward wouldn't have told you the rest." She paused briefly in thought. "Well, it's definitely time you knew." Esme declared. "First, Carlisle and I never fell in love."

"What?" Bella asked, shocked. "But, you, he... you're married. You love each other. You're mates," she spluttered.

"Oh my," Esme responded with a laugh. "You really don't know. Let's sit for a minute." When they were seated Esme began. "You know that Jasper and Alice are married, but they pretend to be an unmarried couple who are our foster children?" Bella nodded. Esme continued, "And that Rosalie and Emmett are the same and they keep up the same pretense?"

"Yes," Bella replied. "I know that. Everyone thinks it's a little odd, but they accept it, no one suspects that they are married couples."

Esme smiled fondly at Bella. "Just as no one suspects that Carlisle and I have never been married and we most certainly aren't in love."

"You and Carlisle aren't married?"

"No. I have used the name Cullen since I joined the family. I had no desire to keep my husband's name, and in my time women didn't revert to their maiden names after a marriage ended. But, Carlisle and I have never been married, we've never been more than the best of friends," Esme said with a fond smile. "Although, that's not entirely true," she continued. "We are more than friends, he's like a kid brother to me, and I am a big sister to him. We had planned to pass ourselves off as a brother and sister who had taken in kids to raise together, because we had no families of our own. However, a long time ago, the school system saw both our names on 'the kids' forms and assumed we were married. We didn't want to draw more attention by correcting them, so we said nothing. We never confirmed or denied that we are a married couple. Everyone just assumes that we are. We learned to make ourselves touch each other casually, in the presence of others, to keep up appearances." Esme laughed. "In reality our touches hold nothing but sibling affection. Between Carlisle and I, there have never been any romantic feelings and there never will be. We just don't look at each other like that. I don't know why Edward, or the others, didn't tell you that a marriage between Carlisle and I is just an assumption people make."

"You know, I think Alice assumed that Edward told me. If I had known all this, some of the things Alice has said would have made lot more sense."

"I think it's safe to say we all thought Edward had told you everything."

"Edward led me to believe that you and Carlisle are a married couple. He probably didn't think that I should be let in on your secret. He must have worried that I would give you away if I knew. He's very protective." Bella's brow furrowed. Tentatively she began, "So, if you're not Carlisle's wife..." she trailed off, not knowing how to finish her question.

"What do I do?" Esme asked with a laugh.

"Well, yes."

"I'm here because I love my family. This family means everything to me. However, I'm also working on learning perfect control around humans. I want my resistance to human blood to match Carlisle's one day. When someone is hurt I want to be able to stay with them. So that I can work with human children, like he works as a doctor. That's what I want for my existence, to care for children in any way that I can. Someday, I hope to work in an orphanage. I know they foster as many kids as possible, but there are still places that are technically orphanages, and those kids need a mother. I want to be that mother. Not that I would leave our family. I would never do that. This is where I belong. When I have enough control to work with children, I will come home from work like Carlisle does. If an orphanage doesn't work out, I could always run a day care center and give the children of mothers who have to work the love, care, and nurturing that they need while their own mother is working." Esme ducked her head. "I'm very passionate about it."

"That's really great. I think that will be wonderful for you. No one could ask for anyone better to care for them," Bella said enthusiastically.

"Speaking of caring for people, even if they are adults," Esme said sternly. "We need to finish up, so you can eat."


	2. Enlightenment

_The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment and anyone else who may legally claim ownership. No copyright infringement is intended._

 **Chapter 2: Enlightenment**

The afternoon sun gleamed off the dark wood in Carlisle's study as Bella stood in front of the towering bookshelves. Her eye was caught by a book on a high shelf. She stretched and brushed the bottom of the binding with her fingertips. There was no way she could reach it. She turned to ask Carlisle for help. By the time she had begun to turn, he was there reaching above her for the book. She found herself pressed against his chest. She raised her head to see him looking at her. She was caught in his intense gaze. She had the overwhelming desire to reach up and touch his face. Her heart skipped a beat. He seemed as frozen in the moment as she was. There was something in his eyes that made it very hard for her to resist her desire to touch him. A sudden noise from outside broke their locked gaze. He lowered his hand that held _The Constant Gardener_ and she took the book from him. As Carlisle began to move away, Bella lost her balance and stumbled forward. He caught her deftly. She held tightly onto him while she regained her balance and looked intently at her hands as they clutched his forearms. "Carlisle!" Confusion was evident in her voice. "You're…" she paused as she struggled for the right word "…pliable."

Carlisle chuckled and led her to the sofa. "It must be surprising to actually feel it for yourself." He sat beside her.

She gazed earnestly into Carlisle's eyes. "How is that possible?"

"Surely Edward told you?"

Bella shook her head.

Carlisle's astonishment was clear. "He didn't tell you?"

"No, apparently he doesn't tell me much," Bella lamented.

"I'm sorry to have startled you with this. I thought you knew about me."

"You're a vampire, I know that." Bella smiled. "But Edward, he feels like stone. You don't."

Carlisle extended his hand to Bella.

She took his cold hand in hers and gently squeezed it. "You feel like flesh. You're cold, but you don't feel like ice."

"I believe you could say I'm room temperature."

"How is that possible?"

"There are two different kinds of vampires. Both date back as far as anyone can remember. My kind are the ones that most human stories are based on."

"You've touched me before and I didn't notice." Bella sat for a few moments, lost in thought. "I've made a lot of assumptions. That first time I met you at the hospital, even after you caught me when I stumbled, I assumed you were human. After I learned about vampires, I just assumed you were like Edward, that you were like stone. Even after you stitched my arm on my birthday, when you helped me down from the table, I assumed your arms were like stone. I didn't squeeze them. Every time you touched me, you were so gentle that there was no way I could have noticed a difference. Is there anything else different about your kind of vampire?" She blushed. "If it's okay to ask, I mean-"

Carlisle put the index finger of his free hand to her lips to silence her. "You know that you can ask me anything." He smiled kindly. "There are two kinds of vampires that are known to us. I am what is commonly known by the Volturi as a vampiro morbido, the others are vampiro pietra. These terms translate loosely into soft vampires and stone vampires. I am yielding to the touch, I still feel like flesh. The others feel like stone. There are other differences as well. I'm cold in the way a corpse is cold, the others are much colder. I don't weigh more than a human, the others weigh slightly more than humans. I can sleep." He chuckled. "Although, I sleep in a bed, not a coffin. The others can't sleep at all."

"But, I know you've stayed awake for days at a time."

"Just because I can sleep, doesn't mean that I need sleep. It's more of an indulgence. Some of my kind make it a daily habit, others sleep when the mood strikes. Personally, I sleep when circumstances allow for it. I have found that allowing my mind to shut down for a few hours can sometimes give me a fresh perspective."

"That makes sense. How else are you different from the others?" Bella questioned, her eyes alight with curiosity.

"In the sun I exhibit symptoms that mimic heat stroke." With a mischievous grin he added, "Of course my pulse doesn't increase. Nor do I die from it. I won't burn up like the vampires of Hollywood either, but it is quite uncomfortable. It's a discomfort that I can endure. Although, I'm a bit unwell after I attempt it. The others feel no ill effects from sunlight whatsoever, they refract the light instead. It's beautiful to behold."

"I've seen it. It's kind of blinding."

"That it is." He chuckled. "Our feeding is something that is the same with both kinds of vampire, as are our eyes. So too, do we share the same stone-like indestructibility. The difference being that when the others are injured they look like cracked granite. My injuries appear much more human. Although, we both heal in the same way. Our supernatural senses, our speed and our strength are the same. We both have the ability to attract, and to some extent, mesmerize humans. I don't know what causes the two different kinds of vampire. I changed Edward, and he is not like me. He is a vampiro pietra. However, I changed Rosalie and she is like me, a vampiro morbido. The kind of vampire one becomes appears to be random. I have yet to see any pattern or discover any information that makes me think otherwise."

"Maybe only blondes become like you."

Carlisle laughed at her teasing. "I don't think so. Marcus is like me, and he's not blond. All physical attributes are found in both kinds of vampire." Carlisle paused in thought. "I am truly amazed that Edward didn't tell you any of this."

"I think that there are a lot of things Edward hasn't told me," Bella said sadly. She glanced at the hand of Carlisle's that she still held. "You feel cold to the touch but your cold isn't seeping into me. Touching you doesn't make me cold like touching Edward does." She smiled. "That's nice." She became lost in thought for a moment. "You have such incredible control. Not only your thirst for human blood but your touch too. I can't imagine that it's easy to hide your nature from all of your patients and colleagues."

"Touching with human strength is the norm for me now. I have to consciously choose to use my vampiric abilities. However, being this kind of vampire has helped me somewhat in my life's work. If a colleague should, for example, grab my arm, they won't grasp something that feels like stone. I would have still been a doctor were I ice cold and stone-like, but it would have been considerably more challenging."

"I bet it would," Bella said with a grin. "Tell me more."

"Let me see…" he chuckled "…the Volturi have a more specific name for me than vampiro morbido. I am honored with the moniker Stregoni Benefici."

"I do know that. You are good personified, Carlisle, how could you be called anything else?"

"No, Isabella. I am no better than anyone else, human or vampire. Stregoni Benefici was meant as a good natured taunt."

Bella squeezed Carlisle's hand. "You are all that is good, Carlisle. You have the most pure soul." He began to protest, but she cut him off. "No. I won't hear a word otherwise. It's simple fact." She looked up into his eyes and his smile took her breath away.

"Thank you," he said sincerely. He turned his gaze away from her, cleared his throat, and continued. "A great deal of historic vampire lore may be based on my kind of vampire but most of it is wrong. Garlic doesn't particularly bother me. Neither can you kill me with a stake through the heart. I am as indestructible as any vampire. If you wish to be rid of me, you will need to tear me apart, and then burn my pieces to ash."

"I don't have any plans to murder you." Bella laughed.

Carlisle's tone turned somber. "That's good to know." However, his sparkling eyes belied his serious tone.

"Crosses don't seem to bother you, either. You have your father's cross."

"No, I can't be stopped by the sight of a cross."

"Your father's cross is very beautiful."

Carlisle smiled appreciatively. "I'm glad you think so." They lapsed into a comfortable silence for a few minutes, lost in their own thoughts.

Bella shifted in her seat and spoke with a smile. "Your hand is warmer."

"It has been in yours for a while now. My skin, my flesh, will take on heat or cold as it's exposed to it, even though I don't experience much of an affect from the temperature change. And unlike Edward's, my body won't deplete you of your warmth. It will share it. Being in a warm room will do the same. I still usually feel quite cold to humans, but I'm truly room temperature."

"I noticed that sharing my heat with you, just now, didn't make me cold."

"It merely warmed me." Carlisle smiled. "Is there anything else you would like to know?"

Bella thought for a minute. "How is it that you sounded like thunder when Jasper collided with you, during that baseball game?"

"If a stone-like vampire collided with a human using that much force the human would be crushed. You might hear bones snapping accompanied by a rather unpleasant squishing sound. If they were to collide with a tree you would hear the tree crack and fall. If they collide with me I won't be damaged. It doesn't sound at all natural." Carlisle smiled ruefully.

Bella blushed and bit her lip. She looked at the floor and didn't say anything as she released Carlisle's hand.

"Is there something else?"

Bella's blush deepened as she struggled for words.

"Ah," Carlisle said with an indulgent quirk of his lips. "This is a vampire biology lesson isn't it?" Carlisle tipped her chin with his finger, drawing her eyes up to his. "I am a doctor." He notified her formally, eliciting an embarrassed smile from her. "There is no need for you to be shy. After all, how could you know if you didn't ask? Both kinds of vampires can safely engage in any sexual activity with either kind of vampire and with humans."

Bella spoke so quietly that it would have been impossible for a human to have heard her. "No. That can't be right. A vampire will kill a human, if they… you know… have sex with them."

Carlisle's eyes showed his confusion at her statement. He shook his head. "No. There would be no danger to a human during any sex act with a vampire, unless the vampire meant their partner harm. Sex between vampires and humans is the basis for the legends of the succubus and the incubus."

Bella said nothing for a while. She absorbed this damning truth as she willed her blush to lessen. "So, there's no such thing as a succubus or an incubus?"

"Sometimes a female vampire who has sexual relations with only humans, never another vampire, is called a succubus. In the same way that a male vampire who has sexual relations exclusively with humans is called an incubus. However, both names are more slang than phylum."

They lapsed into silence. They sat like this for a while as Bella continued to think about everything Carlisle had told her. Finally, in a timid voice, she asked the question that had been eating away at her. "Why has Edward been misleading me?" Before Carlisle could answer, Bella questioned him further. "Why did Edward make me believe that sex with a vampire would probably kill me? Why didn't Edward tell me the truth about you?"

"Only Edward can answer that." Sadness and disappointment filled Carlisle's eyes. "Why don't you ask him when he gets back from his hunt?"

"I will." Bella answered, determination in her tone.

Carlisle and Bella sat quietly for a several minutes. Bella's stared unseeingly out the enormous windows, her brow furrowed in thought. She considered all that Edward had kept from her. She thought about all of his secrets, all of his lies, and about his lack of faith in their relationship. She thought too, about all that Jasper had said to her. She knew that Jasper, and most probably Alice, knew something that they weren't telling her. Before she could become angry with them for withholding information, she remembered that Edward should be the one to be more open with her.

Carlisle interrupted her disturbing thoughts by gently asking, "Would you like to read with me, to take your mind off things for a while?"

"I would," Bella declared, genuinely brightening.

Carlisle picked up the book he had retrieved from the shelves for her. "I haven't had a chance to read this one. We'll discover it together." Without further conversation, Carlisle opened the book to the first page. Bella settled more comfortably on the sofa beside him as he began to read aloud to her.

Carlisle steered his Mercedes up the drive as his ears picked out the distinct sound of a human heartbeat. He smiled. He had hoped Bella would be there. He closed the front door quietly and followed the rhythmic sound of Bella's heart. He passed silently by Edward as he sat at the piano obviously absorbed by his composing. He smiled as he saw Bella ensconced on the sofa near Emmett and Jasper. They were on the floor in front of the television busily playing a new video game.

Bella didn't notice Carlisle's entrance until she felt the sofa move as his weight settled next to her. She looked up from her book and returned his smile.

"Mrs. Blue is out of danger."

Carlisle would never break a patient's confidence or violate HIPAA regulations. That would go against all that he held sacred. The ethics of confidentiality had never really been an issue for him in the past. He had never had the desire to share anything work related in all his years as a doctor, not until recently. Ever since he and Bella had really gotten to know each other, shortly after Edward had brought her to the house for the first time, he found himself wanting to share things with her. When something went right or when something went wrong at the hospital, he found himself anticipating the next time he would see Bella, so that he could tell her about it. There was something about her unassuming nature that brought his hopes and fears out of him in a way that no one else could. He knew Edward found it strange that he talked to Bella about his work, but Bella didn't. From the first time Bella had politely inquired about his work, and refused to accept the pat answer everyone else had always been satisfied with, he felt a strong desire to speak with her. She listened to him avidly and she made valuable comments as well. Talking with her made his work somehow more satisfying, and if he were truthful with himself, it made him more content than he had been in centuries. He could not resist her genuine interest in his work. It was this that caused him to change the names of his patients so that he could speak freely about them. He would usually select something completely random, like a color or the name of an object that he saw near the patient. Although, in some cases he would resort to naming them after whatever procedure had been performed on them. In this way he could converse freely with Bella. Even if he had used their real names, he knew that she would keep his confidence. However, this code seemed more ethical to both of them.

Bella released a breath of thanks. "That's wonderful. I know how worried you were about her."

Carlisle grinned. His voice became imbued with pleasure; he had been waiting to tell Bella all day. "I began the new treatment last night. She responded favorably within a few minutes."

"I never doubted you. I knew you would think of something that would work."

Carlisle sobered. "We did lose Mr. Laryngoscope this afternoon."

"You were pretty sure that he wouldn't make it." Bella's voice was soft and consoling. "But, that doesn't make losing him any easier. Telling his family must have been the worst."

"It was in wife's eyes, she looked so..." Carlisle paused in remembrance "…lost. I wonder sometimes if my work is futile. I save one, and lose another. I know that every patient I see will eventually make that one visit that they don't go home from."

Emmett didn't realize that it had been Carlisle's emotional turmoil that caused Jasper to make a mistake, putting him ahead in their game.

Bella spoke before Jasper could send emotional comfort to Carlisle. "I can't imagine what it's like, to be the bearer of such news. To tell someone that they're a widow. That their partner in life is gone forever." Bella paused. "What did you do then, Carlisle, when you saw how lost she looked?"

"All I could do was put a blanket around her shoulders and sit with her." He smiled sadly. "I had Jenny bring her some tea. I think it helped a bit. After she'd drunk some, I was able to convince her to give me her sister's phone number. I called her sister to come and get her. I didn't want her to go home alone. I didn't want her to face an empty house for the first time after her husband's death without someone there for her."

"Did her sister come?"

"She did. I helped her make arrangements so that she can spend two weeks with Mrs. Laryngoscope. Her boss didn't want to give her paid leave, but he did after I spoke with him. I don't think he'll be too hard on her when she gets back to work, either. She'll be here to help Mrs. Laryngoscope with the arrangements, and then to help her sort through the difficulties afterwards."

"Having her sister with her should ease the transition for her, at least a little bit." Bella wanted to turn Carlisle's thoughts to something more positive. She was hopeful that her next question would do the trick. "How's Baby Yellow Rose?"

Jasper felt Carlisle's emotions improving as he spoke with Bella. He decided that Carlisle didn't need his gift.

Carlisle gave Bella a grateful smile. "She's going home tomorrow. Her parents are thrilled. They were so worried. But, now that she's made a complete recovery-"

Bella cut across him. "Thanks to your quick thinking!"

"Yes." Carlisle drew in an unnecessary breath. "Well, they are quite excited about getting her home. I think they will be a happy family."

"How are you doing on getting that open MRI machine?"

"I think I'll be going to Seattle to do some personal fundraising. If everyone in Forks contributes what they can, it still won't be enough."

"And by 'personal' fundraising, you mean covering up the fact that you'll be footing the balance."

Carlisle grinned sheepishly. "Nothing gets by you."

"Oh, I don't know about that. I just know how much you care."

"Sometimes it feels like a drop in the ocean."

"It's a drop that affects all the life in the ocean around it, and that's a big deal, Carlisle. Don't make light of what you do or of how long you've been doing it. There are some things that are beyond your control. I think you wish you could be everywhere at once and help everyone. You may be a doctor and Stregoni Benefici, but you aren't God. You do all that you can do, and you've made countless lives better for it. No human doctor can diagnose trauma as quickly as your natural senses can, there are so many ways that your unique abilities have saved lives. The combination of your intelligence, your talent and your supernatural abilities are invaluable to everyone whose life you touch. Who knows what science will bring in the future, but you'll still be here, healing and helping when it arrives. Knowing you, you'll invent that incredible futuristic healing thing, and then let someone else take the credit for it."

"Hey!" Emmett's booming voice almost made the glass wall shake as Jasper took the lead in their game again.

Carlisle and Bella laughed at their antics. The piano music stopped abruptly. In an instant Edward stood in front of Bella. "Come on **,** Bella, let's go," he ordered. "I can't do anything with the noise those two are making."

"Wait a moment please, Edward." Carlisle interjected.

In less than a minute he had gone to his study and returned with a book for Bella. He pressed it into her hands. "I believe you wanted to borrow this."

"Thank you!" Bella called over her shoulder, as Edward began leading her out the door by her hand.

"Call your father, tell him we're going to Port Angeles," Edward said tersely.

Bella unbuckled her seatbelt as Edward shifted the Volvo into park in front of Bella Italia. The drive had been one long exercise in uncomfortable silence. Edward led Bella into the restaurant and requested the table where they had passed their first date together. Having not yet been spoken to by Edward, Bella continued the silence as they were seated. The waitress, again, had eyes only for Edward. Without asking Bella's input, he ordered the same meal for her that she had eaten on their first date, when she'd been supposed to dine with her friends. When the waitress left, Bella could stand it no more. She broke the tense silence. "Edward-" she began, only to be silenced by him.

Edward's voice sounded pained. "Bella, please, give me a minute."

She didn't mention that he'd had several silent minutes on the harrowing car ride here. She watched as different emotions played across Edward's features, each one seeming to cause him more pain than the previous.

Edward cleared his throat. "Bella..."

All she could hear was an unpleasant ringing in her ears. She lost track of his words as she stared at what he was fingering. She had been afraid this was coming. He had been talking about it. She really had tried to stop it from happening. She had let Edward know that she did not want to marry him. She had been distant and stand-offish. She had stopped trying to be physically romantic with him. He seemed completely oblivious to all of her efforts to cool their relationship.

Her hearing came back long enough for her to understand the words, "...my mother's ring..."

She knew that if she really were Edward's soul mate, his vampire mate as he believed, it wouldn't matter. In that case she was certain that she would want marriage too, even though she'd been schooled against it. It wouldn't matter to her that he held one of the ugliest rings she had ever seen; she would love it because it had meaning for him. She knew in her heart that Edward wasn't her soul mate. Instead of all the feelings of love and commitment she knew she would have for her soul mate, she was filled with a cold dread. Surprisingly, this dread was not her usual aversion to the institution of marriage dread. No, she had thought that aversion through after talking with Jasper. She no longer felt that marriage needed to be avoided at all costs. She now knew that if she felt the deep connection with someone that made her want to be in their presence forever, marriage wouldn't be a problem for her. In fact she would want it. It would be an affirmation.

She had repeatedly questioned herself. The main question being, "Do I want to spend eternity with Edward?" She could no longer imagine eternity with Edward working out very well. There was a time before she really knew him, when her infatuation had been fresh, that she would have sworn that she would be happy with him forever. Now that thought was unfathomable. She needed to stop this, but she didn't want to hurt Edward. She had to act. She knew what she had to do. She knew it would cause her embarrassment, but that was a feeling she was used to. So, she did what came naturally for her. She leaned over, as if to speak to Edward, and intentionally caught her sleeve in the flame of the candle. She knew that Edward's quick reflexes could ruin her plan. To avoid his intervention, she unexpectedly veered to her left as she jumped to her feet. Then, she intentionally fell over her own chair and feigned hitting her head.

All thoughts of rings and potential marriage proposals were forgotten as Edward sped her towards the Cullen home and Carlisle's medical expertise. This drive wasn't silent. Edward had incessantly inquired about her state of health. She sighed. Regardless of the fact that Edward had attended medical school, he had never been comfortable with the field. He had never practiced medicine and he made it clear to Bella that he didn't trust himself to diagnose the common cold. He had tried medical school a second time, both times he had passed, but it never really sat well with him. He'd told her that medicine wasn't something he liked.

When they returned to the Cullen house, they walked in to find Jasper trying to get Alice to go hunting with him. Esme, Rosalie and Emmett had already left to hunt. Edward was drawn immediately into the discussion. With Bella in the house, he always came down on the side of extra hunting. In no time, he maneuvered Alice into agreement. Edward joined Alice and Jasper, citing that Carlisle would never be a danger to humans, but that everyone else could always use a little extra nourishment for the sake of Bella's safety. The three could be seen through the glass wall as they ran off into the woods.

Carlisle turned to Bella, concern evident his in voice and body language. "What happened, Isabella?"

Bella had heard Edward recount the incident to Carlisle in minute detail. But she appreciated Carlisle asking her directly. "It was nothing, really. I tripped over a chair."

"Did you hit your head?"

"I'm not hurt. I'm perfectly fine," she assured him.

"Good." He gave her a warm smile.

She was speechless. She couldn't believe that he had simply taken her word for the state of her health. Edward always questioned any answer she gave him. Edward always believed that she couldn't be trusted to know her own mind or body.

Carlisle's voice filtered through her inner wonder. "Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, please."

Carlisle led her in to the kitchen and gestured politely for her to sit at the counter. She watched his graceful movements as he gathered what he needed. He began preparing the tea with a practiced hand.

"Do you miss drinking tea?"

Carlisle turned toward her, leaning casually against the stove. "Tea wasn't popular when I was human, not like it is now."

"Did you drink any when you were human?"

"Yes, I was fortunate to be amongst the first of my countrymen to try it. Even before it was served in Garraway's."

"What's Garraway's?" Bella had become intrigued.

"It was the first coffeehouse that I know of to serve tea in England. It was no Starbuck's. Coffeehouses back then were meeting places for professional men to discuss business, politics, current events, whatever suited them. Women would never have entered such an establishment. As a Preacher's son, I didn't frequent coffeehouses myself. But, I had a friend named Miles. We were boys together. When we met it was like Miles and I were long lost brothers. We rarely had time to spend together, but our bond had been instant and enduring. When he was still quite young, just turned eleven if I recall correctly, he signed up on a ship. His job was mainly to swab the decks and clean up after the sailors. But the sea got into his blood. Still, whenever he came home, he would take the time to come and see me. After his first voyage to the Orient, he brought back Chá, as he called it. Tea." Carlisle's eyes glowed in memory. "Some of my human memories have faded a bit, but most are still quite clear. My memories of Miles seem to remain intact. It's thanks to him that I acquired a taste for tea, long before most Englishmen had ever heard of it."

The kettle began to whistle and Carlisle turned off the burner. Bella watched as he poured some of the hot water in the teapot and swirled it around before pouring it into the sink. "To warm the pot," he informed her with a smile. He finished making the tea and set the pot near her. He set a cup and saucer in front of her, along with all the other necessary tea accoutrements.

Bella reached for the teapot but Carlisle had, of course, beaten her to it. She blushed when she realized that her hand was wrapped around his instead of the handle of the teapot. It took only an instant for her to appreciate the feel of his hand, the angular contours, the long elegant fingers, and the texture of his soft, cool skin. She found that she didn't want to let go. In fact, she wanted to touch him even more. Her eyes rose to meet his, as he looked at her through his lashes. Time stood still for Bella. Her breath hitched in her chest. She forgot to breathe as she looked into the depths of Carlisle's golden eyes. His gaze was intense and somehow intimate. She felt the pounding of her heart and heard the rushing of her blood in her ears as his lips curved into a private smile. She found herself immersed in acute awareness of him, nothing else existed in the world at that moment. Reluctantly, she drew her hand away.

"Please, allow me." Carlisle filled her cup and set the pot back on the counter.

To cover her embarrassment, Bella looked at her cup while she asked Carlisle if he'd read the newest best seller. Her overwhelmed mind didn't process his answer. Instead, her mind conjured the memory of Carlisle's skilled hands as he worked, so strong, precise and graceful. She mentally shook herself and vowed to forget the accidental meeting of their hands. It meant nothing. Their hands had touched before.

 _AN:_

 _Many thanks for your reviews of chapter one!_


	3. Decision

_The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment and anyone else who may legally claim ownership. No copyright infringement is intended._

 **Chapter 3: Decision**

Bella walked into the kitchen and greeted her father with a broad smile. "Hey, Dad."

Charlie grunted an inarticulate reply before folding his newspaper and setting it aside. "Bells, you're not dressed, you're gonna be late for school."

"No, Dad, I'm not going to school today."

"Are you sick? Do you need to see the doctor?"

Bella thought that she did need to see one doctor in particular, but not because she was ill. She only wanted to be in Carlisle's soothing presence. She felt like she could face anything when she was with him. She wasn't really ill and she knew what to say to ease her father's mind. "No, it's just female stuff. It's nothing to worry about. I'm just not up to school today."

"Oh, uh, okay, Bells." Charlie was clearly uncomfortable. He rose quickly and dumped his breakfast dishes in the sink. "I've got a double today, so I'll be home around midnight. You call me if you need anything, okay."

"Yeah, Dad, but I'll be fine."

He quickly grabbed his jacket and headed out.

When Bella heard Charlie's cruiser pull onto the road, she hurried up the stairs to dress. She really wished she had someone she could talk to. Her mom wasn't an option; she was too jaded. The girls at school were too vapid. Alice was way too biased. Jasper, she could talk to Jasper. She rummaged in her desk and found the slip of paper with his number on it. She'd wait until she knew he and Alice had separate classes. Then, she'd send him a text and ask him to meet her after school. Alice would probably see it but she was sure Jasper could get away from Alice if he tried. Until Jasper was out of school for the day, she'd go to the meadow she loved to spend time with Edward in and think. She knew she'd probably come to a decision before Jasper could meet her, but she thought talking it over with him would help, anyway.

She packed a bag with everything she thought she might need for the day. It was heavier than she'd expected it to be. She sighed and picked up the book she was reading, _An Unsuitable Job for a Woman_ , her most recent acquisition from Carlisle's library. She added it to her bag, just in case she needed a distraction.

She stopped in the kitchen and left a note for Charlie. He wasn't supposed to get home before she did, but she didn't want to take any chances. He had wanted to ground her after she had gone to Volterra but once he had calmed down, they had talked again. She'd apologized for worrying him and promised to never take off without a way for him to contact her again. When he still wanted to ground her, she had calmly explained that she was eighteen. She told him that he would need to take her word that she understood that her disappearance to Italy was terrible for him. She told him she wouldn't do it again. She made it clear that if he wanted her to continue to live in his house, he would need to accept that. It had been a long, serious discussion, but in the end he had agreed that, as long as it never happened again, he'd let it go. She had been very careful to ensure Charlie's peace of mind since that discussion.

When Bella arrived at the meadow, she spread her blanket out and sank down onto it. It was unseasonably warm for the second day of April. It was usually chilly at this time of year, but not today. She turned her face skyward and closed her eyes. She thought over her time with Edward. She remembered when she had thought that she loved him unconditionally and irrevocably. That was before he left her in the forest. At first, he had seemed like such a miracle to her. A miracle that she didn't want to let go. Her love for him had been sudden and intense. She had believed she couldn't live without him. Then, she had lived without him. She had lived without him for months when he left her. Those months had been torturous. She now seriously wondered if that torture had been more from the loss of her connection with the entire Cullen family than with her loss of Edward himself. She contemplated that for hours. She needed to be absolutely sure of herself and her feelings. She remembered how intensely relieved and alive she felt when saw Alice again. She had wondered about Edward, but her all consuming-anguish had abated with the arrival of Alice. Just being with Alice made her feel like she could breathe again, like she could live again. She had somehow known that when Alice came for her, it meant that the rest of the family would soon follow, even if Edward did not. She had missed them all acutely. It had been Edward's face and voice her mind had conjured when they were gone. At the time she had thought it was because she missed and needed Edward specifically. When Alice came to her, she knew it wasn't just Edward that she had missed and needed. His absence alone wasn't the cause of her distress. It was the absence of the entire family that had left her bereft. She thought that perhaps she hallucinated Edward giving her orders because she had simply become so used to his demanding presence. He had spoken like they were vampire mates. She was sure they couldn't be because he had been able to leave her. Even if he thought he was doing it for her safety, a true mate couldn't do that. She realized that if their love had been more than a puppy love they would have talked together and found a way to make it work. Together.

Edward was always deciding what he thought was right and acting on it without her consent. She thought about the things they did together, and realized that, when they were together she always deferred to Edward. They did what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it. Sometimes it happened to be what she wanted to do too. However, more often than not, it wasn't. She thought of her time at the Cullens' house. When Edward was working on his music, she would usually feel obliged to sit beside him or at the piano with him and simply be his rapt audience. She didn't dislike his music. However, her happiest times were when he became so engrossed in his composing that she could escape to another part of the house and do something that she liked to do.

She smiled as she thought about the time she got to spend in Carlisle's study. She really thought about that. She sat up with a start, her eyes opening. She realized with alarming clarity that she and Edward really didn't enjoy the same things. She wondered why it was so glaringly obvious to her now. She wondered, too, why she never suggested that they do something she wanted to do. Then it hit her; she was afraid. She always did what Edward wanted because she was afraid. She was afraid that if she voiced a differing opinion he might not want her, and if he didn't want her she might lose all contact with the family she had come to love so dearly. She knew in her bones that Edward would never allow her to follow her own heart and mind. She had unknowingly tested it. She had pressed to further their physical relationship. He had simply rejected her. His no meant no and he would not be convinced otherwise, regardless of her feelings. She had accepted his decision. She had kept trying, but he always rejected her advances. There was no truth to the excuses he had given her. He'd lied. He wouldn't hurt her during sex anymore than he would hurt her any other time. If he chose to hurt her he most definitely could, but it was not something that would just happen. So his refusal was just that, a refusal, not a way of keeping her safe. She had wanted to do something, and he didn't, and that was the end of it. They did what he wanted to do, as always.

She did love him, but she knew with an unshakable certitude that their love had not been the love of two people meant to spend eternity together. They weren't soul mates or vampire mates. They were simply two people who had tried to make a relationship work. She had been a curiosity to him, and if she told herself the truth, he had been nothing more than that to her as well. Her mind that he could not read, and her blood that was so hard for him to resist, had drawn him to her. His supernatural world had drawn her to him. Their love would never have stood the test of time. Their love was a passing thought. It was no more than the brief caress of a gentle breeze. She laughed at her romanticism. She was glad there was no one who could read her mind. She sobered. She still had to find a way to tell Edward. She didn't want to lose him as a friend. She had to make him accept that they were meant to be friends and that anything more was unrealistic.

She had gone to see Jacob right after she had returned from Italy. She had finally made him understand that there would never be anything more than friendship between them; now, she had to do the same with Edward.

She sent Jasper a text, got out her bottle of water and her book, and put the worry aside. She'd talk to Jasper later, for now she needed a break from the headache that was Edward.

Bella was absorbed in her book when she felt a presence. She looked up and suppressed a startled squeak when she saw Alice and Jasper quietly watching her. She closed her book and sat up. "How long have you guys been here?" she asked.

"We just got here," Jasper said with a smile.

Alice bounded over and plopped down beside her. She looked at her earnestly and took her hands. "It's okay, Bella. I saw your decision earlier today. Since you decided to have this talk with Edward, a future that I've seen for you has solidified."

"What have you seen, Alice?"

Alice spoke deliberately and emphatically. "You will be a part of our family. There is no doubt of that. Even if the future I see for you now changes in another way-"

Jasper laughed. "Darlin', from what I feel comin' off those involved, there's little chance of that future changing."

Alice smiled. "If something should happen, however unlikely, I will master the strength and I will change you myself. Although, I don't think that will be necessary. I've been pushing you to marry Edward, and I'm sorry for that. I really wanted you to be my sister. Edward has been so lonely for so long, and I thought that if you married him everything would be perfect. But when Jazz got your text we left school early. We talked for a long time. I haven't been listening to Jazz for a while now or being honest with myself about my visions. I just had an idea of how I wanted things to turn out and I wouldn't think about any other way. Now I know how wrong I was. I realized that you don't have to marry Edward to be my sister. You're already my sister, and you always will be. Forever." She glanced sheepishly at her husband, and then looked Bella in the eyes. "You will be so very happy and you will be with us for eternity. Remember, I promised you that I will always tell you the truth. I am. You are going to be one of us, Bella."

"Alice, what do you see for me?"

"Oh, she's not tellin', are you?" Jasper drawled.

"No, I'm not. Seriously, Bella, I wouldn't want to tell you and have that make something go wrong. Just trust me. The fact that you will be one of us is a constant. That has never changed, no matter what decisions have been made and unmade. I did see you coming, Bella, and in every potential future that I've seen, you are always one of us."

Bella smiled at Alice. "Okay, one other thing then, Miss-Magic-Eight-Ball. What can I do so that Edward and I will still be friends after I tell him that I've realized that I don't want a romantic relationship with him, that I can't love him in the way he wants me to?"

"You don't love me, Bella?" Edward gasped, shock and emotion roughening his voice.

Bella's blood ran cold. "Edward! How... how long have you been there?"

"Just long enough to hear you say that you don't love me. Bella, this can't be true. You love me. You know you do!" Edward insisted, advancing upon her. Not taking his eyes off Bella he addressed his pseudo siblings. "Jasper, Alice, would you leave us alone, please?"

"No, Edward, they can stay." Bella's voice betrayed her emotional state.

Edward struggled to make eye contact with Bella. "We need to talk."

"I know. But there is nothing we can hide from Alice and Jasper, anyway." She hoped he would accept her argument. Her heart rate and breathing increased in her distress. She kept her eyes averted. She really wanted to get through this without Edward trying to dazzle her.

"Fine, I'll talk to you tonight, when I come to your room."

"No! Edward, I don't want you doing that anymore."

"Bella, you want me there. You don't sleep well without your mate by your side. I'll see you tonight and we'll talk then." His tone and mannerisms made it clear that he expected no further argument.

"No, Edward!" Bella was beginning to panic. She wondered how she could keep him from doing whatever he wanted to do. "Please listen. I don't want you coming to my room anymore. You are not my mate. I want my privacy. I want to be your friend, Edward, nothing more. Don't come to my room."

In less than an instant, Edward was in her personal space. He grabbed her chin and forced her face to his. It reminded her of when she had asked everyone to vote for or against her change. She squeezed her eyes shut. She would not look into his eyes. He held her jaw so securely that it was impossible for her to speak. She struggled in his grasp for only a moment when she heard Alice speak forcefully. "Edward, you're hurting her!"

Edward released her chin. "Please understand, Edward, I want to be your friend." She rubbed her aching jawline. "You're important to me. I just don't feel anything more than friendship for you."

"You do, Bella. You love me. We're soul mates. You're going to marry me. We'll be together until the day you die. You know we will. Then, I will go to the Volturi and follow you in death."

"No, Edward. I don't love you like that. I'm not your soul mate. If I were it would be as if we were two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together. We aren't. We don't fit like that. You keep trying to shape me to make me fit, but I don't. You need to stop trying to make me something I'm not. Can't you see that?"

"You're confused, Bella. We are mates. You'll see in time. We'll have a long and happy life together, and then when you are taken from me by death, I'll simply follow."

"Edward, you have to stop talking as if your life would be over if I died. You can't just kill yourself. We aren't Romeo and Juliet. Their tale is a tragedy. I'm not going to marry you, and I'm not going to be part of your tragedy."

"No, Bella, we love each other."

"We tried to love each other, but it didn't work. You left. I'm not your mate and I will never be your wife or your life. You need to understand that, Edward. Trying to force that relationship between us, that would be a tragedy."

Edward's voice became quiet and cajoling. "It was a tragedy when we were apart, Bella, you remember that. We can avoid tragedy just by being together."

"Those months that you were gone were the darkest of my life. But the tragedy wasn't because you left, Edward. At first I thought it was. Then I realized that it wasn't just because you left, it was because you took everyone with you when you did. The absence of all of you was a like huge hole in my chest, an emptiness that I couldn't fill. There was nothing left for me. Alice, my best friend, was gone. You were all gone. The human lifetime you have planned for us, it won't work. You can't follow me in death. I won't die. Carlisle promised to change me. You were there. He won't go back on his word. And if he can't change me, Alice will. The Volturi command it, and even more importantly, I want it. One day you will find your true mate, and you will have a long and happy eternity with her. I'm not your mate, Edward. I do love you, but only as a friend. We tried to make it more than that but we couldn't. If you believe in mates, then deep down, you must know we aren't each others."

"You jumped off a cliff, just to see me."

"Yes, doing crazy things made me see you, Edward. But my visions of you, they weren't of love. They were of you telling me what to do. At the time I was too upset to realize the difference. I didn't know anything for sure. I couldn't think straight. My despair wasn't just because you left me, it was because you took everyone with you. If only you had left Alice. If Alice and Jasper had stayed so I could talk to her, then it wouldn't have been… I don't know… like it was." Bella's face betrayed her inner turmoil. "The only things I'm absolutely sure of are that I love all of you and that I don't love you as a girlfriend, Edward. I'm not your mate.

Edward gazed at Bella with a pleading look in his yellow eyes. "Think of all that we had together, didn't that mean anything to you?"

"What we had? We had arguments. We never agreed on anything. You would dazzle me into forgetting what I wanted, and if you couldn't do that you just did whatever you wanted to do anyway."

"Everything I ever did was out of love for you, Bella. There are bound to be certain difficulties in any relationship."

"Difficulties? You lied to me Edward. You lied to me all the time and you kept secrets from me. You dazzled me to get your way, and you left me. That's not love. I don't want to be in a relationship like that."

"I'll change, Bella. If I'm not what you want, I'll change."

A deep sadness was evident in Bella's expression. "Edward, that's just it. If we were right for each other you wouldn't try to make me into something I'm not, and you wouldn't have to try to change either. Don't you see? We aren't meant to be in a romantic relationship. But I do want us to be friends."

"How could I just be friends with you, Bella, when I love you so much?"

"We were never really more than friends, Edward. Sure, you kissed me a couple of times. All of our kisses were chaste kisses. They were not the kisses of two people in love. Please, Edward, be my friend and leave it at that."

Edward seemed unsure of how to proceed in the presence of Jasper and Alice. Jasper was clearly struggling with Bella's emotions, and Alice was beaming. "Alice, what?"

Alice's wind chime voice was full of conviction. "It will all be okay, Edward. You'll see. Just be Bella's friend, let her go."

Edward glared at Alice. "Could you let Jasper go?"

Alice's tone was placating. "Edward, Jasper is my mate. So no, I couldn't let him go. Don't you see? If Bella was your mate you couldn't have left her. I can see it. You will find your true mate, Edward, and so will Bella, just not in each other."

Edward growled. "You're wrong, Alice."

"I'm not," Alice returned with quiet assurance.

"Please, Edward," Bella pled. "I don't love you like that. I don't want that with you and I never will. I don't want to lose any of you, but I can't pretend that I want to be in a romantic relationship with you. If we can't be friends than we can't be anything."

"You really mean this." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, I really mean it. I've thought about nothing else for a long time now. Please, Edward, can't we just be friends."

Edward turned to Bella. "All right, Bella. I'd rather be friends with you than nothing."

Bella didn't quite believe him. "There are a couple of things I need you to promise me, Edward. Promise me that you won't come to my room."

"But, Bella- "

"No, I mean it, Edward. No coming to my room anymore, and no trying to dazzle me. We can't be friends if you try to push things further. Can you make those promises and keep them?"

"If you insist." He cast Alice a scathing glance. "Apparently, Alice will be watching to see that I keep my word." Edward laughed mirthlessly. "I guess she thinks I need a babysitter."

Everyone was gathered in the main area of the Cullen home. Edward sat at the piano playing what sounded like a funeral dirge. However, Emmett and Rosalie were successfully drowning him out with the video game they were playing. Esme and Alice were sitting on the floor with their heads together looking at interior design magazines, and Bella was seated happily on the sofa between Carlisle and Jasper, reading her novel. Jasper was apparently absorbed in a book on the Coke-Davis dispute, while Carlisle balanced an open copy of The New England Journal of Medicine on his knee. It began as a completely uneventful evening, and it carried on that way for a couple of peaceful hours.

The peace was disturbed when Edward suddenly stood before the sofa. His expression was one of barely controlled rage.

Jasper glanced up at him with an innocent look.

"What are you hiding?" Edward demanded.

"Hiding?"

Edward's voice had a hard edge to it. "You're reading at the same time you're thinking about the Voynich Manuscript in great detail."

Jasper gave him a slow smile, "Well now, that's makes me wonder why you were trying to dig so deeply into my thoughts."

"Now you're conjugating Old Occitan verbs! What are you hiding?"

Jasper's slow southern drawl was the only sound in the room. "I'm not hiding anything, can I help it if my mind is wanderin' this evening?"

Edward gave him a disgusted look and turned to Bella. "Come on, Bella, I'm taking you home."

Bella's smile was forced. "No thanks, Alice already planned to drive me later."

Alice's voice was lacking some of its' chirpiness. "Of course I'm driving you home, we have to go through your closet. But I didn't think you were ready to go, it's still early."

"I'm not-" Bella began, only to be interrupted by Edward.

"She's ready. I'll take her."

"No, Edward, Alice is taking me."

"Fine. I'll see you out." Edward pulled Bella up by her arm, causing her book to tumble into Carlisle's lap. Edward marched her to the door before Carlisle could hand it to her.

"Edward, what-" Bella began.

Edward silenced her with a bruising kiss. Bella tried desperately to push him off her but his hold on her was too strong.

Bella wrenched her head to the side. "Edward! Get off me!"

"I love you." He whispered, even though he knew everyone would be able to hear him.

"I told you that I don't love you like that."

"I'll come to your room later." It was clear that he had tried to make this whisper low enough not to be heard this time, but in his angry state it didn't work. "Just let me take you home now."

"I don't want you in my room. We talked about this, Edward."

"Are we going to do this… here?"

"There is nowhere else. What were you thinking? Did you think doing this now, in front of your family, would somehow make me change my mind? I want to be your friend, Edward, nothing more, you know that.

"Bella, you are my mate, we're meant to be together. You're just confused right now."

"No, Edward. You need to stop this. I want to be your friend. You know I don't want anything more than friendship with you. You agreed that we could just be friends. I can't do this anymore. If I have to stay away from here, from the family, I will."

It was clear that Alice didn't like the outcome of that decision. "No! Bella, you're my best friend. We all love you and want you here with us. You don't have to stay away from us."

Jasper appeared at Bella's side. "I know what you're feeling. I know what everyone in this room is feeling. Believe me, Bella, separating yourself from us would only bring a world of grief and misery to everyone."

Carlisle moved to stand in front of Bella. Bella turned her face up to Carlisle as he spoke. "If you want to keep this between you and Edward, we'll all respect your wishes. We'll give you privacy."

Alice answered Carlisle. "No, this involves all of us now. Edward made this a family issue tonight."

"This is between Bella and me!" Edward growled. "I'm taking Bella home, and she and I will talk alone. It's no one else's business."

Carlisle spoke with quiet authority. "Edward, that is Bella's decision."

"I'm not going anywhere with you, Edward."

Alice rounded on Edward. "You made it our business. Jasper and I wouldn't have said anything, and I don't think Bella would have brought it up either. But, you did. Bella needs to know how we all feel about her. She needs to know that she's one of us, that we'll never abandon her again even if you tell us to." Alice looked around the room at her family. "At least Jazz and I never will. Bella deserves to know where she stands with all of us."

"Alice, if Bella wants a family meeting to discuss your concerns we'll have one. That's her decision." Carlisle turned to Bella and looked earnestly into her eyes. "I can only speak for myself, but like Alice and Jasper, I won't leave you again unless you ask me to. Understand?"

Bella smiled as she looked into Carlisle's eyes. "Thank you." Bella's gaze wandered around the room. She looked at each Cullen family member. "I think you guys all deserve to know what's going on. It's affecting you. So yeah, we should talk, if you don't mind."

When Alice spoke, her foreknowledge was apparent. "A family meeting will be really helpful."

Carlisle inclined his head toward Alice and addressed Bella again. "If you're sure it's what you want, we can have a family meeting in a little while. It seems to be the solution Alice thinks will be best."

"It is for the best." Alice assured them.

Carlisle pressed the novel Bella had been reading into her hands. "Jasper can help Edward sort out his feelings, and then we can all meet to discuss anything you feel comfortable sharing with us. It's still quite early. If you would like to finish your book you can read in my study with me, where there should be no interruptions. I'm heading up to finish the article I was reading. Will you come with me?" Carlisle asked.

A relieved smile graced Bella's features. "Yes, Carlisle."

Bella smiled as Carlisle stepped to the side to allow her to enter his study before him. She sank gratefully into the comforting embrace of his leather sofa. Instead of taking his usual seat behind his desk, Carlisle stood just inside the door. He looked at Bella and then at the empty sofa beside her. He approached her slowly, a request for permission in his every movement. When she smiled up at him in welcome, he sat beside her. He returned her smile, his gaze gentle, his posture open. She unconsciously leaned toward him. She didn't touch him, but they were close enough to feel each others' presence.

She held her novel without opening it. If Carlisle had not been a vampire, he would not have heard the words she spoke so quietly. "Edward was drawn to my blood. He was fascinated by my quiet mind. He was enthralled with my humanity. That was an intense combination. He let it take him over, he proved that in Volterra." She laughed bitterly. "I was drawn to the puzzle Edward presented. He was something new, something mysterious. It wasn't long after we met when, without any real transition we were hardly ever apart. When I found out he'd been in my room at night watching me sleep, I allowed him to keep doing it. The rare times we had more than just a couple of hours apart, I'd begin to question the strong feelings I'd experienced. They seemed, I don't know, empty and a bit unreal. I didn't want to admit my doubts even to myself. If I had been willing to admit my doubts, there was never time for them to take hold before Edward would be back and the intensity would renew. Although I didn't admit it to myself at the time, I knew there was no foundation for our relationship. The connection between us was shallow. Edward and I, we don't even have anything in common, not really. We never agreed about anything. I would always just do whatever he wanted. That's not real love. I liked him, I still do. It's just not enough for what he wants. He keeps trying to make it work. I think he believes that I'll change and become what he needs. I can't. I don't know how to make myself into someone else to please him, and I know I don't want to learn."

"You've given this quite a lot of thought."

"Jasper encouraged me to think about it. He says he knows how I feel, how Edward feels, how everyone feels. He told me that sometimes he's aware of feelings before we even admit them to ourselves."

"Jasper made you question your relationship with Edward?"

"No, I was already questioning it. When Edward left me in the forest there was time for my doubts to take hold. Then when Alice finally showed up at Charlie's house after all that time, I was so happy. I missed you all terribly. I can't even put it into words. I was devastated when all of you left, but it was more than that. It was like my soul had gone too and I was left here empty. Everything was meaningless. I thought that it was the lack of Edward in my life that made me feel like that, but it wasn't. I did miss Edward, but I've come to realize that I didn't miss him more than I missed any of you. Jasper didn't make me question my relationship with Edward. He just asked me to take the time to think things through carefully. He asked me not to rush into anything with Edward. I think he didn't want me to make a promise to Edward that I would regret. Of course, he wouldn't make it easy for me. He never told me how any of you feel. He wouldn't even tell me what he felt coming from me that made him approach me."

"I should never… we should never have listened to Edward. He insisted that it would be best for you if we all left. If Alice could have foreseen the outcome we wouldn't have gone."

"Alice is pretty reliable, isn't she? After I made my decision to tell Edward that I want to be his friend and nothing more, Alice told me she had a vision. Of course, she's being more cryptic than Jasper. All she will tell me is to follow my heart and everything will turn out for the best."

"Are you following your heart?"

"I am. I'm following my heart and my mind. And you know what? It feels really good." Bella hesitated and studied her hands. "It still... I'm still... afraid. I'm afraid that if I don't give Edward what he wants I will lose all of you again." She glanced up at Carlisle. "Did you mean it?"

She didn't have to explain. Carlisle understood. His emotions were running so high that the British accent he usually reverted to when at home became even more pronounced. "I hope that it didn't sound trite to you. I've never said that to anyone before. I've never meant anything more in all my years on this Earth. I will not leave you, Isabella. Not ever, not unless you ask me to go."

"I won't be asking you to go, so I guess you're stuck with me then." Bella smiled.

Carlisle walked with Bella to the dining area where the family was gathering for the meeting. Carlisle moved the arm chair from the foot of the table and placed it directly beside his arm chair at the head of the table. He held it for Bella. When she was seated Jasper smiled at them. Alice took the side chair nearest Bella. When everyone settled in their places at the table, Carlisle began. "We don't usually bring interpersonal problems into such a public forum. However, in this case, it seems that we need to. Edward, Bella has set some boundaries that you seem to be having a difficult time accepting. Let's discuss this." Carlisle looked kindly at Bella. "Would you please tell us all what you have asked of Edward?"

Bella looked tentatively around the table, not daring to let her gaze fall on Edward. A deep blush stained her cheeks and shame became visible in her features. "I don't want to cause any problems. I never wanted to be a burden to this family."

Jasper's voice was firm as he responded. "Bella, you aren't a burden to our family you're part it. It's entirely your choice how you want to fit in with us. So let's, if you think it's a good idea Carlisle, start slowly. Why don't I tell you how I really feel about you?" Jasper winked at Bella, making her smile. Alice took her husband's hand, and beamed with pride. "And then, you can tell me how you really feel about me. After that, we can go around the table and all do the same."

Carlisle nodded in agreement. "That's a wonderful idea, Jasper." He turned his attention to Bella. "Will you be comfortable with this?"

"That's... I," she hesitated and in drew a calming breath, "… sure, that sounds good." She gave Carlisle a tremulous smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"So, Bella," Jasper said, his southern drawl, filling the room with warmth. "I think of you as a sister. One I have come to care for, deeply. I want to protect you from harm in any way I can. Still, I know I have to let you make your own decisions. If a decision you make turns out to be a mistake, I'll always be here to help you figure your way around and through it. I'd like to think that with the years I've spent makin' my own mistakes and learning' from them, along with my unique abilities, you'd feel comfortable comin' to talk to me. And you can, anytime."

"Thanks, Jasper." Bella was silent for a moment. "You know you're a friend and I love you like a brother, Jasper. I don't think I'll ever need to come to you if I want to talk, because somehow you know before I do. It's not fair really, I don't have anything I can offer you in return."

"You never give yourself enough credit. You may not be an empath, but you offer us all so much just by being you. It's not that you're human, the world is full of humans. It's you. You're special." He paused at the murmur of agreement that rose around the table. "You're fun to be with. You make me happy. You make us all happy, and trust me I know how people are feelin'. You give something special to all of us, just by being with us. You may not be an old vampire, but you have a unique wisdom that you seem to have been born with. You teach us as much as we can teach you."

Alice, who seemed to be bursting at the seams, chimed in. "It's my turn!" She let go of Jasper's hand and hugged Bella. When she let go, she held Bella's hands. "Bella, Bella, I love you! It's really as simple as that. You're my sister. You are the best friend I could ever imagine. There's nothing to discuss. You're perfect for us."

"Thanks, Alice. I feel the same way about you, even though you try to replace all my clothes."

Carlisle cleared his throat and Bella turned to him. He smiled softly and gazed earnestly into her uncertain eyes. "Earlier, Alice said that you need to know that we won't abandon you again. I've already told you that I won't leave you, unless you ask me to." His smile broadened. "Even then, you'll have to ask more than once and really convince me that you want me to leave."

"I won't."

"Good. Now, let me see if I can tell you why Alice, Jasper, and I can be so sure that we won't leave you or allow you to leave us. Unless, of course, that should become what you truly want to do. Jasper already made a good start, as did Alice. So I'll just add that you have become necessary to my life as well. I value your unique insights and your thoughts. I enjoy your company and your presence. I can't imagine our lives without you, nor do I want to."

Bella didn't have a chance to answer. Emmett was the next in line around the table and he delivered his pronouncement with great enthusiasm. "I never wanted to leave you here the last time. Hell, little sister, we need to stick together no matter what. Nobody's gonna break us up again. Once you're like us, and vampire extreme sports won't break you, we're gonna have some good times! You, little one, will be the newborn I can take."

"I don't think so. Once I'm not tripping over my own feet, you're gonna be the one in trouble."

"No way. You're so going to be toast." Emmett laughed and turned to his wife. "Babe, tell Bella how you really feel."

Rosalie sighed and her beautiful brow furrowed. "Bella, you know I've never hated you. I do hate the thought of you throwing away your humanity. If it was me, that's something I would never willingly let go of, I would cherish it so much. But I realize I can't make your choice for you. It hurts me to see you do it, but my family wants you with us for eternity, no matter the cost to you. Apparently, you make my family happy."

Emmett gave Rosalie a loud kiss. "See, Bella, what makes the family happy, makes Rose happy by default. So, you make Rose happy."

Rosalie swatted Emmett on the back of the head. "Ow, babe. And when Rose is violent, it means she loves you."

Esme smiled sweetly. "I've told you that I already consider you a part of our family. No one can be certain of what the future holds, not even Alice. But I do know that not only are you already part of this family, you are permanently in my heart and I treasure you, dear. I will do everything I can to make sure no one hurts you, and that includes all of us at this table. I will never just disappear again, no matter who should ask it of me."

Before Edward could speak, Carlisle turned back to Bella. "Now that Alice's reassurances have been voiced would you like to get back to the original reason for this meeting?"

"Okay." Bella took a deep breath. "I've given this a lot of thought. I've realized that I love Edward as a friend and nothing more than that. I told him so repeatedly. He agreed and promised me that we could just be friends. But as you saw, he decided to go back on his word in front of all of you. We wouldn't be here now, but-"

"Bella," Edward interrupted. "You know I love you. If you can't love me in a romantic sense, then I'll honor your friendship. I promise I will stop trying to push you for more."

Alice broke the tense silence that followed Edward's promise. "Edward, you know I had hoped that you and Bella would be a couple. But, I've had visions. I won't be more specific, you all know how it works. Sometimes I can't give details because I've seen that giving the details would be destructive. But trust me, it will be best if you and Bella can become comfortable as nothing more than friends. And it won't just be best for Bella, Edward, it will be best for you too."

"You know I trust your visions, Alice. I know I don't have any right to argue for Bella's mortality, but-"

Carlisle cut across Edward and spoke with quiet authority. "That matter has already been decided, Edward."

Edward scowled, but said no more on the subject. He focused on Bella. "Like you said, Bella, we never really progressed to being more than friends, anyway. There must be a reason for that. I like you, I enjoy talking to you. Your quiet mind is so peaceful for me. I do want to be your friend. Maybe that's what I really wanted all along and I just didn't realize it. I guess I thought that if I could tie you to me in some way deeper than friendship, that you'd always be there, I'd always have that peace. Then, I left you. The irony is not lost on me. I only wanted what I thought was best for you, Bella. I'm sorry. l think you may be right. I don't know why I couldn't see it. I do want to be your friend."

Bella's tone was serious. "I hope you mean that, Edward."


	4. Fun

_The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment and anyone else who may legally claim ownership. No copyright infringement is intended._

 **Chapter 2: Enlightenment**

Charlie appeared disapproving as Bella entered the kitchen Saturday morning. "Headed to the Cullen's again, Bells?"

"I'm not going to their house today, Dad." She poured herself a cup of coffee. "They rented an ice skating rink. We're playing hockey." Bella laughed.

"Well, that's..." Charlie's brow crinkled as he struggled for words, "…just be careful, Bells, you know you tend to get banged up when you try a new sport."

Bella smiled. "I get pretty badly banged up when I play an old sport too. Don't worry, Edward doesn't want me to play."

"I thought you broke up with Edward?"

"Yeah, Dad, I did. He's still my friend, though. He really doesn't think I should skate at all." She looked resigned. "It's just easier not to argue with him."

Charlie gestured to the new pair of skates hanging from the strap of Bella's backpack. "Then, what're the skates for?"

"Alice bought them for me. She's optimistic. Even though Edward refuses to let me on the ice, she insists I'll get a chance. I kind of hope she's right. I mean, I know I'll injure something." She laughed ruefully. "But it's my body to injure, right? If I want to try then I should try, shouldn't I?"

"Of course, you should, kiddo, you just be careful."

"And you be careful fishing. Don't drink too much beer and fall in."

"I would never do that... again."

They both laughed, but their levity was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"I'll get it, Bells, you finish up your coffee."

Instead, Bella emptied it in the sink and quickly filled the cup with soap and water, leaving it to tend to when she got home. In the living room, she found her father laughing with Alice. "Okay, what are you two laughing about? Not me skating, I hope."

"Never," Alice assured her. "We need to go now." She took Bella's hand and skipped down the steps.

Bella hesitated when she saw only two of the Cullen's cars parked on her street.

"You're either in the Mercedes with Carlisle, or you can ride with Jasper and me. Edward and Rosalie got into a race to Seattle, so those are your only choices."

Carlisle gracefully exited the driver's side of the Mercedes and circled the car, at human speed, to hold the passenger door open. As he wasn't expected at the hospital, his professional comb back was nowhere in sight. Instead, his blond hair swept casually over the side of his face when he moved. He was dressed in low rise, skinny jeans. His shirt tails were peeking out from below his form-fitting black cashmere pullover. Bella's heart skipped a beat as her gaze fell to his open French cuffs. He had forgone cufflinks and the interior of his wrists were exposed. Carlisle's voice drew her attention. "I suggest that you choose me." He made eye contact with her and gave her an enticing smile. "If you want to keep a hold on your sanity, that is."

They both looked at Alice as she stuck her tongue out at Carlisle. "I suppose you should take Carlisle up on his offer, Bella. If you ride with us in Edward's Aston, I'll be riding on Jasper's lap, and I know how nervous that can make some people."

Carlisle laughed. "Not nervous, Alice, I know you wouldn't drive to endanger anyone."

"But it is really annoying," Bella added, turning to Carlisle and giving him a grateful smile. "Thank you, Carlisle, I'd love to ride with you." Over her shoulder, she flashed Alice a cheeky grin.

Carlisle held his hand out to Bella. A pretty pink blush crept across her face as she took it. His old world manners always made her feel like all of his attention was centered solely on her. Her natural instinct to blush when she was the center of attention never failed, it was something she usually hated. However, in Carlisle's case, she found that she didn't mind it as much. His attention was something she inexplicably found herself craving, if a blush was the result, she'd endure it.

Once they were backing onto the road, Bella turned to Carlisle and asked, "Aren't you going to join the race?"

They both looked to where the back of the Aston was disappearing in the distance. Obviously, Jasper and Alice had decided to try to catch up with Rosalie and Edward. "I would," Carlisle replied with amusement in his soft melodic voice, "on most occasions. But today, I would prefer to prolong my time with my lovely passenger." His warm gaze swept over Bella. It was appreciative without being intrusive.

Carlisle's appraisal made her very glad that she had worn the outfit Alice had laid out for her. Instead of the jeans and sweatshirt, she had planned to wear, she was wearing a long sleeved dress. It sported a knee-length full sweep skirt with matching leggings. Her entire ensemble was a soft, ice blue. Alice told her the fabric would keep her warm, and more importantly, it would flow beautifully as she learned to skate. She had reminded Alice that Edward wouldn't allow her to skate, but Alice had ignored that. Her thoughts were interrupted by Carlisle's voice.

"We never finished our discussion last night."

"No, we didn't."

They dove right back into a heated debate over the merits of relational art verses non-relational art. By the time they reached the skating rink in Seattle, they had agreed that both types of art had equally as much to offer.

Carlisle opened the car door for Bella and held out his hand to her, engendering a shy smile and another soft blush. They glanced at the subdued people on the street beyond and entered the rink quietly, laughing over how much importance people were still putting on last month's Seahawks' Superbowl loss. Their laughter ceased when they noticed a minor battle in progress.

"You forgot them, Alice, you go replace them!" Edward insisted belligerently.

Jasper shook his head and smiled. Looking at Edward, he spoke, "You might as well take Emmett and go the sporting goods store. It's no good tryin' to argue with Alice."

Alice bounced up and kissed Jasper on the cheek, before turning to Emmett. "Get going. Now!"

"What's going on?" Carlisle asked.

"Alice forgot the pucks," Emmett supplied. "We're headed out to get some now."

"Just a minute," Edward growled. Edward stormed over to where Bella stood beside Carlisle. He took her hand and pulled her to a row of stands behind the shield. He was clearly upset when she wouldn't meet his eyes. "I want you to stay right here. This is really no place for you at all. I don't know what Alice was thinking by bringing you. It's not safe for you. We can't play at," he dropped his voice, even though the building was empty except for the Cullens, "vampire speed, or the ice would be destroyed. But we're still faster and harder than humans. So you need to stay right here for your own safety."

Alice's voice was like the tinkling of ice in fine crystal as she called out from across the rink. "Stop being silly, Edward. Bella is fine. Just go."

Edward spun to face Alice. "You would have had her skating!"

"Of course, I would! There's no reason she can't learn to skate if she wants to."

"She'd get hurt!" Edward seethed.

"Maybe," Alice returned, "but it should be up to her if she wants to or not. Besides, we all have pretty fast reflexes. She wouldn't get seriously hurt."

"She didn't even bring the skates you bought for her, Alice. She obviously doesn't want to skate." Edward huffed in exasperation and called over his shoulder to Emmett. "I'm going to get the pucks now. You coming?"

"I'm with you, bro," Emmett replied.

As Edward and Emmett left and the others began unpacking their supplies, Carlisle moved to where Bella was seated. He leaned casually on the barrier in front of her. His voice was soft and concerned as he spoke to her. "Why didn't you tell him you brought your skates?"

Bella shrugged and looked at the floor.

"Isabella," Carlisle's voice was soft. His tone drew her eyes to him. "May I see your skates?"

She shrugged again. "Sure." She had put them in her backpack in the car, so they wouldn't damage the luxurious leather upholstery. She took them out and handed them to Carlisle.

He pretended to examine them for a minute and then he dropped to his knees in front of Bella. Before she could ask what he was doing, he looked up at her through the shimmering flaxen locks that had fallen over his eyes when he knelt. She couldn't help but smile at the boyish charm he was exuding. "Isabella." His voice was playfully beseeching as he held her skates up. "Will you skate with me?"

That drew Bella out of the cheerlessness Edward's words had created. She laughed merrily at Carlisle's antics. "I shouldn't, it will make Edward mad."

There was an innocent plea in Carlisle's eyes as they gazed earnestly into hers.

"Okay, Carlisle." Her voice was full of laughter. "I'll try to skate with you. But, I must warn you, I'm a hazard even without sharp blades on my feet."

"It's a chance I'm willing to take." He smiled winningly. "May I?" he asked, indicating her skates.

Her laughter subsided and she nodded her assent. In mere seconds, Carlisle had her skates on her feet and her sneakers tucked under her seat. He stood and offered her his hand. She took it wordlessly and allowed him to lead her to the edge of the ice.

Her face was wreathed in wonder. "You didn't dazzle me."

Carlisle stopped moving. "What do you mean?"

"You wanted me to do something and you looked me in the eyes. But you didn't dazzle me." She gestured between their eyes and slipped a little.

Carlisle steadied her by her elbows and waited for her to continue.

"When Edward wants me to agree to something, he looks me in the eyes and I really don't have a choice. I'm compelled do what he wants. I call it dazzling me. But when you looked in my eyes, you didn't do that." Bella waited as Carlisle considered what she had told him.

Carlisle was obviously appalled. "Do you mean that Edward uses vampiric allure to persuade you to bend to his wishes?"

"No, he just, he somehow convinces me to do what he wants with his eyes."

"Isabella." Carlisle's voice was soft and caring. "We all have to use that power to help us keep our world secret. Sometimes we use it for the good of others, as well. But no one in our family uses that ability for self-serving purposes." Carlisle's voice changed as he thought about what Edward had done to Bella. He was clearly outraged. "For Edward to do such a thing, to someone he professes to care about, is unthinkable. It is abhorrent." Carlisle stopped and took an unnecessary breath, as he visibly calmed himself.

"He doesn't use it on me all the time." Bella rushed to reassure Carlisle. "I don't mind it when Edward does it, not really. I'm used to it. It's just that you were so very different. You convinced me to skate, when I had absolutely no intention of it, and you did it without dazzling me."

Carlisle leaned down to Bella. His ardent whisper caused his breath to caress Bella's cheek. "I do not want you to skate if you don't want to."

"I do want to skate. I really wanted to all along. I was holding back because of Edward. I'm glad you convinced me."

Carlisle didn't look like he believed her.

"I really am glad you asked me to skate. I'd hoped that I'd get a chance." Her voice had become impassioned. "That's why I brought the skates Alice gave me. Even though Edward was clear about not wanting me to skate, I wanted to. I still want to. I only said anything because I was confused. I don't understand why you didn't just dazzle me like Edward does."

"I find dazzling, as you call it, to be highly offensive when it's used in a personal relationship. It is disrespectful, and that's putting it mildly. Truthfully, I believe it is the utmost in cruelty to use that power to take away the will of someone you hold dear. How can there be any respect, any trust, in a relationship where both people aren't entitled to their own thoughts, their own opinions, beliefs and desires? To dazzle someone is the worst kind of violation. I had no idea that Edward would do such a thing. Had I known I would have intervened. I would never allow someone to use you like that." Carlisle noticed that his vehemence was making Bella uncomfortable. He gave her a small smile. "Please, forgive me, it's a topic I feel strongly about."

"There's nothing to forgive. It's part of what makes you such a good person, Carlisle. I love your passionate concern for people."

"You are always so gracious, Isabella," Carlisle intoned softly.

Bella smiled. She had always hated it when anyone used her full name. Carlisle had changed that. It was practically sinful the way his voice and accent seemed to venerate her name. When he called her Isabella, it felt as something warm and wonderful was trailing down her spine, making her feel all sorts of things that she was not yet ready to admit to herself.

Carlisle smiled and released Bella's elbows. He ghosted his fingers down her forearms to take her hands again.

Instantly, Bella's brain stopped relishing the way Carlisle said her name. She was utterly enthralled by the feel of Carlisle's fingers on her sensitive forearms. It was intoxicating even through the soft fabric of her sleeves. She had to suppress a delighted shiver at the feel of his touch.

"Shall we skate, then?" he asked with a charming grin.

His playfulness had returned and Bella couldn't help but flash him a nervous smile. "Yes!" Her tone left no room for Carlisle to doubt her genuine desire to skate.

Carlisle led Bella to the center of the rink; she was very wobbly but she didn't fall.

"Don't be afraid," Carlisle spoke encouragingly. "You will fall, everyone does." He flashed her a disarming grin and continued in a conspiratorial tone. "I've heard that I have amazingly fast reflexes, I won't let you get hurt."

"I trust you, Carlisle."

"Good. Now, just get your footing." He let go of her hands.

"Carlisle!"

"You'll learn faster if I don't hold on to you. You won't get a feel for your own balance if I'm too close to you, your skating space will be compromised." At the look of fear on Bella's face, Carlisle glided the small distance to her side and took her right hand in his left. "Maybe if I hold just one of your hands it won't slow your learning down too much."

"Slow is good. I like slow." Bella smiled.

"Okay, slow it is." Carlisle smiled in pleased indulgence.

They skated slowly side by side. In the middle of their third circuit around the rink, Bella's feet slipped out from under her. She flailed for balance but that only made it worse. The ice was rushing up to meet her. She squeezed her eyes shut. The impact never came. When she opened her eyes, she found herself held securely in Carlisle's arms. She blinked at him in confusion for a moment. Her confusion quickly dissolved into laughter. Carlisle's chuckle joined her laughter as he stood; in one fluid vampiric motion, he had them on their feet again.

Neither Carlisle nor Bella realized how long they had been skating. Bella barely noticed when the others joined them on the ice. They stayed on the opposite side of the rink, to give Bella room to learn. Bella was unaware of Alice taking a call from a frustrated Edward, she didn't hear her explain to him that if none of the stores in Seattle had any pucks he and Emmett would have to keep going until they found some. She also didn't hear Rosalie complain that she wanted to play hockey, that she knew Alice had intentionally left the pucks behind, and that she also knew Alice had bought out all the pucks in the greater Seattle area to give Bella time to skate. Neither did she see Esme hand Rosalie money as Jasper and Alice skated off and completed a perfect pair spin. She was having way too much fun to pay any attention to them.

As Bella became more sure on her feet, she and Carlisle picked up a considerable amount of speed. Carlisle released her hand, and she laughed as she skated away from him and then back to him, again and again. The open smile on his face told her that he was having just as much fun. She loved the feeling of gliding on the ice. She sped up, skating away on her own. She skated into a turn, as with anyone new to skating the inevitable happened, she began a descent into a bad fall. Carlisle was too far away to reach out and catch her this time. She immediately realized that at the speed she had been skating, this fall was going to hurt.

Carlisle saw her begin to slip and he propelled himself towards her. He had to skate at almost vampiric speed to get to her in time, making it impossible to stop and simply catch her. Instead, he lowered himself to the ice and slid under her. He reached up and grasped Bella mid-fall drawing her to him and tucking her safely into his body. He shielded her from harm as they spun and slid across the ice together. They finally came to a stop a few feet from the side, resting in a tangled heap of limbs. Bella looked into Carlisle's eyes, causing them to both give in to gales of laughter. They were so caught up in their amusement that they didn't hear the laughter of Esme, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper from the other side of the rink. Nor did they notice Edward and Emmett enter the rink with a bag of hockey pucks.

"Bella," Edward hissed. "Do I have to be with you twenty-four hours a day to keep you safe from yourself? I told you not to skate. I knew you'd have an accident. It was foolish to bring you here. I should never have let you come."

Emmett's booming voice echoed around the rink. "You took Carlisle down with you, good one, Bella!"

Carlisle's mirth was extinguished completely at the sight of Edward's enraged face. Carlisle disentangled himself from Bella and helped her to her feet. She was looking at Emmett as Edward stalked towards them. Carlisle watched silently as Edward grabbed Bella by the arm. He was not impressed with his son's attitude.

Bella struggled to free herself from Edward's grasp. "Edward, Alice invited me, not you. I didn't get hurt. I was just skating. Millions of humans do, you know."

Edward practically roared with fury. "None of those humans are as accident prone as you are. Do you have any idea how much I have done to keep you safe?" Edward shook Bella violently.

Carlisle was horrified by Edward's treatment of Bella. "Edward, you forget yourself!"

"Stay out of this, Carlisle! You let her skate." Edward glared at Alice and then his glare landed briefly on each of his family members in turn. "You all knew she shouldn't skate."

Bella tried vainly to pull her arm free of Edward's iron hold. "I was having a good time. Nothing happened."

Edward turned and pulled Bella against his side. "You were flat on the ice when I came in. Was that the result of nothing happening?"

"I'm just learning. I fell, everyone does-"

"You are not everyone, Bella. You are incredibly clumsy. You can barely walk without injuring yourself! Why would you try to ice skate when I told you not to?" Edward's face softened. "Bella, the thought of you injured, or worse... I can't risk that. You know how much you mean to me. You are my other half."

"No, Edward! You have to stop talking like that. I am not your other half. I'm your friend and nothing more. I won't even be that if you don't cut this out. It's not your risk. It's mine. Let me go!" She increased her efforts to free herself from his grasp. Edward allowed her to put about a foot between them but he still held her forearm in a bruising grip.

The authority in Carlisle's voice resonated in the silent rink. "She asked you to let her go. Release her, Edward. Now."

"This is none of your business, Carlisle!" Edward growled. He whipped around to face his creator, taking Bella with him. Her skate-clad feet slipped out from beneath her and a sickening snap echoed as her arm broke in Edward's grasp. At the realization that he had hurt Bella, Edward immediately let go of her. He didn't stop to think that there was still momentum from his turn when he released her. Bella flew to the side wall at an alarming speed. No one could get to her in time to prevent the impact. When she hit, chaos broke out.

A distraught Edward tried to run to Bella only to be thrown forcefully back by Carlisle as he passed him. Edward crouched and lunged at Carlisle who deflected him easily. Carlisle was at Bella's side without pause. "Jasper, Emmett, hold Edward," Carlisle ordered, his voice calm and authoritative. "Esme call 911. Alice, get my bag." All of this occurred in the blink of an eye. Carlisle brushed Bella's face with the back of his elegant fingers. "You're going to be fine, Isabella." He smiled reassuringly at her as he began his evaluation. Her airway was clear. Her breathing was fast, but her breath sounds were good. He carefully felt her neck and spine and found them injury free. She was bloody, but her external hemorrhaging wasn't enough to cause concern. The fracture of her arm could likewise be ruled out as life threatening. She didn't appear to have any other breaks. His vampire senses automatically checked her for internal bleeding. His preternatural sense of smell located bleeding in her abdomen, as well as in and around her head. Her blood pressure and pulse felt as expected to his sensitive fingers. He began a quick neurological check. Without taking his eyes off Bella, he accepted his bag from Alice. Carlisle looked in Bella's eyes. "You hit your head," he said gently as he cradled her to him, "and your side and arm were injured."

* * *

Bella woke slowly. She didn't open her eyes because her lids were too heavy. She tried to remember why. Vague memories floated to the surface of her mind in bits and pieces. She remembered the sound of approaching sirens and she remembered begging Carlisle not to leave her. He had held her hand and talked to her as he rode in the ambulance with her. She remembered Carlisle stroking her hair and maintaining eye contact with her as her clothes were cut off her body. She remembered becoming agitated during her scans because she couldn't see Carlisle when she was in the medical machinery. She remembered Carlisle promising someone a wing. She wondered why someone would need a wing, and how Carlisle could get one. She wondered if they'd been on a plane. She tossed her head in an attempt to clear it. She remembered Carlisle telling her that he had to scrub. She had clung to him. She remembered his whispered promise that it would be the only time he had to leave her. Awareness of her surroundings began seeping in. She could hear Carlisle on the phone, transferring money from an offshore account. She heard him sending it to a hospital in Seattle. The wing was a hospital wing. Had he donated a whole wing to a hospital in Seattle? She heard him end the call abruptly as someone entered the room.

"Carlisle." It was Edward speaking. "I-"

"Do not speak to me." Carlisle's voice was quiet and dangerous. Bella had never heard that tone from him before. "If it were not for Isabella, you would be banished, and your protection extended by the treaty with the Quileutes would be void. I will refrain from declaring your formal expulsion from our family until Bella recovers. Your fate lies entirely in her hands. Believe me, you do not deserve the reprieve her recovery will afford you. You almost killed her. If she had coded during transport or if she had died on the table **,** I could have done nothing to save her. I would have had to stand by and watch her life be extinguished." Carlisle's voice was utterly terrifying as he spoke each lethal word with quiet promise. "If you ever do anything to harm Isabella again, in any way, I will rip you apart and burn you to ash myself." There was a pause as Carlisle obviously tried to collect himself. "Since the day I was born I have never done violence to another for any reason other than defense. Neither have I understood how one person, or vampire, could wish to cause harm to another. Until tonight."

Silence prevailed for a few moments, broken by the sound of something being torn and crushed. "Edward Masen, you will never again wear my crest or use my name. You are disowned. I renounce you completely. You leave for Rochester immediately. You will keep yourself in the house in Rochester. You will not leave there except to hunt animals and return without delay. If Isabella should ask for you, I will send whichever member of my family can best tolerate the sight of you long enough to bring you back."

The sound of Edward slumping to the floor, tearlessly sobbing, was the only sound for an indeterminate amount of time.

Carlisle's tortured voice broke the silence. "I stood by while the inside of Isabella's body was explored in hopes of finding and repairing the damage you did to her before it could kill her."

Edward's voice was a broken whisper. "I'm so sorry."

"I almost... we almost... lost her. She almost died. How you will live with yourself, I do not know. But I do know this, you sicken me to the very core of my being. You who were my first made companion in this life, my son, my brother, my friend. Never have I felt so betrayed. Never have I felt such loathing for another being. I am beginning to wonder how you treated Isabella when you were pressing your suit for her. I discovered today that you employed supernatural coercion, which is in itself, heinous. If I discover that you have abused her in any other way I. Will. Destroy. You. This solemn oath I swear by God."

"Carlisle," Edward began pleadingly.

"No!" Carlisle interrupted him, his voice quiet and deadly. "Go, Edward. Go now, before I change my mind and I decide your fate here and now."

Bella heard the door close.

"Carlisle?" Her voice small and hoarse from the anesthesia.

Carlisle didn't bother with human speed; he was at Bella's side before she finished his name.


	5. Injury

_The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment and anyone else who may legally claim ownership. No copyright infringement is intended._

 **Chapter 5: Injury**

Charlie impatiently drummed his fingers on the counter. A nurse had gone to find out if it was okay for him to see Bella now. He noticed two hospital workers several feet down the hall from where he stood. His police training kicked in and he began listening to their gossip.

"You should see it," a female voice said in awe.

"When did they do it?" a second woman asked.

"A crew finished it a few hours ago. There were dozens of them. They stripped the whole conference room. They super-sanitized and disinfected absolutely everything. They did the whole nine yards and they did it in that short amount of time too. You could do surgery on that new floor in there. Then they brought in all sorts of new furniture and equipment. It's all brand new, right out of the packaging. And the bed." The worker gave a low whistle. "Not only has no one died in it before, but it's a lot nicer than any bed I've slept in. And if you remember, I spent a night at the Beverly Wiltshire when my cousin won the lotto. This room looks like the penthouse of a five-star hotel."

"The woman in there must be someone really famous."

"That's what's so weird, she's not. She's just someone from out in Forks. I heard her boyfriend on the phone. You must have seen him, the Greek God that won't leave her side. I think I heard someone call him Carlisle."

"The one that's a bit taller than six feet, the svelte, gorgeous blond haired guy that looks like he should be on the cover of _GQ_?"

"That's the one, anyway-"

Her companion cut her off. "You're wrong. He's not her boyfriend, he's her doctor."

"Like in personal physician? No way, really?"

"I'm sure. He's her doctor."

"Well, that explains why he's been given access to everywhere she's been in the hospital."

"I wonder if he's single."

"I don't care if he's married."

The women giggled.

"Ladies," an older masculine voice greeted the two women.

"How are you, sir?" the first who had spoken asked, obviously deferring to authority.

"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. You really should get the facts straight if you are going to gossip. Our new V.I.P. Suite has been in the planning stages for over a year. The patient currently occupying it was just the first one that got here when it was finished. We aren't going to leave it unoccupied just because there isn't currently a V.I.P. admitted to the hospital."

"Oh," she replied, clearly disappointed that the rumor mill had ground to a halt.

"Your speculations are much more interesting, but then, real life isn't really as intriguing as it ought to be. If you value your jobs you..."

The nurse reappeared, and Charlie shifted his attention from the conversation down the hall to her. "Go straight down there, your daughter is in a room on the right, the fourth door. The plaque on the door says 'authorized persons only'. Dr. Cullen is expecting you."

"I told you I was expected," Charlie griped.

* * *

Bella woke to the sound of a soft knock and a door opening. "How's she doing?" She heard her father ask apprehensively.

"Dad," she said, "I'm awake."

"Aw, Bells, what'd you do to yourself?"

Bella tried to sound completely healthy and normal. "I'm fine, Dad, really."

"Sure doesn't look that way," Charlie said gruffly.

"She'll make a full recovery, Charlie," Carlisle assured him. "There's no lasting damage." He gave Charlie a bracing smile.

"Well, that's something. I think I must have you to thank for that."

"Not at all," Carlisle said with aplomb. "I was in the room, but I didn't perform her surgery. Why don't I give you two some privacy and I'll fill you in on the specifics later?"

Carlisle smiled at Bella. "I'll be right over there, just across the room."

Charlie, although clearly uncomfortable, took Bella's hand and gave it a squeeze. His voice was rough. "I got here as soon as I could. I had to wait for someone to come in that could stay long enough for me to get out here."

"I'm okay, really. You didn't have to do that. I'm being taken care of."

Charlie glanced around the immense room. "As long as the doctors are as good as the building, you must be. You sure lucked out, Bells. I hear you're the first patient to stay in this room. It really does look like a five-star hotel."

"Yeah, Dad, if your hotel is equipped with all sorts of sinks, sanitizers, and beeping machinery."

"Well, I've never seen anything like this in a hospital before. It does have some pretty high tech stuff, though, doesn't it? This place looks like a combination of luxury hotel and something out of a medical scene from a science fiction movie."

"Yeah, no super germs in here." Bella grimaced in pain.

Carlisle was instantly by her side. "Isabella, where?" he asked simply.

Charlie thought it seemed like they'd had this conversation before.

"My side, it's nothing."

"On a scale of one to ten?"

"Manageable."

Carlisle looked at her pointedly.

She sighed. "An eight, maybe."

"Will you allow me to give you some medicine, now?"

"No. I want to be clear-headed."

"Bells," Charlie chastised gently. "If the doc thinks you need something, you should take it."

Charlie looked to Carlisle for confirmation. Bella looked down at her hands.

Carlisle spoke softly. "Charlie, it's Bella's body. She is in control of what she wants to do." At Charlie's skeptical look, he hastened to address Charlie's unspoken concern. "You don't need to worry. I was only asking about pain medication, her refusal will in no way slow her recovery."

Charlie's misgivings were apparent on his face. "I don't want you hurting, Bells."

"Don't worry, Dad, I'll take the medication if it gets to be too much."

"See that you do."

Noticing how haggard Charlie looked, Carlisle moved a plush armchair to the side of Bella's bed. "Please, Charlie, sit down."

Charlie settled into the oversized chair gratefully.

Carlisle flipped open his cell phone and pushed a single button.

Before any conversation could begin again, Alice came into the room, her demeanor unusually subdued.

Carlisle spoke softly. "Alice, the Chief has had a difficult drive and a long night of worrying before that, can you bring him something to eat and drink, please?"

Alice nodded to Carlisle. "Hi, Charlie."

"Hey, Alice." He turned to Carlisle. "That's nice of you, but I'm fine."

"Dad, you need to eat. Don't make me worry about you." Bella tried to smile again, but it was pained.

Carlisle's voice became beseeching as he approached Bella's side. "Isabella, please allow me to give you some pain medication. It sounds like your father has his work covered. I'm sure he'll be here when you wake up."

Charlie smiled at Bella. "That I will, kiddo. Come on now, you do what the doc says, and I'll let Alice get me something to eat."

Bella looked around Carlisle. "Alice! I saw that."

Alice had pushed the button on Bella's Morphine pump.

"Charlie has seen you, so he's satisfied that you'll live. You need pain medication. Even I can see that. You can make your own decisions when they're the right ones," Alice pronounced with a triumphant smile. "Now close your eyes and get some rest. You know Carlisle will be right here with you. He won't leave you." She turned and smiled at Charlie. "And, while you rest, I'll take Charlie somewhere nicer than a hospital room to eat. When you wake up, we'll both be back."

"Alice," Carlisle admonished, his voice quiet but nonetheless authoritative. "Do not ever presume to take Isabella's choices from her again." He didn't elaborate. The look he gave Alice was enough.

"Oh! I'm sorry, Carlisle. I thought I was helping."

"I know you did," Carlisle said gently. "But I find it distressing to think that you could so easily disregard another's freedom of choice."

"I didn't think of it like that." Alice sounded honestly contrite. "I won't do it again." She turned her attention to Bella. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

"It's okay, Alice," Bella smiled weakly.

Charlie spoke up, "You're a good girl, Alice."

Alice beamed at him and took his arm. Bella was asleep before the door closed behind them.

* * *

Alice and Charlie returned to find a nurse hovering by Bella's door. "Why don't you both wait in here until the doctor is finished," she ordered, opening a door beside Bella's room for them.

Charlie and Alice both stared in amazement. One wall held a large rectangle of one-way glass. They could clearly see into Bella's room. "Doesn't Bella get any privacy?" Charlie grumbled.

Alice was clearly annoyed by the work crew's oversight. "I didn't know this was here. I'll cover it as soon as we can get into Bella's room."

"I'm sure she'll appreciate that, Alice."

Alice could hear Carlisle consulting with another doctor while Bella slept. The doctor was asking Carlisle's advice about the treatment of one of his patients. Charlie's worried expression prompted Alice to volunteer some information. "Don't worry, Charlie, they aren't talking about Bella. Dr. Clinton is getting Carlisle's advice about how to treat one of his patients. He's not Bella's doctor. Carlisle's advising him in Bella's room because when emergency services were called she asked Carlisle not to leave her. He promised her that he wouldn't leave her. He takes his promises very seriously. He won't leave her, not for a minute, so Dr. Clinton came to him here."

"Huh." Charlie's expression was contemplative. "Carlisle does a lot of that, helping other doctors?"

Alice answered absently. "Yeah, all over the country, sometimes in other parts of the world."

Carlisle was in the outfit he wore to go skating instead of his usual work clothes. Charlie studied Carlisle silently. "He looks awfully young."

Everyone usually believed Carlisle's presumed age without question. His clothes, mannerisms, degrees, and experience all added to the illusion. Recently, Alice had seen a vision where some people at Forks Community Hospital overheard Emmett teasing Carlisle about his age, his human age of twenty-three. After that vision, she and Jasper had preemptively changed all of Carlisle's records and documents to make him twenty-three. She thought that if her vision came to pass, and the hospital administration tried to verify any of Carlisle's information, it would be best if they didn't find anything amiss. If that vision failed to happen no one would look at his records, so it didn't matter.

Alice realized she needed to respond to Charlie's comment about Carlisle's youth. After all, as the chief of police, even in a small town like Forks, he had access to everyone's records. "Carlisle graduated from Medical school at sixteen. After his internship, they realized he was a true prodigy. His residency was accelerated. He was made an attending at nineteen, as well as becoming a full member of the American College of Surgeons and The American College of Emergency Physicians too." She paused and smiled thoughtfully. "He's a bit of a medical genius. He tries to look older. He's sensitive about his age. Normally, he won't set foot in a hospital without trying to appear older. But he came here in the ambulance with Bella, right from the skating rink. He didn't have time to change into his old man clothes."

Charlie's brow furrowed. "He's such a good doctor. Alice, how old is he? How much experience does he really have?"

"Well, we started this conversation discussing what a well-respected doctor he is, and you've known him for a couple of years. How many lives do you know of that Carlisle has saved?"

Charlie was thoughtful. "He's saved a lot of lives in Forks."

"Being a fair-minded man, I bet you'll judge him by his abilities and not his age," Alice smiled beguilingly.

"You don't need to give me that look, Alice. You know how much I respect Dr. Cullen. I'm just curious."

"Since when is the Chief of Police ever just curious?"

Charlie laughed ruefully. "This time."

Alice smiled. "Carlisle is twenty-three."

Charlie couldn't hide his amazement. "Twenty-three?"

"Yes, but please, Charlie, don't spread that around. It makes him extremely uncomfortable. Everyone assumes he's older, and he just has a baby face." Alice's next words were spoken slowly and with emphasis. "His age doesn't make him any less competent."

"Yeah, I guess not. I can see for myself that older doctors come to him for help. He certainly acts more mature than twenty-three, I would never have guessed his age. I'm like everyone else, I just assumed that he was older because he's such a good doctor." Charlie scratched his chin in thought. "How does a guy that young parent kids that are almost the same age he is?"

"He doesn't parent us. He provides for us. He cares for us like we care for him. He does his best for us. Like a big brother. But our real parental figure is Esme."

"He married an older woman."

"No!" Alice laughed. "Carlisle isn't married. That's just a small town's assumption. Esme is Carlisle's older sister. She doesn't have a family of her own; but, she's a natural mother. She just took us in. Because she and Carlisle have the same last name, and they're both our emergency contacts at school, everyone assumed they were married."

"Any more skeletons in the Cullen closet?" Charlie joked.

"I think that's enough for now, don't you?" Alice's openness and ready laughter put Charlie's mind at ease.

Charlie nodded. "Carlisle's a good doctor. He's a good man. It must have been hard on him."

"His life has been hard at times." Alice's genuine fondness for Carlisle was obvious. "But he loves helping people so much. He focuses on that. I'm pretty sure he must have been that way even as a small child."

"It shows."

They watched as Dr. Clinton shook Carlisle's hand, obviously grateful for his input. When the other doctor was gone, they watched as Carlisle sat beside a sleeping Bella. They saw him take her hand in his while his other hand gently smoothed the hair off her forehead. Their quiet observation was interrupted by the nurse appearing in the doorway and telling them that they could go into Bella's room now.

* * *

When Bella woke she saw Carlisle, Alice and Charlie seated together on a leather sectional, talking quietly. They were discussing taxes. It was a common topic at this time of year, there were only six days left to get them in on time. Her eavesdropping was interrupted by a knock on her door. Alice rose to open it. She watched as Jacob pushed Billy's wheelchair into the room.

Bella looked at Carlisle who caught her eye. He knew that she was awake. She tried desperately to send him an unspoken message, to go along with her pretense of sleep. His eyes sparkled as he gave her a small secret smile, which she returned before closing her eyes.

Alice pretended not to notice their byplay and wrinkled her nose at the newcomers who were now asking Charlie about Bella's health.

Bella heard Charlie tell the Blacks about her broken forearm, partial splenectomy, and subdural hematoma. Carlisle had already explained her condition to her upon her first post-surgical awakening. She knew her subdural hematoma was not serious. It was just being watched to make sure it remained that way. She knew she'd make a full recovery from the exploratory surgery that had resulted in the removal of a portion of her spleen, which would regenerate with time. Her cracked ribs were no real concern; they hadn't punctured any of her organs. Her broken arm would mend and all her lacerations and contusions would heal.

Everyone who hadn't been at the ice skating rink assumed she had managed to cause this harm to herself. She had convinced Carlisle and the family not to tell anyone that Edward had been the cause. They acquiesced only after she explained that she really couldn't handle dealing with the fallout if people, especially Charlie, knew Edward had hurt her, even accidentally. Considering her vast medical history, everyone she had encountered so far had assumed the skating accident had been the result of her own clumsiness. Had that not been true, she knew Billy Black would try to find some way to blame the Cullens. She didn't have the energy to deal with him now, so she continued to feign sleep. After about half an hour, she heard Billy and her dad head to the cafeteria for coffee.

Jacob laughed. "You can open your eyes now, Bella."

She opened her eyes to find Jacob hovering near her head. "You knew I was faking?"

"Yeah, it was obvious, you know you're a terrible actress. Don't worry, though, you were good enough to fool our dads."

"I can't be that bad if it's only your werewolf senses that can't be fooled."

Jacob's voice was teasingly solemn. "I'm a shape shifter, Bella, not a werewolf. Get it straight." They laughed as Carlisle and Alice seated themselves across the room and began going over some paperwork.

Jacob turned serious. "So, Bella, you gonna tell me what happened?"

"You know me, Jake." She smiled a bit too brightly.

"Yeah, I do. So, I know when there's something you're trying to avoid telling me."

"I was at the ice rink, and I was skating really well for a beginner." Her pride in her skating was obvious in her eyes.

"Yeah, you on ice, huh? I wish I'd seen that. So, if you were doing so good, how'd you end up in here?"

"I decided to become acquainted with the wall." She gave Jake a look that she hoped would end his line of inquiry.

"Who introduced you to the wall?"

Bella hedged. "Oh, we're old friends. That wall and I go way back."

"You're not gonna tell me?"

They engaged in a silent, albeit brief, battle of wills.

Jacob huffed in annoyance. "Okay, I'll tell you. Your bloodsucker boyfriend-"

Bella cut across Jacob. "Edward isn't my boyfriend." Her tone was sharp with finality. "We decided that we want to be friends but nothing more."

"Yeah? Like you and me, friends, good friends, but no romantic stuff?" Jake asked bitterly.

Bella's voice was soft with understanding. "Yeah, like that."

"Hmm. So, is that why he threw you into a wall?"

"Jake, no! It was an accident!"

Jacob's voice deepened with fury. "That leech caused this. He put you in here." It wasn't a question.

"Jake, show some respect," Bella admonished.

"Don't worry about us, Bella," Alice's bell-like voice quipped. "He's all bark."

"I wasn't talking to you, Leechette." Jacob reigned in his fury, his full attention back on Bella. "Dad and I stopped by to see how you were earlier. We didn't want to interrupt. We were in that room, waiting to see you." Jacob pointed to the glass square on the wall.

"Oh!," Alice exclaimed. "I need to cover that." She moved quickly out of the room.

"What's Alice doing?" Bella asked.

Jacob answered. "That's a one-way mirror, you can see into this room from the room beyond it, and if you're not simply human, you can hear everything too. We were here...earlier."

Carlisle looked up at Jacob. "I knew you were there but I didn't notice when you arrived. I was a bit preoccupied."

"Yeah, I didn't think you guys ever missed anything."

"Not usually, but if we become focused on something, it's possible."

"Good to know, I'll remember that," Jacob smirked.

Carlisle's tone was soft and sad. "What did you hear, Jacob?"

Jacob's jovial taunting immediately ceased. "I heard everything you said to the filthy leech that did this to her!" Jacob's anger at Edward was undisguised. "No offense, Dr. Fang, you defended Bella. You took good care of her. Even my dad was impressed with you. He never thought he'd see one of you take the side of a human over one of your own."

"Then in that, Billy Black and I are in accord. Edward's actions are inexcusable."

Bella's voice was soft. "Carlisle, we need to talk about Edward."

"Can it wait until you are better?" Carlisle asked gently.

Bella sighed.

Carlisle hurried to add, "Of course, if waiting will cause you stress, then we should talk now. I don't want you to put any more stress on your healing body than is absolutely necessary. Although, it would be best if you could put it out of your mind, just until you have healed."

"There's nothing to talk about, " Jacob interrupted. He looked at Carlisle. "It's just too bad you're such a pacifist. But don't worry, if I ever see..." Jacob stopped mid-sentence. "Our dads are back."

Billy and Charlie entered the room side by side, with Billy trying to run over Charlie's feet. "Bells, you're awake," Charlie observed.

* * *

Carlisle never left Bella's side. Rumors were averted because she had such a posh private suite. The staff assumed that anyone would rather eat in there than the cafeteria. The room's bathroom had been the topic of a lot of hospital gossip; it wasn't like any other facility in the whole building, possibly even all of Seattle. Any staff member would have been happy to care for Bella and never venture into the bleak utilitarianism of the rest of the hospital. They couldn't blame Dr. Cullen for taking advantage of the situation.

A nurse entered the room without knocking. Carlisle gave her a stern look as he accepted blood from her.

Bella groaned. "More blood?"

Carlisle hung the blood and smiled mischievously. "Someone must be pilfering yours when you're asleep."

She laughed. "Seriously, Carlisle, how much do I need?"

"Hopefully, this will be the last transfusion you will need." He sat on the edge of her oversized bed, near her waist, and spoke seriously. "You will need immunizations before you are released. You'll be prone to catching anything that comes along for a while. Right now you have no sign of a bacterial infection, so that's good."

"This is pretty serious, then?"

"Not overly, they didn't have to take that much of your spleen. In a while, it should compensate on its own. Until then, we just need to take precautions. If you should catch the flu," he said with a devastating smile, "you have your own personal physician to care for you night and day."

She smiled. "Thank you, Carlisle, for all you're doing."

He leaned towards her and spoke in a long-suffering tone. "Well, I am reduced to performing the menial tasks that should be done by a mere nurse."

"Carlisle!" Bella laughed. "I'm serious. You took time off from the hospital, you-"

He covered her lips with his fingers and whispered, "I know you were serious, Isabella." Her heart stuttered at the way his voice seemed to cherish her name. Coming from his lips it was almost a caress. His British vowels made themselves known in his soft tone as he continued speaking. "There is no need to thank me. I wish I could change what happened. I would do anything to keep you from being hurt in any way. But caring for you, that is a singular pleasure. There is no need for thanks. I am here because I want to be. You mean so much to me... to us. His hand slid to cup her jaw affectionately and his thumb began softly brushing back and forth over her cheekbone. She unconsciously leaned into the contact and closed her eyes. "Sleep now," he said, his voice blanketing her in its warmth. "I will be right here with you."

* * *

Bella opened her eyes to the whirlwind that was Alice, accompanied by Jasper. Only this time the wind smelled like food. The tantalizing aroma of chocolate wafted to her.

Alice started taking food out of a bag. "So, now that you can eat solid food, I've brought you some award winning offerings from one of Seattle's best. We have a tarte flambée to start."

Jasper's smile was a bit strained as he drawled, "For us Americans, that's a bacon, onion and cheese tart."

Alice glared at him playfully before continuing. "Salade aux betteraves et noissetes-"

"Salad with beets, hazelnuts, and blue cheese." Jasper interpreted helpfully.

"Coq au vin." Alice continued quickly before Jasper could interrupt her again. "And for dessert, terrine au chocolat followed by assiétte de fromages." Alice looked very pleased with herself.

"And that's, chicken, some sort of chocolate dessert and a cheese course." Jasper ducked as Alice swatted at him teasingly.

Carlisle smiled at Alice indulgently. "That sounds lovely, Alice, but I think Bella's system might do better with something a little less sophisticated to begin with."

Alice looked crestfallen. Jasper put his arm around her and pulled her to his side. "Now darlin', you know she'd love it if Carlisle would let her eat it."

Bella mustered an enthusiastic expression. "I really would, Alice, it smells wonderful. Maybe you could get it again when I'm well enough?"

Alice brightened, "Yes! As soon as you're given the medical okay to eat real food, I'll bring you everything again. I'm so sorry I tempted you with it before Carlisle would let you eat it."

Bella smiled. "That's okay, Alice. I'll have something to look forward to."

Jasper began putting the food back into the bag. "We brought enough for everyone on this floor. We left it in the hall. We'll just add yours to it, and Alice can feed the staff."

"See, Jazz," Alice chirped as they made their way out. "I told you that you'd be fine in a hospital."

When they were alone again, Carlisle sat on the edge of Bella's bed his eyes dancing with mirth. "You know you're going to have to eat that another day."

During one of Bella's last visits to the Cullen home she and Carlisle had gone for a long walk in the woods. They had discussed a wide range of topics, and somehow her dislike of French food had come up.

Bella sighed. "Do you think I can go back on a liquid diet?"

Carlisle chuckled. "I don't think that would be wise. Why don't I send Alice to get some vanilla yogurt and soft fruit for you?"

"Thanks, Carlisle," Bella smiled shyly. She was thoughtful for a moment. "Won't Alice feeding haute cuisine to the whole hospital floor draw unwanted attention to you?"

"Not really. They'll be thankful, perhaps there will be a little inter-hospital gossip about Alice's choice of food, but it won't be anything to be concerned about. Patient's families are always feeding the staff. It's how they express their gratitude."

"Charlie never did that, and I've been in the hospital a lot."

"Not to worry, it's usually a female family member who brings food. Speaking of your father, I talked to him while you were sleeping. How do you feel about getting out of here?"

"Really?" Bella's face shone with eagerness.

"You certainly aren't ready to be on your own yet, or to navigate your father's house. However, under my supervision, and with Alice's help, I think you'd be fine at our house."

"I don't want to impose."

"It would be no imposition.

"I suppose I already am imposing, with you and Alice being here all the time."

"You know that you are no imposition, either here or at home," Carlisle assured her sincerely. "I know you, Isabella Swan, you have a kind heart to a fault. You plan to force French food down so that Alice's feelings won't be hurt." His smile was knowing. "That's how I know you would never crush Emmett's feelings by not using the room he just built for you."

"Emmett built a room for me, at your house?"

"Of course, and Esme decorated it. Everyone wants to contribute to your recovery."

"Does Charlie know Emmett built a room for me?"

"He knows that a room was made ready for you, yes. You may be an adult, and you certainly don't need your father's permission, but I wanted to make sure he was included. Esme is giving him the grand tour now, I'm sure he'll be happier having you back in Forks, so he can spend more time with you. It's hard for him to get to Seattle and keep up with his work."

Bella bit her bottom lip. "I don't want to make things more difficult for Jasper. It isn't fair to him to have a human in the house for all that time."

"It won't be a problem for Jasper. His control has vastly improved. You just saw him in a hospital full of bleeding humans. It doesn't get much more tempting than that. However, if he feels challenged, he'll just go for a run and have a bite to eat in the forest."

"I can't put him out like that."

"Isabella, you will not be imposing or putting anyone out. Understand?"

"If you're sure?"

"I am."

The room's land line rang, ending their discussion. Carlisle smiled, lifted the receiver and handed it to Bella.

"Hello. I'm fine, Mom, really... Charlie was right, you don't need to come all the way out here. No. It's nothing serious..."

Carlisle rose to give Bella privacy to speak with her mother, but he was stopped by Bella grasping his hand. She gave him an apologetic look. He gave her a tender smile and allowed her to pull him back down beside her.

Bella woke slowly. She turned her head to face the window. It was twilight. Her room was insulated from the sounds of the rest of the hospital and Carlisle had turned the sounds off on all the medical machinery. A vampire doctor was much more aware of what was going on without the need of alarms than a human doctor with the aid of all the finest technology. At first, she thought all was quiet and then she realized there were voices in the distance. No, there were voices in her bathroom. She listened intently.

"There is absolutely no way-"

"Carlisle, she didn't mean it literally."

"I do not break my word. I promised Isabella that I won't leave her alone." There was a pause in their conversation. "She's awake."

Alice put her hand on Carlisle's arm to stop him from going immediately to Bella.

"What's this about, Carlisle? She knows you won't leave her. If what Edward did gave her abandonment issues she still won't expect you to stay glued to her side. You can go help Dr.-"

"No, Alice."

"She asked you not to leave her when she was in an ambulance. Don't you think she meant until she was out of danger?"

"This discussion is over."

"Fine. Let some inconsequential patient of Dr. Clinton's die. Why should you help them when Bella might need some Jello?"

Carlisle's tone was clearly upbraiding. "Alice!"

"I won't say anything more about it." Alice's tone was not pleased. "But there is something else, I think you need to think some things through, Carlisle."

Carlisle sighed. "What now, Alice?"

"Edward."

Carlisle's response was a feral growl.

"Exactly." Alice sounded triumphant.

Carlisle immediately looked abashed.

"I'm not criticizing you," Alice spoke with affection. "I just think you should figure out why you are reacting so strongly." She spoke cryptically before Carlisle could respond. "Not that there's anything wrong with it, there isn't. I, for one, am very happy about it!" She hopped up and kissed Carlisle on the cheek. In a voice so quiet Bella could barely make it out she added, "And I'm not the only one who is happy about it."

"Alice, what are you talking..." Carlisle trailed off as Alice had already left the bathroom.

"Bella," Alice's voice was all innocence. "You don't mind if Jazz and I sit with you while Carlisle scrubs in on a delicate surgery, do you?"

"Of course not." Bella caught Carlisle's eye. "Go save lives. I'm not an excuse for you to skive off."

Carlisle looked doubtful.

"Seriously, Carlisle, I can't be responsible for someone's death just because I want your company."

He crossed the room and was at her side with vampire speed. "Isabella, I can't be everywhere at once, and I can't save everyone. That's something I learned to live with a long time ago. I have to do what I can and walk away at the end of the day. Even I will burn out if I don't take time for myself, then I'll be no good to anyone."

"But you aren't burnt out right now, are you?"

Carlisle smiled. "No, I'm not."

She returned his smile. "Well then, that's good for the patient who needs your skill, Dr. Cullen."

"It is."

"When are you needed in surgery?" Bella asked as Alice slipped out of the room.

"Not for an hour at least. The patient has to be stabilized."

"Tell me."

Carlisle smiled and sat on the edge of Bella's bed.

"Tell you what?" he asked teasingly.

"Tell me about when you had a burn out."

Carlisle smiled. "It was during a Cholera epidemic in New York. I wanted to save as many as I could, but of course, I couldn't work twenty-four hours a day without attracting notice. I decided that I could be my own twin brother. I knew I couldn't get away with it in the same city. So, I took work in hospitals in both New York City and Boston. I ran back and forth between my two positions. I'd work as long as I could without raising suspicion at one place, and then I'd run to the next and do it all over again." Carlisle's smile was self-deprecating. "I was foolish and arrogant. With the Cholera in New York, I'd push fluids and Oral Rehydrating Salts on patients. I'd take vitals and declare deaths. In Boston, I was working mostly as I do now. I treated some illnesses but most of my work was caring for accidents and emergencies.

"I ran from city to city through the trees, deep enough in the forests that no human eyes could detect me, but I could still hear the road. On one of my commutes, there was a terrible carriage accident. I had to help. It was bad. There had been heavy rains and the roadside had given way under the vehicle. The carriage and horses were at the bottom of a ravine. One young man, who I presumed to be the driver, had been thrown. One of his legs was crushed under a dead horse. The other horse was injured and thrashing next to him. I had to break its neck to keep it from killing him. Then, I saw another man, who was already lost, his head was split open on a boulder, brain matter was evident. I was sure he died almost on impact. There was a little girl, no more than three or four, wandering and in shock. She seemed to have no more than a dislocated shoulder and broken arm. Then I saw a woman who had to be her mother. Her condition was quite grave. Not only was she seriously injured, but the accident had sent her into labor.

"For the man under the horse, the best I could do was an onsite amputation and cauterization. I had my bag but I had no medications left in it. I had planned to restock when I arrived in Boston. I built a fire and set to work. Fortunately, he passed out rather quickly. When that was done, I checked the woman. There was not much I could do for her, she had internal injuries. If I attempted a crude operation, it would have killed her. Those kinds of operations, especially back then, often did more harm than good in the best of circumstances. Being in labor there was no chance she would survive it. I did all that I could to stabilize the woman and I made her as comfortable as possible. I popped the little girl's shoulder in and set her arm with strips of fabric that I tore from my overcoat and a wooden splint made from the wreckage. The woman's labor was progressing, I helped her through it, I did all that could be done under those conditions. She gave birth to an uninjured girl. She barely saw her baby before she succumbed to her blood loss. During all the time that took, no one passed on the road above.

"There was a lot less traffic in those days. There were two good wheels and an axel that were undamaged. I was forced to craft a two-wheeled cart for the injured man. I knew the principle but I'm no craftsman. By the time it was ready, he had regained consciousness. I discovered that he was not the driver, he was the little girl's older brother. The two dead were their parents, his father had been driving. I found a stream, luckily my enhanced senses could tell that the water was clean. I gave them water and then we began the trek to Boston. I carried the cart and then them in turn to the top of the ravine. I pulled the cart with one hand and carried the baby. The young man held and comforted his sister on the long road to Boston."

Carlisle paused in thought for a few moments. "I thought I was doing good. I thought I was helping. When I got to the hospital with my patients from the road, I was congratulated. I had saved the young man's and the infant's lives. Of that, there was no doubt. Untreated the little girl would probably have died as well, from shock and exposure. I saved her too. But at what price? A patient I'd been caring for at the Boston hospital had died. If I had been there, I could have saved her. When I was in my office holding her death certificate, I realized that it wasn't my stop at the carriage accident that had caused her death. She died while I was ending my shift in New York. If I hadn't tried to hold both positions, she would have lived. My arrogance caused her death. But, it also saved the lives of others." Carlisle laughed bitterly. "How could I choose where to be, who to save? I left the hospital in a daze. I wandered north. After a few hours, the emotional pain and confusion got to be too much. I lashed out. I took out almost a whole forest with my undirected rage. When I was spent, I sat in the middle of the wreckage. I blamed God. I blamed the vampire race. Mostly, I blamed myself. If only I were smarter, more dedicated, less flawed..."

Carlisle looked down as Bella took his hand in hers. He was temporarily mesmerized by the sight of their joined hands. He twined his fingers with hers and studied the perfection of their joining.

He continued looking at their hands as he began to speak again. "It was a long time later that my friend Eleazar tracked me. He brought me game, he forced me to drink it. He sat with me and talked me back from the brink."

Carlisle looked into Bella's eyes. "I came out of that personal crisis knowing that even a vampire has to take the time to take care of himself in order to care for others. If I give everything away, then I have nothing left to give. I won't even be able to make sense of myself, and if I can't make sense of myself, then I can't make sense of others or the world around me."

"What did you do, after Eleazar fed you physically and spiritually?"

"We burnt the forest I had destroyed. I was lucky that no human had happened upon it. That suspicious phenomenon would have alerted the Volturi. With the burning, the depletion looked natural, and the forest was able to revive."

Bella withdrew her hand from Carlisle's and moved it up his arm to rest on his neck. He bowed his head at her touch.

Their moment of silent commune was interrupted by Alice entering the room, towing Jasper in her wake. "Carlisle, they'll be looking for you soon. Dr. Clinton's patient is stabilized and ready for surgery. He'll need to know if you're going to assist."

Bella spoke for him. "He will."

Carlisle smiled into Bella's eyes as Alice continued. "We'll stay here with Bella until you get back."

Bella gave Alice a stern look. "I'm fine on my own, Alice."

"I know you would be." Alice tapped her head. "But we want to stay."

Carlisle looked meaningfully at Alice. "I think just you should stay. Let Jasper do something else." Alice was taken aback by the fierce protectiveness coming from Carlisle.

"Jasper's fine. The blood isn't bothering him."

"I'm in complete control, and I'd like to talk to you, Bella, it's been a while since we've talked."

Only Jasper and Alice heard the growl beginning in Carlisle's throat. Alice watched as Carlisle realized the growl was coming from him. She stared intently at him as his expression became one of pure self-castigation. He had clearly startled himself with his actions.

Jasper spoke slowly and deliberately. "But, I think I'll head on home to Forks, see if I can be any help there. Why don't I give you a call and we can talk over the phone?"

Alice didn't try to mask her irritation. "Is _that_ okay, Carlisle?"

Carlisle nodded to her, then turned and spoke to Bella. "I'll be back as soon as this surgery is through."


	6. Recovery

_The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment and anyone else who may legally claim ownership. No copyright infringement is intended._

 **Chapter 6: Recovery**

Carlisle used his newly acquired hospital privileges to complete the paperwork for Bella's release. Everything was all set for Bella's transition from hospital to home recovery. Esme was waiting. She had prepared a room with everything that could possibly be needed for Bella's recuperation.

Alice wheeled a sparkling new gurney into Bella's room. It was Carlisle who carefully lifted Bella onto it. It was he who rolled it through the halls, quietly joking with Bella throughout the walk to keep her mind off the prying eyes that would surely embarrass her. In a short time, they arrived at the brand new ambulance Alice had purchased. It was a fully equipped Advanced Life Support truck. It was Alice, in paramedic garb, who slid into the driver's seat once Carlisle and Bella were safely situated in the back. Carlisle rode beside Bella for the entire trip to their home in Forks. They could have kept Bella safe and comfortable in Carlisle's car for the journey, but with the extent of her injuries, an ambulance transfer was indicated. They had to keep up pretenses for the humans around them.

The Forks Emergency Medical Services would soon be benefitted by the anonymous donation of an Advanced Life Support ambulance. The hospital in Seattle had a new VIP suite, as well as a cash donation that would fund an entirely new building. It had taken quite a bit of dazzling, as Bella would have put it, and more money than an average person could imagine, but Carlisle had kept his promise. He had not left Bella's side except to scrub before observing her surgery and once during her last day in the Seattle hospital when she had insisted that he assist another doctor with a surgery. He had also managed to keep all the donations secret from Bella. He would explain it all to her if she ever realized what it had taken to get her the care he believed she deserved. He didn't think she would mind, considering how many people would be helped with the new ambulance in Forks and the new hospital building in Seattle. After all, the Cullens routinely made major anonymous donations. These were small in comparison.

* * *

Bella had been temporarily situated on a sofa in the Cullen home. Emmett was keeping her distracted while Alice and Carlisle discussed how best to get her settled in her new room.

Carlisle sternly cautioned Alice who was huffing in exasperation at him. "Alice, you cannot risk it with Bella."

"There isn't any risk, Carlisle. You know I managed when James attacked her, and I stayed with her for a long time when she got hurt on her birthday. In all the months since her birthday, I've been working on my resistance. I'm strong enough. I just spent days in a hospital full of bleeding humans. I can do this. Trust me."

"It's not a matter of trust, Alice." His voice betrayed his emotions. "For you to assist her in her bath, you will be directly exposed to her wound. Isabella's life is too precious to take even the smallest chance with."

"Carlisle, step outside the situation. It's me. I've gained complete resistance. I've seen the outcome. I am one hundred percent sure that everything will be fine. If it were anyone else, you wouldn't hesitate to trust me."

"It is not anyone else, Alice. It's Isa-"

"My sister, Carlisle," Alice interrupted him. "Bella is the closest person in the world to me next to Jasper. You know I wouldn't risk endangering her. You know if I feel in any way that I might slightly be beginning to possibly have trouble with it, I'll get out. I would never let Bella get hurt. And that is where my strength lies. There is just no way. She's safe with me," Alice said earnestly.

"I should have just had her taken to her father's house and hired a nurse and personal aide."

"Don't be ridiculous. Charlie would never have let you hire anyone, and you know it. It was hard enough to convince him that Bella needs to be here, where there's a doctor and medical equipment.

"If Bella had gone to Charlie's she would have had terrible nursing care. Her personal care would probably have been put in the hands of one of the women from the reservation. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but from what you've said over the years, their aseptic technique is nonexistent. Bella's injury leaves her highly susceptible to infection. If the poor nursing care didn't kill her, then her exposure to all sorts of germs would."

"Fine, Alice, you can help her in the bathroom, but protect her modesty. I will be in the room, in case your control begins to slip."

"No, you won't. You'll be outside the door listening to me. That way Bella doesn't need to know that you are anywhere near, so she'll feel comfortable. She doesn't need to be embarrassed by thinking that you can hear her going to the toilet, or that you can see her bathing. It's bad enough that another woman has to participate in her personal care. You'll hear signs early enough to intervene if you think I'm beginning to have trouble. Don't make Bella feel any more uncomfortable than she already will."

Alice didn't notice Carlisle's face fall at the thought that he might do something to make Bella feel uncomfortable.

"Carlisle, you almost growled at Jasper yesterday."

Carlisle's eyes snapped to Alice's. His voice softened with regret. "I've apologized to Jasper. There have been times lately when I haven't been myself. I don't understand it. I have no excuse for it."

"No, Carlisle. You haven't done anything wrong. You have reigned in your instincts and tempered them with your true nature, every time. You have nothing to apologize for and no need to regret anything. If your instincts start to override your true self, I'll let you know."

Carlisle's gave Alice a rueful smile. "Thank you, Alice."

"Yeah, well, hold that thought. You don't need to babysit me while I help Bella in the bathroom. I know my limits and my strengths. I won't endanger Bella. You don't need to worry or cause Bella any embarrassment."

Her last argument had him. He would do nothing to cause Bella unnecessary distress. "You're right, of course. Let me know if you need any help. I'll go to my study while you are in the bathroom."

* * *

Bella sat on a rounded chaise and leaned against the plush satin pillows that were propped on the half round back. She took the time to look about the room that Emmett had built and Esme had decorated for her. It was somehow stunning and peaceful at the same time. The paint on the walls was textured and the soft colors of the walls seemed to almost glow.

Alice responded to Bella's unasked questions about the room. "The paint is a flat ivory base with iridescent eggshell dragged through. The furniture is from Schnadig's Carleton lines."

Then Bella did ask a question. "Alice, this room wasn't an addition, there are rooms above and below. What was it before you guys made it over?"

"We used to call this room Esme's study, but she never used it. Her room is on the third floor, we call it her and Carlisle's room for appearances sake, but he's never been in it." Alice's voice became teasing. "When he sleeps, just because he can the show-off, he sleeps on the couch in his study. His room is his study, like Jasper's room is his study. Of course, Jasper and I have a bedroom we use when we want to be alone together. Carlisle and Esme aren't _together_ , so they don't need a bedroom to share for that kind of intimacy.

"This room really was made for you. It opens into Carlisle's study, that's why Esme chose the bedroom on the third floor. She wanted them both to have privacy. We only used this room for storage until Emmett made it over for you." Before Bella could ask any more questions, Alice disappeared into the en suite.

Bella ran her hand over the luxurious fabric as she looked around. The wall set diagonally at the foot of the chaise was made up of a row of immense French doors that opened onto a private balcony. Like Carlisle's study, they faced west and overlooked the majestic scenery that surrounded the Cullen home. She sighed, knowing it would be a while before she could go outside.

Directly across from the chaise where she sat was the door to Carlisle's study. It was flanked by two armchairs with the same inviting round lines. She allowed her eyes to travel around the rest of the room. The furniture was ivory and some of it was carved with intricate designs.

She noticed a tall simple chest of drawers near the bed. The bed's detailed headboard was as tall as she was standing. Against it was the largest gathering of pillows she had ever seen. The bedding was mostly the same ivory and eggshell as the rest of the room, but like the chaise and chair, it was accented with some deeper natural tones. The patterns and textures of the duvet and pillows were many and varied. Two rounded bedside tables stood sentinel, each holding a tall ivory lamp with a slightly darker shade. On the bench at the foot of the bed, lay a folded dark brown blanket that looked so soft she longed to touch it.

The dresser and its carved mirror were situated along a wall that ran diagonally from the left corner of the bed. That opposing wall had newly installed large doors on each side, one leading to the en suite, the other to the hallway. Between the doors sat a long rounded sofa that matched the chaise and arm chairs. The wall above the sofa was adorned with ivory framed art that she might have chosen herself.

The room was finished with ivory shag scatter rugs that were so thick and inviting Bella wanted to take her sneakers off and wiggle her toes in them. At the absurdity of that thought, she giggled aloud. Every fabric and texture in the room begged to be touched. She marveled at how absolutely perfect she found the room. Her musings were interrupted as Alice breezed in and announced that it was bath time, effectively drawing Bella from her observations.

* * *

"Thank you, Carlisle." Bella smiled as Alice whisked away all evidence of the medical procedure. Carlisle had just finished tending to Bella's broken arm, as Alice had gotten it soaked when she helped her with her bath.

Her injury no longer needing his attention, Carlisle rolled his sleeves down and looked at Bella. In all his years, Carlisle Cullen would swear on his father's cross, that he had never faced such temptation. Not even upon his first awakening as a vampire did human blood call to him so. Nothing in his long existence compared to the overwhelming need that seemed to explode from his very soul.

Bella lay reclined on a mound of embroidered pillows, her mahogany hair spread out in softly curling clouds beneath her. Layers of plush white covers were drawn to her waist, but above them, her torso was revealed. She was completely covered, the soft white nightgown Alice had dressed Bella in could not, by the stretch of anyone's imagination, be called provocative. However, above that garment, her porcelain cheeks were stained with her blood's natural pink blush, and her eyes shone up at him. He wanted nothing more than to touch her hair, to caress her beckoning cheeks, to look deeply into her eyes, to lean in and capture her soft lips with his and kiss her. Her taste, he already knew, would be exquisite. He could tell this from her scent alone. He would bury his hands in her hair and taste her mouth, gently kissing, nipping, sampling. He would soothe her, and then he would deepen the kiss. He would see the acceptance in her eyes. He would lean more fully over her, pulling her to him. He would lose himself in her softness, her sweetness. He would kiss her and caress her. He would find himself on top of her, unable to resist pressing her deeper into the mattress with his body, feeling her soft...

"Carlisle?" Bella's voice broke through his traitorous thoughts.

He allowed his eyes to meet hers. "Isabella," he replied, his voice a seductive breath.

He missed her reaction to him as his gaze fell to her hand that was reaching for him. He took her uninjured hand that she had extended to him across her body. "Tell me, what was it like to break a bone in the sixteen hundreds? It must have been very different."

He shook himself free of his longing and chuckled. He settled himself more stably at her side facing her and spoke, surprised that his voice sounded normal. "It was never good to be injured or ill in those days. If it were a simple fracture, the bone might heal without complications, although, it would be unlikely for it to heal neatly. There would, in the best case, be loss of use of the limb in the normal way. If the bone broke through the skin, there would be blood loss. Ambroise Paré had only just discovered how to use ligatures to close arteries. It wasn't common practice. Cauterization would be used to seal off an amputation and stave off death from blood loss. Amputation would probably be the procedure used above a protruding or compound break. There really wasn't anything better. In many cases, an infection was almost guaranteed."

"And an infection was almost always a death sentence."

"That's true. In the early part of the century, William Harvey, of London." He smiled and allowed his full British accent to color his speech. "Came up with his theory of the circulatory system. It's considered to be the greatest advance in medical history. As a physician, I have to agree, but I found my medical practice impacted more by Sir Alexander Fleming's work."

"Penicillin," Bella stated with a smile.

"Have you been reading my medical books as well as the rest of my library?" Carlisle teased.

"Well, I couldn't resist Henry Gray, and after that I was hooked," she teased back.

"Planning a career in medicine?" Carlisle asked.

"With the way I react to the smell of blood, I don't think so."

"Ah, but it won't be so long before your reaction to the smell of blood changes dramatically."

She laughed. "But, then I should get a job at a Red Cross blood bank, so I could safely snack while I work."

Alice entered the room laughing and pushing a cart that held a moderately sized flat screen TV and other devices. "Speaking of blood banks, I don't think either of you guys has seen this cheesy movie." Alice plugged the electronics in and skipped over to the bed with a bowl of popcorn. She pulled Carlisle up and led him to sit on the other side of Bella's bed. With Carlisle now comfortably situated parallel to Bella, on her uninjured side, Alice rejoined their hands. She set the bowl of popcorn beside them, so Bella could eat, then moved away wordlessly and popped the DVD into the player. Satisfied, she busied herself around the room, flitting from place to place. She rearranged flowers and adjusted other items.

After a few minutes, the horror of the film Alice had started began to register.

"Dracula has a tan?" Bella asked.

"It does seem to be artificial," Carlisle replied skeptically.

Alice laughed as she headed out the door, leaving Bella and Carlisle alone and cringing as they watched Count Dracula being kicked out of his castle, so it could be used as a training camp for Nadia Comăneci. "Don't you dare take that DVD out, Carlisle!" Alice called over her shoulder. "Give it time, it's funny."

By mutual agreement, as soon as Alice was out of hearing range, Carlisle stood and turned off the DVD. As Carlisle killed the power, Bella struggled and finally managed to pick up her current reading selection, _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_. She tried to balance the large book with her good hand and open it to the first page. Even using her bent knee as an anchor it was nearly impossible.

"May I?" Carlisle asked.

"Um, sure," Bella replied, not quite knowing what the question was.

Carlisle took the book from her hand and sat back down by Bella's side. "I haven't had a chance to read my copy," he said. Before Bella had time to question him, his soft voice began reading the first chapter to her.

* * *

Carlisle knocked gently on the door of Bella's room after seeing Charlie out. "Did you have a good visit with your father?" he asked, coming into the room immediately upon being beckoned.

"It was perfect. I put the game on." She brandished the DVR remote in her good hand. "Charlie really got into the game. He ate everything Esme made for his lunch, and I took a nap. It was perfect for us." She grinned. "So, now that my healing sleep has been done, I'm all yours."

Carlisle had really intended to stay in his study. To give Bella space this afternoon, he was sure she must want time to herself, or to have some of her friend's visit. When he had suggested that, she reacted in a most unexpected way. She told him in no uncertain terms that there was no one she would rather spend the afternoon with than him. He was appalled at himself when her adamancy had turned to self-doubt. She had gone on a long ramble about how sorry she was for keeping him from the things that she was sure he would much rather be doing than wasting his days with her. It took quite a while, but eventually, they each believed that the other really meant it when they expressed a desire for the other's company.

Carlisle moved toward the chair Charlie had occupied, but changed his course when Bella awkwardly moved over in her bed and fished out the book they had been reading together. "You'll need to sit by me and help me hold the book," she said with a blush. "It is my turn to read, and with this." She held up her broken arm. "I can't manage on my own."

Carlisle flashed her a wicked smile before she could blink he was settled on the bed beside her, his legs straight out, his ankles crossed. Bella read aloud for over an hour while Carlisle's strong hand held the book up for her. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes soon after she began reading. He was lulled into the most blissful state by the sound of her voice and by the rhythm of her heartbeat. However, at the end of the chapter she was reading, he closed the book and placed it on the side table. "Did you say you slept through your father's visit?" He was astonished that this thought had only occurred to him when Bella's voice started to sound tired.

"Yes, why?" she asked.

"You said he ate lunch, did you eat anything?"

"Well, no, I don't tend to eat in my sleep." She laughed.

"I'm going to get you something to eat and drink. Do you need Alice while I'm gone?" he asked.

"I'm perfectly well enough-" She stopped speaking when his hand touched the bottom of her chin and gently encouraged her face to turn up to his.

"In this case, as your doctor, I think I should make that decision, don't you?"

Reluctantly, she agreed. "I suppose so."

His thumb slid smoothly across her cheek as he withdrew his hand. He sent a text as he stood. His phone beeped almost instantly after he hit send. He smiled at the display. "Alice knew when you'd need her and she's almost here."

Moments later Alice bounced into the room. "Come on, Bella, I'll help you to use the bathroom." She came to a halt as she looked at Bella. "What happened to your hair?" she asked.

Bella's hand went to her sleep tousled hair. "I fell asleep when Charlie was here this morning."

"We'll have to fix that."

"Do not listen to her, Isabella," Carlisle gently admonished. "You look perfect." The sincerity of his compliment could not be missed. Bella blushed. "And now, even more so. I hadn't thought it possible."

"All right, Carlisle," Alice said in her most no-nonsense tone. "You need to make something for Bella to eat. Take your time. I'm going to help Bella to the bathroom, and I think now would be a good time for her to have a bath, too. Then, I'll do something with her hair. I don't want to see you back here in any less than forty-five minutes." Neither Carlisle nor Bella dared argue with Alice.

When Carlisle returned with a healthy meal for Bella it was to find her in a newly changed bed, wearing a modest peignoir of the finest silk, chiffon, and French lace. Her skin still had a pink glow from the warmth of her bath, and her hair had been brushed until it flowed in dark curling waves over her shoulders. He was transfixed. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was slightly parted. He realized that her bath must have been tiring in her weakened state. Before he could ask her how she felt, Alice breezed in from the en suite with an armful of towels.

"Ew, I don't know how you can eat that stuff, Bella," she said as she wrinkled her pixie nose.

Bella laughed. "I think it smells wonderful"

Carlisle displayed her plate with a playful flourish. "Quinoa pilaf with herbed grilled chicken and asparagus."

"Wow, thank you, Carlisle." She gave him an appreciative smile as he set the tray down. He saw a flush of pleasure light Bella's face as she noticed the cluster of white Jonquils lying on the top of her tray. He was filled with an unexpected swell of happiness as he watched her delicately touch their pale yellow centers.

"Jonquils!" Alice exclaimed. Bella looked at her questioningly. Alice's studied innocence as she left the room perplexed her.

Carlisle ignored Alice in the face of his desire to see Bella taste his offering. Cooking was something he'd begun relearning when she had entered their lives.

When Bella finished her meal, Esme came in to gather up the tray. "Bella dear, how are you feeling?"

"Spoiled," Bella said with a smile.

Carlisle handed her a glass of water and some pills.

"You see what I mean?" she asked Esme. "I have an acclaimed surgeon giving me my medication. Not everyone can say that."

"True." Esme laughed. "Is there anything I can get you? I can bring you a laptop or some books and magazines."

"No thank you, Esme, I'm fine really." Bella blushed under all the attention.

Esme's voice became tentative. "There's something I'd like to ask you."

"What is it?" Bella had never heard Esme unsure of herself.

"I realized that while you are recovering there's no one to take care of your father. He told me he ate pizza for dinner last night and the night before that. He's eating cold pizza for lunch and I doubt he's even bothering with a proper breakfast." Esme's speech was rushed, but still slow enough for Bella to understand. "He's working long hours and he needs to visit with you. He has to keep up a whole house and do his laundry too. I'm sure he's very lonely doing all that in his empty house." Esme paused to let Bella's mind form a picture of her helpless father.

"I need to get home, so I can help..." Bella began, only to have Esme jump in.

"No! Bella, you need to rest and recover. You need to take the time to heal properly." Esme rushed to assure her. "I was just wondering if you thought your father would mind if I helped him out while you're recovering. I know he's a proud man and will want to say no, but this is something I'd really like to do. Can you tell me how to get him to accept my help?" Esme asked uncertainly. "That is if you don't mind if I help him out for a while," she added.

"No. No, of course, I don't mind. It's really nice of you to think of him." Bella was thoughtful. "Why don't I ask him for you? I'm injured, I don't think he'll say no to me if he thinks it will make me rest easier, knowing he's being taken care of."

"Would you?" Esme asked, glowing. "I can start by making him a nice breakfast before he goes to work tomorrow. He seemed to like the lunch I made today." Her enthusiasm was endearing.

"Sure, that'd be great." Bella smiled.

Esme rushed to Bella and kissed her cheek. "Carlisle will keep you company dear, I need to go to the market. I want to start practicing making eggs, so I'll get it just right at your father's tomorrow. Does he like his eggs scrambled or fried?" Before Bella could answer, she continued. "Maybe he'd rather have an omelet. What does he like in his omelet? Or would he rather have something more decadent, like Eggs Benedict?"

"I'm sure he'll love whatever you make for him, Esme. He's not a fussy eater," Bella informed her indulgently.

Carlisle smiled as he listened to Bella talk her father into allowing Esme to help out while she convalesced. He could hear both sides of the conversation clearly, and he knew by Charlie's tone that his original refusal had only been what he thought he should do. It was obvious that he wanted Esme to, at the very least, cook for him.

"Esme really loves to take care of people," Bella noted when she ended the call.

"She does," Carlisle agreed.

"She's nothing like Renee. If I didn't take care of my mom, she'd have been lost. She's got Phil now, and he does a pretty good job. I used to shop, cook, take care of the house, and make sure she got to the places she needed to go." Bella laughed. "And find her things for her. She'd lose her head if it wasn't attached. Phil may not be much of a cook, except on a grill, but he sees to it that she's fed and he remembers her appointments. He makes sure that she has what she needs."

"How young were you, when you began doing all of this?"

"My mom came with me to shop until I was about eight. But, I did need to remind her to shop, and I made the lists before we left."

"That was a lot to for a child to shoulder."

"No, not at all." Bella laughed. "Renee always used to say that I was born middle aged. We were a good fit because she really didn't grow up."

"Esme's been like a mother to me since she joined our family. That's the closest I've experienced to having a mother. My mother died giving birth to me."

"What was it like, growing up without a mother?"

"I did have an adult female in my life. She was my mother's sister. Her name was Thomasin." He smiled at Bella's expression. "It was not an odd name for the time, although unlike other names of my human years, its popularity did die out."

"What was she like?"

"Our relationship could be a bit strained at times, but overall it was quite good. She was a midwife. My father thought her work to be very close to witchcraft. He didn't allow her to attend my birth. I think he blamed himself for my mother's death and that only increased his dislike of her sister. Deep down, I think he knew Thomasin might have saved my mother. It was only out of respect for my mother's memory, and the love she had had for her sister, that he didn't persecute Thomasin. I believe Edward told you of my father's zeal in wiping out vampires, and indeed anyone he deemed an evildoer." Bella nodded. "Well, he considered Thomasin evil because she could help, and in some cases heal, the sick. I was not allowed to visit her. So, being an obedient son, I visited at every opportunity." He gave Bella a mischievous wink, eliciting soft laughter from her.

"Were your visits with her good?"

"For the most part. I had the opportunity to visit her about once a week, when my father would sequester himself away to practice preaching that week's sermon. Thomasin did love me, although she held no love for my father. She made that clear. In fairness, he never hid his hatred for her." A thoughtful expression crossed his face. "My memories are a bit dim, but they aren't gone. She used to let me help her mix her medicines. I especially loved it when I got to use the mortar and pestle." He smiled. "Of course, I had to weed her herb garden first. I would accompany her to visit the poor and sick. I would carry her tools and medicines. I would assist if she needed me to, as well. Sometimes, it took four hands to administer care. She aided those who were beneath my father in social standing. They weren't amongst my father's congregation, so I was never found out. It could be onerous at times, but there was always a treat to any chore with her. One of my favorite treats was when she would take me with her to forage for some of the rarer plants in the surrounding areas."

"Is that why you became a doctor?"

"Perhaps it was part of the reason. Thomasin taught me a very radical way of thinking, at least for males. She didn't like the male attitude towards women. And she especially didn't like the male attitude towards childbirth. Childbirth was a major part of being a woman in those days. She spent most of our time together teaching me the opposite of what my father preached. It still amazes me that some women would believe it when men preached to them that they were mere chattel. That they were, at the very core of their being, evil just because they were female."

"That must have been hard for you. Hearing one thing from your father while being shown another perspective by your aunt."

"It certainly gave me something to think about. When I was a bit older, thirteen or thereabouts, Thomasin would put me in a dress, pearls, and bonnet and take me with her if she had to attend a birth. I'd been long since breeched, so I didn't like it much; however, Thomasin insisted. I was masqueraded as a girl because boys weren't allowed to attend births. She wanted me to see what really went on. The reality of the dangers, the need for care to be given to the mothers, and the miracle of new life. I think I must have been the only boy, perhaps even the only male, in the country to see what childbirth was really like. It was what made me realize men like my father, most men, treated women the way they did because they felt threatened by them. It was tending to the sick and watching new life come into the world that made me believe that all people must be equal in God's eyes."

"Even vampires." It wasn't a question.

"Well-"

"No, Carlisle. I don't want to hear that you only hope that's how it is. That is how it is. No God could have a hand in bringing you into a life and then suddenly abandon you because you were bitten by a vampire. It's venom in your system, not evil."

"I was hunting that vampire."

"Because your father, and your society, expected it of you. It wasn't in your heart. You were only doing what you had to do, weren't you?"

"You so very perceptive, Isabella." His eyes softened as they met hers. "Yes, when my father sent me to search out evil and destroy it, I avoided having to destroy his perceived evil at every opportunity. Although I never wanted to be a part of it, there was a piece of me that was glad when I was put in charge. You see, I could fail, or at the very least I could allow people to escape."

"I bet you were surprised when you met an actual vampire."

"After days of pain, I was confused and appalled. At first, I thought I had made a mistake, that my father had been right. As time passed, I realized that although I was a vampire, I needn't do evil. I don't remember the moment of epiphany, if there was a single moment. I came to understand that no matter whom we are, what challenges we are given, it's still our choice to act for good or not." Carlisle was lost in thought for a moment when he felt Bella's warm hand slide gently into his own. Her fingers intertwined with his. As if they had a will of their own, his fingers reciprocated the hold. He gazed at their joined hands for a moment, then lifted his eyes to hers.

Smiling in remembrance Bella said, "You have done so much with what you were given. No one could have done better, Carlisle."

Carlisle smiled shyly. "Well, in any case, I'd prefer it if you didn't let this get out."

"What, that you aren't a second class citizen because you're a vampire?"

"No." Carlisle's laugh was contagious and Bella laughed with him. "I'd rather the others, especially Emmett, not know that as a teenager my aunt dressed me in women's clothes and jewels."

"I wouldn't have mentioned it. Emmett would enjoy knowing that, though, wouldn't he?"

"Hmm," Carlisle agreed. "He'd enjoy it a great deal, at my expense. I can see him now following me around with a frilly dress and bonnet."

Bella deepened her voice in an imitation of Emmett. "Carlisle, I ironed your dress for work."

They dissolved in mirth, coming to rest a mere breath from each other on Bella's pillows. Their laughter died as they looked into each other's eyes. The rest of the world seemed to slip away. There was only their awareness of each other.

"Guys!" The bed bounced as Emmett launched himself into the room and onto the floor in front of the TV cart Alice had left. "I got the Bond From Russia With Love game. I'll play it in here so you can see it first, Bella."

Bella was struggling not to laugh so hard that she hurt herself. Carlisle snaked his arms around her and supported her incision so she could laugh freely with him.

Emmett popped in the game and turned to look at them. "What?"

Bella was very glad for Carlisle's support as they surrendered to their laughter.


	7. Recuperation

_The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment and anyone else who may legally claim ownership. No copyright infringement is intended._

 **Chapter 7: Recuperation**

Carlisle was in what had become his customary place since Bella had been released from the hospital: seated with her on her bed, on her uninjured side. This morning he was filling out paperwork that he had been neglecting since Bella was injured at the skating rink. Bella was idly flipping through a fashion magazine Alice had practically ordered her to read. Her attention wandered frequently to Carlisle's hands as he turned pages and wrote. She didn't read anything, she simply watched his movements. So she wasn't surprised by his declaration of, "Finished." She had seen him close his folder.

His eyes sparkled in the morning light as he spoke. "What would you like to do today?"

"Oh, I think I'll go sailing. It's been way too long. Then I thought I'd spend the afternoon practicing my ice skating."

"Sounds like a good plan." He leaned in until his shoulder almost touched hers and his flaxen hair fell near her forehead. "And this evening?"

"I'll just do something quiet this evening. Maybe some hiking."

Carlisle brushed the backs of his fingers over her cheek. "It won't be long before you can do anything you want to do."

"I was doing what I wanted to do, and then this happened."

"As soon as you are recovered enough, I'll take you skating again. I was enjoying skating with you, very much." His honey-colored eyes caught hers. "Unless, you're afraid?"

"I won't be afraid if you're with me, Carlisle."

"Good. We'll plan on it, then."

Shyly she asked, "Just you and me?"

Carlisle smiled. "If you'd like."

"I would."

Esme breezed in and set a bag on the bench at the foot of Bella's bed. "I've just come from your house, Bella. I brought the things you asked for. I'd hide them from Alice if you value them." She grabbed a vase and disappeared into the en suite. When she emerged, she set it back down and began arranging the flowers she'd brought with her. When she seemed satisfied, she bundled up the flower wrappings. "I have to get your father's uniform from the cleaners, go the market and make his dinner. I'll see you later." She gave both Bella and Carlisle affectionate kisses on their foreheads before leaving in a rush.

When Carlisle left to fax his paperwork, Bella rifled through the bag Esme brought her. She had asked Esme to bring some of her clothes the next time she came home from Charlie's house. The nightgowns Alice had been dressing her in were more fitting for a manor house on a moor. They weren't uncomfortable to wear, but Bella wanted her own clothes. She put on a blouse and pulled up her jeans, only to find herself ripping the offending denim off right after she'd fastened them. Apparently, jeans with zippers didn't go well with fresh surgical sites. She sat in her blouse and panties and spoke Alice's name.

Alice appeared almost instantly. "I thought I should let you try those, before I brought you the clothes I had made for you."

"You..." Bella couldn't seem to form words for a few moments. "You, had clothes _made_ for me, Alice?"

"Of course," Alice said airily, as she flitted from the closet to the drawers, inserting fabric that Bella couldn't quite see. "I'd much rather have shopped for you. I could have you in dresses that would make Car-" Alice spun around holding something blue and rephrased, "that would have stopped traffic." Alice looked quite pleased with herself. "But, instead," she went on in a long-suffering tone. "I had things made for you that I think you'll be comfortable in. You know, Bella, some things take precedence over comfort." She gave Bella her most withering look and was met with an unmoved expression. "Oh well, here you go." She handed Bella a pair of jeans.

Bella looked them over. They weren't so much jeans as they were soft blue shorts with denim extending from high on the thigh to the ankle. Bella put them on. The stretchy lack of waist hit her way above her incisions. She didn't know how to tell Alice that, although they were comfortable, they looked weird. Then, Alice handed her a tunic. It matched the soft knit cotton of the shorts part of the jeans and when she traded it for her blouse it fell almost to her knees, completely covering the odd top of the jeans. She looked at her reflection. She looked like she was wearing a fashionable tunic over completely normal jeans. However, it felt not only comfortable but soft and luxurious. She especially liked that it didn't hurt her surgical site in any way. "Alice," Bella said with slow deliberation. "You are a goddess."

"A fashion goddess, I know." Alice smiled. "I had fourteen sets of these made for you. Each tunic is different."

Bella looked in the closet where Alice had just finished hanging the tunics. No two tunics were alike in color or detail. They all had delicate feminine touches. Some of them had ruffles, some had lace and others were embroidered or beaded. The color of each tunic exactly matched the shorts part of a pair of jeans. There were several in different shades of blue, as well as ivory, green, pink, brown, purple, and even a retro tie dye with wooden beads. Bella loved them. "Alice, these are amazing."

"I know," Alice replied with a smug smile.

Bella glimpsed a name on a label. "Wait, Alice, I thought you said you had these made?"

"I did. I didn't say I had them made by just anybody. Now that you can get out of bed, you want to look your best. You couldn't have done that in your clothes." At Bella's cross look she hastily added, "With your incision you would have ended up wearing oversized sweatpants and worn out tees. Not a good look, Bella."

Bella stared at her; the glint in Alice's eye could only be described as evil. "I take it back, you aren't a fashion goddess, you are an evil fashion dictator."

"But you like them, don't you?" Alice asked, with real trepidation entering her voice.

"Alice," Bella said, putting aside her fear over what her new clothes must have cost. "I love them!"

Alice glowed without any help from the sun. "Carlisle and Emmett will be here in a minute. You should get some shoes on. They have something to show you." Alice presented Bella with what looked like stylish flats. When Bella put them on her feet and stood, it felt like her feet were being cushioned, and somehow supported, by the down of baby chicks. "Now, I'm going to put the coordinating pair of shoes under the tunics they match in the closet."

Before Bella could think about how many pairs of shoes Alice was unpacking, she was engulfed by a one armed Emmett hug. She smiled at Carlisle around Emmett. She knew from how carefully she was being embraced that Emmett and Carlisle must have discussed this hug before it happened.

"Come on, Bella," Emmett said with unrestrained enthusiasm as he carefully swept Bella up in his arms. "Come see what I did while you were lazing around in bed!"

Carlisle and Alice followed as Emmett raced down the stairs and out the door with a laughing Bella in his arms.

"That's a new door," Bella said as Emmett set her gently on her feet.

"Yup, that's just one of the improvements."

Bella slipped into the coat Alice held for her, it was a cool day for May. Carlisle moved forward and extended his arm to Bella. Bella blushed as she took it and allowed Carlisle to turn her around. Instead of looking at a new door she was now gazing down a long, slightly elevated boardwalk. It wound down to the river and into the woods as far as she could see.

"I made it like one I saw in Alaska," Emmett said enthusiastically.

Bella looked at it in awe. "This is amazing, Emmett. You made this all yourself?"

"Right down to the plans." Emmett beamed with excitement. "You can walk it to regain your full strength. And it's much better than the one in the Chugach National Forest. You can walk this one all year and even you won't slip." Emmett gestured to the completely dry boardwalk. "I made it so the boards are heated by warm air. It will never be wet or icy, even in the worst weather." Emmett rocked on his feet in exuberance. "Wait 'til you see what I built at the end!"

Alice hooked her arm through Emmett's and skipped away down the walk with him. She turned and called back over her shoulder, "We'll meet you there."

"It may take us a while. I don't want Bella to overdo it on her first real walk since her accident. We'll have to stop along the way to rest."

"Don't worry, we'll wait," Alice assured them.

By the time Bella and Carlisle were nearing the first of many benches that were situated at regular intervals along the boardwalk, Emmett and Alice were nowhere to be seen.

Once they were seated on the first bench, Bella looked at Carlisle sternly and began to speak. "Carlisle, you, all of you, have done too much for me. You've spent way too much money, I've taken up too much of your time."

"No, Isabella, we've hardly done anything at all."

"You have," Bella rushed on insistently. "And-"

Carlisle placed a finger to her lips and gave her a winning smile. "Please, let me finish?" Bella quieted. "First, you know money is irrelevant for us. Not that it matters, this scenic walk through our property adds value to the house. As does the new door, and your rooms. In the end, we will be better off financially for the changes that have been made here."

"What about the donations. You donated a wing to the hospital in Seattle. The special room I stayed in at the hospital, you did that too, didn't you?"

Carlisle interrupted, "We make donations like that on a routine basis. It's no more than we would have donated if you hadn't been hurt. It's less than we donate quarterly and think of all the other people who will benefit from it. It's all inconsequential." He looked deeply into Bella's eyes. "Believe me."

"I do believe you. It's just... I'm not... I don't..."

"Isabella," Carlisle began as he reached out and took her hands in his. "Please, let me do this for you?"

Bella sat in wonder as Carlisle gazed earnestly into her eyes awaiting her answer. She had always been uncomfortable accepting gifts. She had never been at ease allowing people to do things for her either. Even a simple compliment tended to make her feel uneasy. She grew warm and uncomfortable as she always did when confronted with kind gestures. With Carlisle, however, she found herself wanting to accept these things from him. She looked down and blushed. She really wanted to follow her heart and give Carlisle an affirmative answer. She only wished she could do it with more confidence and grace. "Okay."

"Thank you." He smiled gratefully raising one of her hands and brushing her knuckles with his lips.

All coherent thought fled as Bella's mind was overwhelmed by Carlisle's sentiment while at the same time her senses were flooded by the exquisite feel of his lips and breath on her skin. Carlisle raised his eyes to hers, the affection shining in them was unmistakeable. As though pulled by some gentle unseen force, Bella found herself closer to Carlisle. He entwined his fingers with hers and they sat in comfortable silence for several minutes. When she was rested, they continued their walk. "Tell me, Carlisle, have you ever done anything that wasn't absolutely kind and generous?"

"I may be the son of a preacher, but I've had my moments." He smiled.

"Moments like...?"

Carlisle laughed. "I'm sure you know that Oliver Cromwell's Commonwealth of England was quite limiting for a time when I was human. The performance of plays, even those of the Bard, were against the law. Of course, people still wanted entertainments, even though the theaters had been closed. Especially in those days, people needed a break from the harsh realities of life. A man named William Davenant wrote a new play called _The Siege of Rhodes_. He collaborated with five composers to set it to music. You see, recitative music was not against the law, so by calling it that, he got around the governmental edict. He obtained special permission to present his recitative music and set about to do so at the Cock-pit in Drury Lane.

"Being a learned man of about fifteen, of course, I wanted to see it. I'd heard there would be a woman performing. The very first actress by profession in England. How could I not be tempted to see her? My father wouldn't hear of attending. I listened to days of lectures on the evils of spending one's time at frivolous entertainments when one should be doing the Lord's work. Of course, my father thought any woman who would be part of such a performance was a shameless immoral creature, surely sent by Satan himself to tempt us, Godly men."

"You saw it." Bella smiled.

"I did. Not only for a glimpse of an actress, but I had heard that there would be amazing futuristic special effects, as well. The scenes, the backdrops, would actually change throughout the performance. This is something that we had never heard of before. It was something that I had to see.

"One morning my father set me the task of preaching and administering to one of our less affluent parishioners. If a parishioner was monied, he would attend himself to ensure a generous donation. I was to go our parishioner's home that evening. I told my father that I would spend the afternoon in prayer and preparation. My father left me alone in quiet contemplation. As soon as he was gone, I slipped out of my window and made my way to a part of the city where I knew there were always people begging for work. I took my savings, which I had been keeping to buy a new bible for the church, and I hired a man of my stature and coloring. Of course, he couldn't read, so I spent the afternoon teaching him _The Communion of The Sick_. He was clever and a quick learner. I gave him my hooded cloak and the direction of the house I was to go to that evening. I gave him half of my coin, the other half he would get from me the next day after he succeeded in his task. When the sun set he headed off in my stead, and I went to Rutland House to watch _The Siege Of Rhodes_.

"The parishioner I was supposed to attend was an elderly man. His wife was quite ill. She was not long for the world and they both sought comfort. Instead of praying with them, consoling them and caring for them, I snuck off to Drury Lane and left them in the hands of someone who had no experience nor any care except for the balance of the payment that I would give him if he managed to impersonate me without discovery."

Bella smiled conspiratorially. "You must have gotten away with it, you said you saw _The Siege Of Rhodes_.

"I did see it. I saw a woman, Mrs. Coleman, perform. It was terribly exciting. I saw them use the machines that changed the scenery no less than five times. I left the spectacle with a great sense of wonder and awe. It lasted until I arrived home to find my father waiting for me with the bereaved parishioner. The man I had hired never showed up at their home and the old woman died without the comfort of The Church. My father beat me black and blue, and I was forbidden to leave my house or the church for a month. Every unsavory chore was mine to do and do well or suffer another beating. I was made to do it on the sustenance of water and a bowl of what could only be called slop, a day."

"You must have learned your lesson."

"Indeed, I did. I learned that if I was going to do something so foolish again, I had better hire a more reliable accomplice."

They laughed together as they rounded a corner and Emmet's masterpiece came into view. At the end of the boardwalk, there was an immense screened-in gazebo. It was set comfortably out of vampiric earshot of the house and surrounding yard. It was shaped like an octagon with a large fieldstone fireplace in the center of the floor. There were comfortable furnishings scattered around the walls and situated cozily near the fire. The whole thing was larger than a grand ballroom.

Carlisle smiled appreciatively. "Emmett, this is truly magnificent."

"Do you like it, Bella?" Emmett asked nervously.

"Yeah, wow, Emmett, it's awesome!"

Alice squealed. "We'll have a party here when you're completely recov-" Alice went still for a moment and stood unseeingly. "No! We'll have a party here later on! It's going to be amazing, Bella. You'll love it, I promise. It'll be so much better than any party you've ever had!"

* * *

Bella was in her own long stretch eyelet nightshirt tucked snugly into her immense bed at the Cullen home. She had become tired after Alice's vision of a future party. It had been Carlisle's medical opinion that he should carry her back to her room where she could rest properly.

Sometime later, she was awakened by a bouncing Alice bearing gifts. She swallowed her horror and smiled at a beleaguered Jasper who trailed in Alice's wake, similarly laden.

Alice placed a stack of packages on the bench at the foot of her bed. Then she began flitting around the room replacing barely wilting blooms with armfuls of fresh blossoms. "Esme's going to make dinner for you later. I bought the ingredients. I don't remember eating human food, but what you're having is supposed to be the best. Carlisle says you need protein, so you're going to have a steak with mushroom and onion gravy on potatoes with herb-glazed carrots."

"That sounds really good."

Alice sat on the foot of her bed and began opening packages and handing things to her. "I noticed that you could use some new underwear. I only wear Carine Gilson, so that's what I got for you." Alice handed her piles of bras, panties, slips, and every other piece of underclothing imaginable.

She glanced nervously at Jasper and found him discreetly studying the wallpaper; she quickly covered the underwear with a spare blanket. He looked up when it was covered and smiled at her blush, which in turn deepened the red of her face.

"I got you fourteen sets of everything because I didn't want to overwhelm you."

"That's an awful lot, Alice."

"No, it isn't."

"She's unstoppable, Bella, you should know that by now."

Bella laughed and shook her head. "I'm wasting my breath aren't I?"

"Pretty much, yes. You best just give up now. We all fought it. We all lost in the end."

"You love me and you know it." Alice kissed Jasper's cheek.

"Without a doubt, darlin'. But, Bella needs to understand that she's not alone. She isn't your first victim." Jasper's eyes danced as he drew his wife in for a real kiss.

Alice pushed him off and pulled something large out of a box. Suddenly, she became unnaturally still. After a moment, she spoke. "I've got to go to the airport."

Bella's confusion was apparent. "Airport, Alice, why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, silly. Everything is going to be just right! I'll be back before you know it." Jasper's hair blew as Alice flew by him and out the door.

"That was strange."

"Bella, honey, you ain't seen Alice when she's on a real shopping tear."

"How can she shop at the airport?"

"She's been expecting a package from London. It must be here. So how are you, really?"

"What do you mean, Jasper?"

"Edward was out of line."

"It was an accident."

"It was, but he still seriously injured you. I know Carlisle is waiting until you're all better, but he's going to let you decide what you want to do about Edward."

"Do about him?"

"Bella, are you afraid of Edward?"

"No, of course not."

"You do remember who you're talkin' to, right?"

"Oh. Well, I'm not really afraid."

Jasper waited.

"Maybe a little." Bella relented. "But not like you think."

"Then tell me how it really is."

"I know Edward would never purposefully hurt me. But, obviously, Edward can lose it and hurt me when he doesn't mean it. I guess that scares me a little."

"That would be very frightening. How can you trust someone when you never know if they are going to accidentally cause you harm? But, Bella, you are trusting me alone with you right now, and I tried to kill you not so long ago."

"That's crazy, Jasper. You didn't try to kill me. Your natural instincts made you react. You knew and accepted your limitations. You made accommodations for them. You would never have been alone with me before you were sure that it would be safe. That's how it's so different."

"Edward left when he first met you. He didn't come back until it was safe."

"I'm not blaming Edward, I just..."

"Bella, I'm not trying to confuse you or defend Edward. Carlisle is right. Edward's actions were inexcusable. You are right, it was a terrible accident. It's a complex issue. One that's not going to go away."

"It will go away if I just forgive and forget."

"But, that wouldn't be very wise, now would it? Forgive Edward? I know you already have. Forget? It would be really bad to forget and let yourself get into the same situation again."

"So I should just do whatever Edward wants until I'm changed."

"No."

"No? But, you just advised me to not put myself in a similar situation with Edward."

"There are other ways to stay safe until your change. You don't have to be Edward's obedient human pet, and you shouldn't be."

Bella sighed sadly.

Jasper decided to change the mood a little, without any supernatural influence. He nudged Bella's foot playfully. When she looked at him he gave her a mischievous grin. "So, you and Carlisle are gettin' on pretty well."

Bella blinked at his apparent nonsequitur.

"You haven't been bored, lookin' at Carlisle's pretty face all day?"

"What? No! Carlisle has been great." Bella's eyes were far away as she thought of all the time she had been spending with Carlisle. She grinned. Her next words were spoken quietly to herself. "He's perfect." She realized Jasper heard her and she blushed crimson.

Jasper smiled knowingly. "He feels the same about you."

Bella was floored. Jasper couldn't mean what she hoped he meant. No, he must mean that Carlisle thinks she's been a great patient, that's all. That must be it. After all, she wasn't sure how she felt around Carlisle, so how could Jasper have picked anything up? Sure, she and Carlisle had many common interests; he was breathtakingly attractive, his voice was a balm to her soul, and his touch, even when accidental, made her feel..."

Alice's wind-chime voice broke into her thoughts. "Breathe, Bella." Alice laughed joyfully. "It's time to get you dressed."

"Dress, now? Is something wrong?" Bella glanced around and noticed that Jasper was gone.

"You worry too much. It's only five-thirty. There's time for you to dress prettily before Esme finishes your dinner."

By the time Carlisle knocked on the doorframe, Bella was seated on the sofa of her room in a black Alexander McQueen dress with a high neck and long gathered-cuff sleeves.

Bella could hardly see Carlisle over the piles Alice had made all around the room. She shook her head and rolled her eyes at Alice behind her back.

Carlisle chuckled. "Alice, to what tortures have you been subjecting Bella?"

"Clothes are not torture, Carlisle. A woman can't get better if she doesn't feel like she's properly dressed." Alice flew around the room putting clothes and accessories in drawers and closets. "I'll just put these things away." It took her less than a minute to home everything she had bought for Bella. "I'll see you later, Bella. Jasper's waiting for me." She hopped up and kissed Carlisle's cheek as she passed him.

Carlisle smiled. "May I sit with you, Isabella?"

"Of course." Bella toed off the ridiculous shoes Alice had put her in and tucked her legs under herself as Carlisle settled close to her.

"You look troubled."

Bella smiled. "I was talking to Jasper this afternoon and it got me thinking."

"About what?"

"The nonsense about Vampire's being damned."

Carlisle looked intrigued. "You think it's nonsense?"

"Absolutely. If there is a God who had a hand in your creation, he wouldn't give you an obstacle like vampirism, which you have taken and used to do only good, and then arbitrarily damn you for contracting it."

"Contracting it, is vampirism a disease then?"

"Tell me that you, Dr. Cullen, haven't ever considered that it might be?"

"Perhaps." He smiled. "I believe you were explaining how exactly it is, that despite popular belief, I am not damned."

"Didn't popular belief once claim that Hansen's disease was caused by either the wrath of God or the malice of Satan?"

His smile was teasing. "Now that you mention it, I think it might have been. However, all illnesses were once thought to be sent by God. It was, even since I've been a practicing doctor, somewhat taboo to consult a physician. The afflicted were encouraged to pray for relief from their disease instead." He grinned cheekily. "We doctors are an evil lot, you know."

"I do know that." Bella laughed. "But seriously, as a man of science, you must know that there is an answer just waiting to be discovered. I'm not saying that it has to conflict with your spiritual nature, Carlisle. If God created everything, he created disease and gave you the ability to cure it. So, he created vampires too."

"And do you think I should cure that?"

"Do I think you should cure vampirism? No. Why would I? Can you move away from seeing vampirism as something evil?"

"For the most part, I already have, yes. I can see that vampirism, like everything else, can be used for good or evil."

"That's an important distinction. For argument's sake, let's say you are a good vampire. One that isn't self-involved but who spends their existence helping others. Why would I want to cure that, to end that?"

"But not all vampires are good."

"Not are all humans are good either. Extermination of less self-sacrificing humans is frowned upon. It should be no different with vampires. Now, stop distracting me from my point."

Carlisle grinned. "I beg your pardon."

Bella gave Carlisle a teasing smirk. "You're obviously unrepentant so I won't grant you my pardon. Seriously, think about the word disease. Take Hansen's disease. Is it called that because the afflicted aren't at ease with their symptoms and outcome or it's called a disease because the body isn't functioning well. I think a vampire could be quite at ease with the symptoms and outcome of vampirism, having super senses, abilities, and tolerance for most situations that would be fatal to humans. I think that vampires' bodies function very well too, so it's not really a disease."

"A female vampire can't reproduce."

"With that one exception, it's not a disease."

"So vampirism is a disease, but it isn't a disease."

"In my opinion, vampirism is not a disease. It's not something that needs to be cured and it's not something that leads to death or disability. Although, mostly I believe that vampirism isn't a disease because the word disease has negative connotations. Vampirism is transformation. One that has infertility as a side effect or females, but it's a transformation, nevertheless. But, the question remains, can we assume that a vampire's venom contains an as yet unidentified pathogen or is it perhaps a type of evolution?"

"If it's evolution, it's self-limiting."

"Clearly vampires alone could not populate the earth. But, the population is already out of control. Maybe vampirism is meant to temper that."

Carlisle chuckled. "That's definitely a new way of looking at it."

"I'm not saying it's right. I don't even believe that. I'm just saying that I think you need to consider the fact that you were not turned evil by a chance bite. You couldn't have been. I mean, look at you, at all the good you've done. You have touched and improved so many lives I can't even begin to imagine it."

"You're still worried that I might think I'm damned? Isabella, you are precious."

Bella's eyes flashed, and her tone turned sharp. "Don't patronize me."

Carlisle was taken aback. "I wouldn't patronize you." He reached out and took her hand. "I merely meant that here you are a beautiful woman recovering from a serious injury that you received through the carelessness of a vampire's super strength, defending vampirism. You are a rare treasure. Most humans would have run away as fast as they could from the start. But, you... you remain staunchly defending vampires after many brushes with death at our hands."

"Not at your hands, Carlisle. Your hands have brought me only healing, comfort, and pleasure."

"Pleasure?"

"Yes, pleasure." Bella blushed. "I..." Bella looked down at their joined hands. "...I meant that you held my hand when you taught me to skate."

"Isabella," Carlisle leaned in and she could feel his breath on her cheek. "I would dearly love to bring you ple-" He stopped and sat back instantly putting a foot of space between them on the sofa. "Your father is here."

Charlie stuck his head around the open door. "Hey, Bells, how are you doing?"

"I'm good, Dad."

"Chomping at the bit to get back to school?"

"Sure."

"Good, 'cause I just stopped by to pick up Esme and give you the schoolwork you're missing." Charlie's attention shifted to Carlisle. "So, doc, when do you think she'll be getting back?"

"If Bella keeps improving, I'd say she could return to school sometime next week if she's very careful."

"That's great. It'll be good to get you home."

"Yeah, Dad, isn't Esme helping you out?"

"That lady is something else. I can't wait to get you home, Bells, but to be honest, I sure will miss her."

"She's a good cook, isn't she?"

"She is, and she's real interested in fishing. She's helping me sort out my tackle box tonight."

Bella's tone was anything but sincere. "Sounds like fun."

Esme walked gracefully into the room with a tray for Bella. "It will be fun." She placed the tray on the table in front of the sofa.

Charlie looked at the sumptuous meal that was clearly for one. His eyes narrowed in concern. "You eating all alone, Bells?"

"Of course, she's not." Esme supplied.

Charlie looked at Esme. "Oh, that's good." Esme took Charlie's arm. He left without another glance at his daughter or Carlisle.

Bella looked thoughtful. "Carlisle, should I be worried?"

"Why? Because your father is spending time with a bloodsucking monster?"

Bella huffed and picked up her fork. She looked speculatively at Carlisle. "There must be some way we could eat together."

"Should I bring a deer in through the sitting room?"

"Maybe warmed deer blood in a glass..." Bella mused, making Carlisle's brow furrow.


	8. Defining

_The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment and anyone else who may legally claim ownership. No copyright infringement is intended._

 **Chapter 8: Defining**

Bella glanced up at Carlisle as they made their way to the dining area of the Cullen home. He gave her an encouraging smile. The day before they had spent several hours discussing her upcoming change. There were many decisions to be made, but only one that the whole family would have a voice in. It was this that had caused Carlisle to call a family meeting.

When they entered the dining area, Carlisle moved the arm chair from the foot of the table to the head beside his. As he held it for Bella he gave her a winning smile. She returned his smile as she sat. She wondered why Carlisle had seated her at the head again. Last time the family meeting had been solely about her, but this time it wasn't. She glanced around the table. She expected everyone to already be here. Instead, only Alice and Jasper were present, seated in side chairs to her left. She didn't have long to wonder, as the others began to arrive. First Emmett and Rosalie came in and took seats on Carlisle's right. They were engrossed in a heated discussion that was too fast and low for Bella to comprehend. They were soon followed by Esme who gave her a happy smile. When Esme sat, Alice and Jasper's chatter ceased, as did the almost inaudible discussion between Emmett and Rosalie.

Carlisle looked at each family member in turn as he spoke. "We have a decision to make. As you all know, the Volturi have demanded that Isabella change." He smiled at Bella. "So too, is she unwavering in her desire to become a vampire."

Bella retuned his smile and nodded in agreement.

"Isabella and I have spoken about the date of her change. We have decided that I will change her directly after the New Year, instead of after graduation. I have conferred with Aro and gained the Volturi's approval of the timing. So, in a few months, we are going to need to leave Forks. We need to decide where we would like to settle. Of course, in the beginning, we will need to stay somewhere more private, while Bella adjusts to this life. It is my hope that we will be able to find an appropriate place for Bella's transformation that will be somewhat near where we choose to settle next."

Jasper smiled. "We bought some land off a logging company just east of Clayton Lake in Maine. It's nice and secluded. There are some logging camps a long ways out, but that's it. No residents, no utilities, just a whole lot of nothing. Even hikers don't tend to venture that deep into the North Woods."

Alice took up where Jasper left off. "I saw that Maine would be a good place to settle when Bella is ready to be exposed to humans. So we thought having our own little piece of wilderness in the same state would be helpful. Maine's North Woods is a little over three million acres. We bought sixty-thousand acres, right in the center for our house. "We could log if we want to, but I was thinking more of a Cullen Forestry Conservation." Alice slid a folder to Carlisle. "The deed is in all of our names."

Rosalie snorted indelicately.

Alice glared at her. "If you don't want it, Jasper and I can have your name struck from the deed."

Emmett protested loudly. "Are you kidding? Of course, we want it. Think of all the black bears!"

"And all the moose," Alice added, her glare turning into a laugh.

"Herbivores, no way. You can keep your moose. I'll take black bears every time."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Anyway, we weren't presuming to make a decision. We just have it now, in case we want it. If we do want it, we can build a great big house right in the middle."

"Thank you, Alice," Carlisle said with a knowing smile. "Can I assume you had a vision?"

"I did, but it can change if we don't decide to settle in Maine when Bella's ready."

Carlisle nodded, then regarded the others. "Does anyone else have another place in mind to settle for the next few years?"

Ever the voice of dissatisfaction, Rosalie answered Carlisle. "What about Edward, doesn't he get a say? He should be-"

Uncharacteristically, Carlisle interrupted her. "No, Rosalie, Edward has no say in the matter."

"You've thrown him out of our family and our life. You never even asked us how we feel about it.

Carlisle's tone softened. "I would never keep you from Edward. You are free to associate with him as you please. I thought you knew that."

"He belongs here with us. He's family!"

Carlisle's tone held only patience. "We'll discuss Edward's future role in our family at another time. Right now we are deciding where to settle next. And no, Edward will not be a part of this decision."

"He should be."

"We will discuss Edward at another time."

"When?"

"Rosalie-"

"When?"

"Will tomorrow evening suit you, Rosalie?"

"I'd rather discuss it now." At the look on Carlisle's face Rosalie hastened to continue. "But, tomorrow will be fine." She crossed her arms over her chest."

"As you seem to have our attention, do you have any objections to settling in Maine next?"

"We were planning on staying in Forks for a few more years. If we can't do that, then one place is as good as another."

"I want to go to Maine!" Emmett's excited pronouncement lightened the mood. Esme smiled indulgently, Alice and Jasper laughed and Carlisle's features relaxed somewhat.

Carlisle looked to Esme. "Do you have any other suggestions?"

"Not at all. Tell me, are there good hospitals in Maine? You'll want to work after Bella's transitional period."

"There are some excellent hospitals. If Maine is where we choose to go, I will look into openings in some of the smaller ones." He smiled at Alice. "I assume you and Jasper are hoping for Maine."

Jasper answered. "More expectin' than hopin'."

"We're all going to love it there!" Alice declared. "And you'll find an opening in the perfect hospital, Carlisle."

Carlisle smiled and turned to Bella. "I plan to buy or build a new home for us when you are ready to be exposed to humans after your change. We can go anywhere in the world. Does Maine sound good to you, Isabella, or is there somewhere else you would rather go? "

Bella's eyes widened. "I shouldn't have any say in this, I'm only human. I don't..." She stuttered. "...I don't want to be the cause of problems or-"

Rosalie cut her off. "You don't want to cause problems? You've been nothing but problems ever since you came here." Rosalie's face was thunderous. "Listen to you, you're only human? Are you insane? Don't you know that is preferable to this?" Rosalie gestured to herself. "If you don't want to cause problems for yourself, hold on to your humanity and get as far away from this family as you can."

Emmett stroked his wife's arm and spoke soothingly. "Babe, you know Bella can't stay human. The Volturi would execute her if she did."

Rosalie didn't immediately acknowledge her husband. "No one should have to suffer being a vampire. You still have your humanity, Bella, you should cling to it. Don't be so willing to cast it aside to become a monster."

Rosalie had grudgingly allowed Emmett to tell Bella the story of her change just a few days ago. The knowledge had weighed heavily on Bella. Bella was sad for Rosalie, but she couldn't let her go unanswered. "You are not monsters."

"We have been turned into the worst kind of monsters. It's better that you be executed. Being damned to an eternity like this is beyond cruel!"

Bella could not allow Rosalie to continue. She shot to her feet. "How can you be so ungrateful? The pain and terror you must have suffered at the end of your human life is unimaginable. It's utterly horrific that you were left to die like that. But, you were left to die and you would have died. Carlisle saved you!" Bella slapped her hand on the table in her vehemence. "What he did for you was the opposite of cruel!"

"Saved me? Humanity is so precious. Before I became this, I was young and I had my whole life ahead of me, just like you do. I would have had a family, I would have had children and grandchildren. To wake up as this is a horror that no one should have to endure."

Bella was thoroughly disgusted. "I've never heard anything so selfish. To listen to you, anyone would think that Carlisle took all that away from you. He didn't. He took nothing from you. That was already taken from you. Carlisle gave you a precious gift. Without Carlisle, you would have died."

"You aren't dying, yet, you're willing to throw your life away. I had a chance at a perfect life and I ruined it by making the stupid choice to walk home alone. Just like you are making the stupid choice to become a vampire."

"I'm sorry, Rosalie, it's not my place to comment on what your life might have been. I know you think your opinion is important and that I should hear it. Well, I've heard it before, and now I've heard it again. I still disagree with you."

Bella glanced at Carlisle who was sitting stiffly beside her. She turned her focus back to Rosalie, her fury evident. "Now it's time for you to listen to me." Her tone was serious and emphatic. "Carlisle Cullen saved your life. It's time for you to grow up and see what your callous words do to him. He questions himself, constantly. He wonders if he should have let you die a mortal death. The burden of guilt that you put on his shoulders is wholly undeserved. He gives you nothing but love and acceptance and you make him feel like he's to blame for your unhappiness. He is not. Carlisle is not the monster who sealed your fate. Royce King was that _human_ monster." Bella's eyes swam with emotion as she sat back down.

Bella's passionate defense left Carlisle speechless.

Jasper spoke before Rosalie could, his voice was commanding, as it must have been when he served as a major. "Bella's right. I feel the guilt and sadness comin' off Carlisle in waves. Not just now, but most times he's with you, Rosalie. And it's all mixed up with the carin' and fondness he feels for you. That's one hell of a thing to do to him. If you think Bella should allow the Volturi to execute her because Edward brought her into our world, you might well consider this, if you hate your life so much, walk away from Emmett and go straight to the Volturi. You certainly could provoke them into endin' this life for you. If you hate it as much as you make it seem like you do, end it."

Rosalie looked sadly at Carlisle. Her voice was so quiet that Bella could barely understand her words. "I don't blame you, Carlisle. Sometimes I wish for what might have been, but I don't hate my life. I love Emmett, and I love our family. I long for my missed opportunities, but I don't place the blame for that on you."

Carlisle nodded his acknowledgment to Rosalie. "I know you love Emmett and all of us. But sometimes, I wonder if I did you a grievous wrong. It seems to me like you spend quite a bit of your time steeped in regret about what I turned you into."

"I'm sorry, Carlisle. I don't mean to come off like that. I wish I was still human, like Bella. But, I wouldn't trade this life for death. You did save me, and I do appreciate that. I'm sorry if I make you think otherwise. In the here and now, I only want what's best for my family."

"Bella is family, too." He gave Rosalie a stern look. When he turned to Bella his eyes softened. "Now, Isabella, you need to remember that you are a member of this family, an equal member, being human doesn't change that. Your opinion is just as important, and just as valid, as anyone else's, understand?"

Bella looked up at Carlisle through her thick lashes and blushed. This time, she nodded her agreement. Carlisle smiled at her.

Jasper gazed into space with a sappy grin on his face. Esme looked at him inquiringly as Alice jabbed him sharply with her elbow before anyone else could notice.

"So, are we going to Maine next year?" Alice asked.

Carlisle turned his smile to encompass his whole family. "Is anyone opposed to Maine?" When no one voiced opposition he turned to Alice. "Yes, Alice, we're going to Maine."

"I knew it!" She kissed Jasper's cheek and stood. Carlisle laughed, as everyone began to filter out of the dining area.

* * *

Bella sat beside Carlisle in the gazebo Emmett had made. She thought about her recent conversations with Jasper. He had said that Carlisle felt the same for her as she did for him. The trouble was that she had been afraid to face her feelings for Carlisle. She knew that she preferred Carlisle's company to anyone else's. She could talk to him for hours and she never got tired of it, and much to her surprise, he never seemed to tire of it either. They were both addicted to reading, and second to that, they both loved simply enjoying the peace and beauty of nature. They had many other common interests, as well.

Although Jasper had led her there, her realization was nonetheless true. There was no one she would rather be with than Carlisle. They shared the same world views and they were both bleeding hearts. They really had countless things in common. Bella smiled as she realized that they both even loved doing absolutely nothing together, just as much as they delighted in sharing their common interests. Carlisle was special to her, of that she had no doubt. After all, she was willing to accept gifts from him. That was something she had never wanted from anyone before.

Her smile broadened as she thought about the fact that she could be herself with Carlisle. No matter what, she didn't have to hide or put on a front. She knew with absolute certainty that Carlisle accepted her as is, with no strings attached. He even seemed to like some of her odder tendencies, like her proclivity to blush, stammer, and trip. Instead of irritating him, he had made it clear that he found those things endearing.

Carlisle interrupted her train of thought by extending his closed hand to her. "I thought you might like this." He uncurled his fingers and exposed a miniature grouping of natrolite needles on basalt. "I found it after my hunt last night, down in Pierce County."

Bella took it from his hand and held it up to the light of the fire. She turned it around to see all of its nuances. "It's amazing."

"When I saw it, I was reminded of what you told me about the time you went to the mine and didn't have a chance to find any minerals because you fell. This isn't as good as finding one yourself, but it will be something to look at until you are well and I can take you to explore a mine for yourself, if you'd like that?"

"Of course, I'd like that. Thank you." She laughed. "I know you have an enhanced memory, but I'm going to have to be careful of what I tell you if you're going to think about it."

"No, please, you know that I want to know everything about you."

Her eyes sparkled with happiness. "I think you already do."

"Hardly." Carlisle smiled with her. "I don't know what you did this afternoon."

She pulled her lip in between her teeth and glanced at Carlisle through her lashes. "I... I was thinking about Edward. I was wondering if you are missing him. If you'll be bringing him home?"

"How are you feeling, about Edward?"

"It was just an accident."

"Just an accident? A friend doesn't endanger their friend. Would you take your narcotic pain medication, then put a friend in the passenger seat of your truck, without a seatbelt, and play chicken with a drunken truck driver who was texting and speeding on icy cliff face roads?"

Bella laughed. "I don't think Edward was that reckless."

Carlisle's anger with Edward was undisguised. "He was worse than that. He knew better! He knows what we are, what we can do. He's known for decades. He was much too cavalier with your safety."

"It's okay, Carlisle, really."

Carlisle stopped and looked at Bella, his demeanor and tone relaxed. "It is most certainly not okay."

"Will you allow him to rejoin the family?"

"It's not my decision. I want to do whatever is best for you."

"But, if you were to decide, if you had to decide, and could only consider your feelings, what would you do?"

"It's your feelings that are important in this," Carlisle insisted.

"Hypothetically, Carlisle, if it were your choice alone, what would you want?"

"I wouldn't bring him back. I don't want him here where he can endanger you again."

"No, Carlisle. I mean if I were indestructible, what would you want? You must miss him."

Carlisle ran his hand through his hair. "I do miss him. But you aren't indestructible, not yet. I can't stand the thought of you being in danger."

"I can't-" Bella's voice filled with emotion. "I can't be a wedge in your family. I can't be the cause of a division, an estrangement. Your family is too important to you."

In a swift and fluid movement, Carlisle was before Bella. He took her hands in his and looked earnestly into her eyes. "Isabella, you, your safety, your happiness are the most important things in the world to me."

Bella was taken aback. She wondered if Jasper were right, if Carlisle did feel the same way about her as she did for him. She might not have put it in words when she thought about it, but she knew that Carlisle meant more to her than anyone or anything.

Carlisle's voice brought her out of her thoughts. "This afternoon, when you were thinking about Edward, I was with your father."

Bella was surprised, and it showed. "Why?"

"I wanted to spend time with him. To allow him to know me. I desire his good opinion, second only to your favor."

Bella was clearly confused by his answer. "What?"

Carlisle paced away, then back again. He sat down beside her again. "I'm speaking in seventeenth-century terms to a twenty-first-century woman. I want to impress you, but I'm doing this very badly. I'm almost four hundred years old, I should able to do better." His laugh was self-deprecating.

"Carlisle, I don't understand."

"Isabella, I find that I care for your wellbeing and your happiness above all else. I have come to rely on your opinions. I trust you entirely and without hesitation. You are the first person that I think of when I have something to share, good or bad. I want nothing more than to become the same to you and..." He trailed off and gazed into her confused eyes. "I'm being inept, I'm going too fast." He shook his head. "I lose all my sense, all my restraint, when I'm with you."

"I'm sorry, I never want to make you feel uncomfortable." Bella's voice was filled with concern.

He smiled tenderly into her eyes. "You could never make me uncomfortable. When I'm with you I have a lightness of spirit I've never felt before. You change me in a good way. You make me feel like I really am twenty-three." He chuckled. "And I seem to be acting like I am right now." Bella's look of concern deepened. He grinned at her. "It's good. I never felt twenty-three, even when I was only twenty-three human years old."

"You had a difficult life." Bella smiled softly into his eyes.

"It's not been so bad. It's actually been quite wonderful since you've been in it."

"I can say the same about you." She blushed.

His smile was disarming. "Let me take you away from here. May I take to dinner?"

"I'd like that."

Alice swooped in seemingly from nowhere and squealed. "She'll be ready in half an hour. Go dress, Carlisle."

As Alice pulled her away she heard Carlisle mumble, "There's no privacy here." She saw him take out his phone. "I'd like to make a reservation, please..."

* * *

Once they were in her room, Alice was a whirlwind of activity. Alice was moving so quickly that she didn't have time to protest the fact that Alice was undressing her.

Before she knew it, she found herself sitting on the edge of the setee in a light mauve long sleeved, pintucked blouse. Below that she wore a matching fully gathered skirt. Both pieces were adorned with ivory colored lace.

Alice spoke as she began to brush her hair. "We don't have time for a fancy coif. I think if I just brush it back and pin it behind your ears... yes, that will do."

"This isn't necessary, Alice."

Alice laughed and moved on to her make-up. "Don't be silly, Bella. Of course, it's necessary."

Alice applied smoky eye shadow and swept lightly tinted gloss on her lips. "Just some mascara and you're good to go."

"You know I don't like make-up, Alice," Bella complained.

"Don't pout. I'm not putting it on you heavily. It's just a touch to highlight your natural beauty."

Bella harrumphed and was silent as Alice finished fussing over her.

* * *

Bella felt bad, she thought she was putting a damper on Carlisle's driving. "Don't you want to go faster?"

"Why would I want to go faster? I'm driving through a lovely area with a beautiful, intelligent woman. I don't want to rush that." His smile turned thoughtful. "Unless you would rather go faster."

"No. Absolutely not, I like this. I just thought you might be holding back because you thought I'd prefer it, which I do. I just didn't want you to feel pressured to drive at human speeds."

"Your desires would never make me feel pressured. I enjoy nothing more than pleasing you. I can think of nothing that makes me happier."

"There is nothing in the world that makes me happier than just being with you, Carlisle."

He switched driving hands and reached over and took her hand. He moved his eyes from the road and gazed intensely into hers for a few moments, before giving her a devastating smile.

She was pleased to see that, as always, he made no attempt to dazzle her. "I'm glad I'm getting to spend time alone with you. I love them all, I often feel closer to them than my own family. It's just really wonderful to be with you and be out of a house full of eavesdropping vampires."

"Do you have secrets to tell me, Isabella?" He teased.

Bella laughed. "I don't think I have any secrets left, not in a house full of vampires."

Carlisle's tenor was soft and somehow intimate. "I'm very glad for this time alone with you too."

Bella smiled.

Carlisle returned her smile and commented lightly. "You never told me how the rest of your afternoon went."

"Jake came to visit. I met him outside. Esme insisted on feeding him. She was very good with him. It must have been difficult, I know the smell is unpleasant for all of you."

"Esme has a very caring soul."

"It's sweet, the way she is with all of you."

"It was odd at first, being mothered by someone centuries younger than myself. I came to realize that how long a person has walked the earth is irrelevant. It's the age of their soul that matters." He smiled fondly. "I'm sure Esme was glad to see Jacob."

"He was reluctant to take food from her, but it was Esme, so even he couldn't refuse."

"I imagine not."

"Jake and I walked outside. In the forest, he made a move on me, again."

Carlisle's brow furrowed with worry. "Did he do anything untoward, anything that made you uncomfortable?"

"No, he didn't do anything serious. I felt uncomfortable, but that's because it's a complicated situation. Jake was really great when all of you were gone. I don't know how I would have made it through those months without him. I do love him, dearly. It's just that I love him like I would love a kid brother. I just can't connect with him in the way he wants me to." Bella was silent while she gathered her thoughts. "I don't want him touching me in a romantic way. I don't want to hurt him, or lose his friendship, but I can't encourage something that could never work. I have to make him understand that I will never change my mind."

"Is it simply that you aren't ready for another relationship yet?"

"No!" Bella blushed.

Carlisle smiled. He raised Bella's hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. His breath washed over her hand as he spoke. "I am gratified to hear that, Isabella."

Butterflies ran riot in Bella's stomach for the rest of the ride to the restaurant. When they arrived, she didn't remember a word of their conversation after Carlisle kissed her hand and told her that he was happy that she was ready for a new relationship.

As she heard Carlisle say, "Cullen, table for two," and the hostess respond, "yes, we have the table you requested, right this way, sir" one question began to take over her thoughts. Then, as she took Carlisle's extended arm for the walk to their table, the butterflies began waging war. Her mind was focused on that one burning question, was this a... date? Was she on a date with Dr. Carlisle Cullen?

Carlisle held her chair for her and she settled into her seat. As Carlisle sat she took in her surroundings. Their table was very secluded. The ambiance was soft and intimate. There was a gorgeous view of the sunset over the sea out the window to her right and there was a crackling fire to her left. The white linen tablecloth was a pristine backdrop for a vase of red roses and crystal that glittered in the light of a single candle.

They engaged in light conversation as she enjoyed a sumptuous meal that she didn't really taste. Her mind was formulating a plan to find an answer to the question that kept running through her mind. The very thought of what she was considering terrified her.

She smiled as Carlisle excused himself. She knew he had gone to the restroom to purge the undigested steak from his stomach. This was the opportunity she'd been waiting for. When she was sure enough time had passed, she rose and went to the corridor. The men's room was several feet down the empty hallway to the right, the ladies' room was in a corresponding area down the hall to the left. She walked swiftly to the ladies' room, grateful that the corridor was deserted.

She positioned herself to look like she was exiting the ladies' room and waited for Carlisle to emerge. She knew that when he saw her he would pass the restaurant door and come to escort her, it was his way. It was one of the small things she loved about him. After a minute, she began to change her mind. She wondered if she was going insane. She couldn't do this! What on earth had she been thinking? As she began to close the door of the ladies' room to make her escape back to their table, Carlisle came into the corridor.

He smiled at her. As he passed the restaurant door she sped up and met him halfway. She didn't think anymore, she just acted. When he stopped to offer her his arm, she kept going. She walked right up against him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She hadn't considered their height difference, but fortunately, he bent his head down to her in question. She stood on her toes and closed the distance between their faces. She pressed her lips to his. For an interminable moment, Carlisle seemed frozen. Then to her relief, he returned her kiss. She thrilled to the sensuous feel of his lips retuning her caress. He backed off with several more small kisses.

"Isabella." Her name was a prayer from his lips. He ducked in and gently kissed her again. His breath was on her mouth as he spoke. "Isabella, are you sure?"

Her heart pounded in her breast and she didn't know how she managed the oxygen needed to answer. "Yes, Carlisle."

Those words seemed to unlock something in Carlisle. His arms came around her waist and pulled her to him. His lips brushed hers with slow deliberate movements. She couldn't help herself; her hands moved up of their own volition and sifted through the flaxen silk of his hair.

She trembled in his arms. He pulled back briefly to discern the meaning behind her trembling. Her lips were red from his kisses and her eyes were filled with desire. They looked at each other in wonder for a few moments. She knew he had read her right when he pulled her back to him and spun her around. She found herself pressed between the wall and his body. This kiss wasn't tentative or nearly as gentle. She didn't know who deepened the kiss; she only knew that she was lost to the exquisite sensation of his tongue on hers.

As they kissed he pressed his body more firmly to hers. Heat pooled in her abdomen when his mouth left hers and trailed kisses over her heated cheek and down the side of her throat.

When his mouth returned to hers, his fingers danced at the base of her skull and behind her ears. The feel of his cool fingers on her heated flesh intensified her desire. She was almost frightened by how much she wanted him. His mouth left hers again and she instinctively tilted her head to the side. His lips slid down the other side of her throat and back up to suckle her earlobe. After a few moments, he reluctantly began to pull away. He dipped quickly back in, to give her one sweet longing kiss.

Flushed and breathing hard, with mere inches between them, Bella righted herself with Carlisle's help.

After a few more delicate kisses, they headed arm in arm, with their sides pressed together as close as decently possible, to pay the bill.


	9. Declarations

_The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment and anyone else who may legally claim ownership. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

 _I would like to thank everyone who took the time to review._

* * *

 **Chapter 9: Declarations**

Bella woke slowly. She didn't move; she basked in the feeling of rightness that was waking with her body completely entwined with Carlisle's. Their legs were tangled together. His arms held her close to his body, and she was wrapped in the delicious scent that was pure Carlisle. She smiled as she remembered the night. When they got home, the house was empty. Everyone had gone hunting. Carlisle and Bella had curled up to read together, but this time she had been in Carlisle's arms. Their reading had been interrupted by frequent bouts of kissing that ranged from sweet and loving to passionate and intense. She opened her eyes to see his face a scant inch from hers on her pillow. They had finally fallen asleep together as dawn began creeping in through the windows. Her smile turned to one of deep satisfaction. This was pure ecstasy. She had never shared a pillow before, but now, she would always want this. She had always wondered if the cosmos really held some place of utter perfection, some kind of heaven. Now, she knew. Her smile turned to one of pure contentment. This was it.

She held herself still and watched Carlisle sleep. She had never seen him sleep before. She'd known that he was able to sleep, even though his body didn't require it. Watching him do it, however, was something very intimate. She didn't worship him with her eyes. Theirs was a relationship that was too real for something so one-sided and superficial. Instead, she adored him with her eyes. She gazed at his relaxed face and sleep tousled hair. One flaxen lock was draped over his sculpted cheekbone and she longed to brush it back for him. She didn't touch it. She didn't want to wake him and interrupt this bliss. He was so beautiful, he was so very good, and he wanted her. He wanted her in every way possible. He had made that clear last night. They hadn't consummated their relationship, but Carlisle left her with no doubt that he wanted to, very badly.

Her brow furrowed in displeasure as her contemplation of Carlisle's sleeping form was marred by an errant thought of Edward. Edward had never made her feel wanted, not in the way Carlisle did. Where Edward pushed her away, Carlisle pulled her closer. Where Edward demanded, Carlisle requested. Where Edward coerced, Carlisle discussed. Where Edward ignored, Carlisle listened. She shook her head as if to clear it from a nightmare and dismissed Edward from her thoughts. She refocused all her attention on Carlisle. Too soon she was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He groaned and opened his eyes. When he noticed her, and the memory of the previous night became evident in his eyes, he smiled. He reached over and caressed her cheek, without breaking eye contact he felt for his phone on the nightstand.

"Hello, this is Dr. Cullen speaking."

As Carlisle answered his phone, Bella went to move away, to give him privacy, but he drew her back to his side with a smile that told her he didn't have anything to hide from her.

Carlisle's voice was somewhat sleep roughened as he spoke. "Yes, that does present a problem."

Bella's phone vibrated. She glanced at it and held the text up for Carlisle to read. "WA overcast all day from Ellensburg west - Alice"

Carlisle's smiled his thanks. "I understand how important this is, I'd be happy to fill in." Carlisle listened silently for a few moments and ended the call politely. He settled back down on the bed and pulled Bella into his arms. "I have to go to a hospital fundraiser luncheon in Seattle. Would you like to accompany me?"

"Of course." Bella's smile turned contemplative. "Bringing me won't cause problems?"

"We did decide that we weren't going to hide the change in our relationship. Have you reconsidered?"

"No, never. I just want to make sure that's still what you want. Anyone in my life who doesn't want to accept you will either have to learn to, or they will no longer be in my life. Although, I did think we'd tell them ourselves, in our own way." She stroked Carlisle's cheek.

"We will tell your parents and friends when the time is right for you, however, you wish to tell them. This is a general fundraiser in Seattle, so no one you know will be there." He paused and smiled at Bella in wonder. "You continue to amaze me. Your parents are your family. They may disapprove, yet you are willing to fight for us."

"No, Carlisle, I won't fight for us. You are my choice. There is no fight. They will just need to accept you. As for my friends, if they can't accept it, then they aren't really my friends.

"But, Edward and probably Rosalie will be upset. Edward was your first friend in this life, and Rosalie is like a baby sister, almost a daughter to you. They're your family. I don't want to do anything to make this more difficult. I don't want to alienate them from you."

"Can't you see that I feel the same way about you?"

"You have loved Edward and Rosalie for so long. You are so close. I don't ever want to be the cause of stress or sadness for you."

"Rosalie will come around. It may take a couple of centuries." He laughed, "But, I can promise you that she will. Edward. Edward is a different situation. I cannot predict what will happen with Edward. Even if I do lose my relationship with Edward, it will be worth it. Because I will have you, and our relationship is the most important thing to me." He smiled seriously. "This has happened so fast. I should be concerned by that; yet, somehow I am not."

Bella laughed. "It hasn't been that fast. We met a long time ago. We've been spending time together since the first time Edward brought me to this house. All of that is part of the time frame here. We know each other. It's not like we met yesterday and I spent the night in your arms."

Carlisle grinned. "You're right. In all the time since I met you, I've spent more time with you than anyone else. When we weren't together, I found myself looking forward to the next time I would be able to see you, to speak with you. I simply need to make sure that this is what you want."

Bella smiled. "Eternity with you, Carlisle, is all I could ever ask for."

His breath was on her neck and ear as he pulled her even closer. "I thought it too soon despite how our feelings have grown. I don't want to rush you. But, with the threat of the Volturi, everything is moving so quickly. You will be changed in a few short months. Here you are, speaking of eternity, perhaps, it isn't too soon after all." He pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes. "Isabella Swan, I love you."

Bella's eyes swam with emotion. "I love you, Carlisle Cullen. I've loved you for longer than I realized."

Carlisle cupped her cheeks and drew her lips to his. He kissed her with such tenderness that she could have wept for the joy of it. His lips roved along her jaw to the hollow behind her ear. He held his lips there, a gentle caress that caused a shiver of delight to dance along her spine before he languorously made his way down her throat to her pulse point. After several moments Carlisle pulled back and brushed the hair away from Bella's face. He made eye contact and held it as he slowly brought his lips back to hers. His touch was a tender brushing, a worshipful tribute. He pulled back enough to look deeply into her eyes again.

This time it was she who closed the small distance between them. She returned his kiss with a soft, lingering kiss of her own. When she began to pull back, he kissed her again, a simple kiss that was full of promise. His lips clung to hers as he kissed her again and again. He gently took her bottom lip between his own. The feeling of his inner lips wrapped around hers was indescribably sensual. Her eyes closed in response to the overwhelming feelings of love and devotion that were surrounding her as he kissed her. He softly ran his tongue across the outside of her lips and she parted for him. When their tongues met, a heady liquid desire pooled inside her. She had never felt such overwhelming sensations of love combined with raw electric need. As she pressed her body to his, her phone rang. Carlisle reluctantly pulled his lips away, and then dove back to give her one last lingering kiss as she fumbled for her phone.

Bella pushed talk, and they could both clearly hear Alice's scolding voice. "Isabella Swan, put Carlisle down this minute! You have exactly forty-seven minutes to get ready for the fundraiser and I'm not there. Get going, I'll talk you through this."

* * *

When they arrived at the luncheon they had no time to mingle together. Lunch was served almost immediately, and after that, Carlisle had to do what he came for- charm the rich people of Seattle into giving their money to Forks Hospital.

He was concerned about Bella. They hadn't had time to meet many people before lunch, and now she was on her own. He could hear the beating wings of the vultures, the matrons of Seattle society along with other doctor's wives, talking about Bella and preparing to engage her.

Carlisle had only one ear on what a major hospital patron was saying. Unlike the doctor next to him, who happened to be from a hospital that was competing for donations. That doctor, a prominent surgeon who was from an old and extremely wealthy Washington family, was listening intently to the coffee mogul's conversation. Carlisle should have been vying for the coffee giant's attention, and subsequent funding; but instead, he was far more intent on what he could hear Bella going through.

"So, my dear," a smartly dressed woman in her mid-thirties began, as the group settled around Bella. "You must be so pleased that Dr. Cullen brought you today."

"Excuse me?" Bella's voice was clearly confused.

"How exactly is it that you are related to Dr. Cullen? Are you his niece, perhaps?"

Bella was temporarily wrong-footed. "Uh, no. We aren't related."

"Really? I can't imagine what you are to him." The woman glanced at Carlisle. "Ah, I see he's with my Arnold. Arnold's quite the famous neurosurgeon, you know."

"Yes, I do. Carlisle has often spoken of Dr. Braxton. You must be very proud."

The woman temporarily ceased her calculated remarks and smiled patronizingly. "I am."

"I know from Carlisle that Dr. Braxton is a gifted doctor, but Carlisle never mentioned how kind he is."

"Kind?"

"And you must feel so special." Bella made a show of looking around the room. "I do believe he's the only doctor who brought his mother. You have a very devoted son." Bella smiled.

"Son?" The woman's tone was one of utter shock. "Arnold isn't my son."

"No?"

"Certainly not." The woman bristled.

Bella looked genuinely perplexed. "But, you're too young to be his grandmother, I'm sure."

"I'm his wife!"

"Oh dear, I've jumped to a conclusion from your apparent age difference. I'm terribly sorry." Bella's smile was sweet, but her eyes were unrepentant. "I shouldn't have done that."

The rest of the ladies clustered around Bella and Mrs. Braxton seemed silently pleased with Bella's conversational acumen. They took Mrs. Braxton's uncharacteristic silence as an opportunity to make introductions. They included Bella in polite conversation. Bella responded with poise and grace. She easily charmed all of the ladies, with the exception of Mrs. Braxton. Carlisle was relieved and pleased. He turned his full attention to the conversation at hand when he heard Bella politely extricate herself from their circle.

"No sir, Carlisle, I don't like this new idea of mixing treatments. I'm a firm believer in seeing one through and then-" Dr. Wilson trailed off and gave a low whistle. "Well, would ya look at that, Christopher has set his sights on a lovely young lady."

Carlisle looked in the direction the older doctor had indicated and saw a handsome young man set a chair down beside Bella and smoothly offer her a seat. Bella accepted with a shy smile. Carlisle seethed quietly.

"So the wind blows in that direction does it, son?"

Carlisle didn't notice the other doctor had spoken to him until he felt the hearty slap on his shoulder. He reluctantly took his eyes off of Bella and gave Dr. Wilson his attention. "Pardon?"

"Do you know that lovely young lady talking to my wife?"

Carlisle noticed for the first time that Bella was deeply engrossed in conversation with a wheelchair bound elderly woman. She seemed unimpressed by the young man who had brought her a chair and was still hovering around her preening."

"That young buck is my grandson. He seems taken with the little lady."

"Isabella."

"A lovely name for a gal with a generous heart. She's been talking to my wife for half an hour, crouched down to her level too, instead of looking down at her. Not one of these others gives my wife more than a cursory greeting unless I'm with her. But that sweet little lady, she's even ignoring Christopher to talk to my Lillie. And I'll tell you what, Christopher has a way with the ladies, just like his old grandpa." The doctor puffed out his chest proudly. "How did you say you know Miss Isabella?"

Carlisle never tore his eyes away from Christopher Wilson as he answered the other doctor. "I'm going to marry her."

Another slap on the shoulder. "Got your ring on her finger do you?"

Carlisle spared Dr. Wilson a brief glance before turning his watchful eyes back on his would-be usurper. "Not yet."

"Well then, son, we best get over there before my grandson begins to work his charms on your lady."

Bella looked up and smiled as Carlisle and Dr. Wilson approached.

"My dear," Dr. Wilson kissed his wife's weathered hand. "Who is your lovely companion?"

"This is Bella." She turned her sharp gaze to Bella. "And this, Bella, is the creature I married, Lee."

As Dr. Lee Wilson bowed low over Bella's hand, his eyes danced with appreciation. "I'm very pleased to meet you, Bella."

"Stop that." Mrs. Wilson ordered with familiar good humor.

"I was just saying hello, my dear."

The rest of the luncheon was spent with the Wilsons. Together they mingled with the group after group of doctors, philanthropists, and their guests. When it was all over, Carlisle had secured more than twice the amount of donations for Forks Hospital than he had hoped he would, and that added up to a lot more than they expected. Bella left with an invitation she had accepted. She would be meeting Lillie Wilson for tea in a few days. Carlisle smiled to himself as Bella took his proffered arm for the walk to his car. A weekly invitation to Tea wasn't all Bella had gleaned from the luncheon. Forks Community Hospital's newly acquired fortune was due in no small part to Bella's genuine charm.

* * *

Bella gazed unseeing at the rain as it hit the windshield. "Carlisle, tell me about your first love."

Carlisle smiled in memory, and Bella tried not to let that bother her. "She was the local seamstress' daughter. I would see her on market day. I'd go to the market early every week and secure myself a place from which I could see the road. When I would see them coming, I would make sure that our paths crossed."

"You were quite the stalker."

"I was, wasn't I?" Carlisle laughed. "This went on for months before I had the courage to interact with her."

"What was her name?"

"Sarah. I knew the meaning well and thought it fitting. She was indeed a princess. When she would walk through the market with her mother she was a good and obedient daughter. She was always smiling and had a kind word for everyone who spoke to her."

Bella smiled at the manner of speech Carlisle used, as if he were back in time with his memories. "So, what did she look like?"

"I thought her the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. She had a graceful curve to her cheek, a feminine chin, and an elegant throat. She wore her hair pulled back from her delicate face, and it fell in long waves of curls down her back. Her eyes sparkled like the autumn sun on the sea above her delicate upturned nose. But, it was her laugh that first caught my attention, it was simply enchanting."

Bella's smile faded. She knew she couldn't compete with the memory of such a perfect woman. In a small voice, she asked, "How did your relationship begin?"

"It was a sunny spring afternoon. Sarah and her mother were late to the market, so when they arrived her mother made haste to catch up with her sales. That left Sarah alone and approachable. I did the only thing a young man who had waited so long for his love could do. I approached her. When she noticed me, our eyes met. It was then that I knew I had to declare myself. I steeled my nerves and walked right up to her. Before she could utter a word from her sweet pink lips I made my move. I reached out to her and tugged one of her curls as hard as I could. Then I ran like my breeches were aflame."

"How old were you?"

"I was a full seven years old, and my love was six and a half."

Bella smiled.

"We became fast friends. Although, we only saw each other on market day. I believe she married the butcher's son." Carlisle smiled. "Some of my memories have faded a bit. I can't remember how many children they had, when last I heard of them. I can't complain, my memory of my human life is clearer than most. I think that may be because my diet has never included human blood, but I can't be sure."

"Well, you'll have another control subject after you change me. I trust you to keep me from eating any humans."

"Isabella-"

Carlisle's phone rang, interrupting him. When he closed it he turned back to Bella. "I had planned to spend the rest of the day with you." He's eyes held regret. "But, I'm needed at the hospital."

"It's no problem, Carlisle. I need to talk to the Newtons, anyway."

"Are you going to tender your resignation now?"

"I am. I'm sure that whoever they gave my shifts to while I've been recovering will be happy to take my position."

Carlisle pulled the Mercedes into a parking place that was hidden from the windows of Newton's Outfitters. He switched the engine off and gave Bella the keys. "You take the car. I'll go to the hospital and run home as soon as I can get away."

"Okay." Bella slipped the keys into her purse.

"I can't hear any heartbeats nearby."

Bella smiled and leaned over the console. Carlisle didn't hesitate. Reaching forward, his fingers caressed the back of her neck and then slid around to cup her cheek. At the same time, she buried her hands in his soft blond hair. He leaned down. His breath was soft on her skin as he brushed a kiss against her other cheek. She tugged his hair slightly and their lips met. His kiss was gentle and sweet. She tentatively nipped his lips with her teeth and was not disappointed. Carlisle deepened the kiss. Bella's head swam when her touch elicited a small but needful moan from him. Their tongues caressed more fervently as they strove to get closer to each other in the cramped car. Her hands tugged his hair as his roved over her back. Too soon, she felt him begin to reluctantly withdraw. He kissed her forehead and each of her cheeks. He kissed her chin and the tip of her nose before he allowed himself one last chaste, but lingering, kiss on her lips.

His breath was ragged with desire. "I must go."

Her faced was flushed and her eyes shone as she responded. "I know." Before Bella could turn Carlisle had her door open. He held his hand to her. She put her hand in his and stepped out into the damp air. "Go, they need your help."

He smiled in relief at her understanding.

"I'll see you later."

"Drive safely."

"I will." She smiled at his retreating form and turned toward the entrance of the store.

Bella entered Newton's before she could search for her boss, she noticed Ernie Buckley, the school custodian looking at hats. She smiled and put her hand on his forearm. "Mr. Buckley, how is your wife?"

He looked up at Bella and smiled. "Betty's doing good. They say she's going to make a good recovery."

"That's wonderful." Bella's eyes sparkled with genuine happiness. She didn't know Mr. Buckley very well, but when she did see him, he always had a kind greeting and a warm smile. She had heard that he was going through a difficult time; that his wife of thirty-nine years was battling cancer.

"It seems like yesterday you were just a baby, and your daddy was showing you around the town, proud as punch." He looked closer at Bella. "Now you're all grown up. It won't be long before you're showing off your own baby." He fingered the pink cap in his hands.

"Is that for your wife?"

"It is. She wanted me to get her something for her head before she comes into town. She's nervous about people seeing her. Her treatments took her hair."

"Well, it's natural that she would feel that way. Did she tell you what kind of hat she'd like?"

"No, she just said to bring her something pretty. I figure ladies generally think pink is pretty."

"She's not going to play sports right away is she?"

He laughed. "No, I don't think so."

"And she didn't specifically ask for a hat?"

"Well, no, she just wanted something pretty to cover her head."

"Have you looked at scarves?"

"Scarves..."

"Look, over here." Bella pointed down the aisle and led Mr. Buckley to the scarves. "This one has some lovely spring flowers on it, and it has lots of colors, so it should match whatever she's wearing."

"Oh, I think she'd like that better than this cap. Thank you, Bella."

"It's my pleasure, Mr. Buckley. Please, give your wife my best."

"I'll do that, and since you're all grown up, you can call me Ernie."

"Thank you, Ernie. I hope to see you and your wife out and about soon."

"I'm sure you will."

Bella gave Ernie a smile and headed towards the door to the back room. She was stopped by Jessica calling her name.

"Jessica, what are you doing here?"

Unbeknownst to Bella Jessica and her group from school had witnessed her conversation with the school's custodian. Jessica ignored her question. She gave Bella's chic outfit a prolonged appraisal. "So, are you like, planning on running for office or something? Because I think you have to go to college first. I mean, I thought you were supposed to be recuperating from a fall or something, and here you are all dressed up and talking to the janitor like you want his vote."

"I'm much better now. I'm here to quit my job. I have to find Mr. Newton and tell him." Bella smiled tightly. "I'll see you in school next week."

"It's almost graduation, how are you like, going to get caught up? I mean I know you've done some homework, but-"

"Oh!" Bella exclaimed, interrupting Jessica. "Mr. Newton is leaving, I have to speak with him before he leaves. I'm sorry, we'll catch up later."

"Sure, fine... whatever." Jessica turned back to Eric, Angela, Tyler, Mike, and Katie who was working, and mouthed, "What the hell?"

* * *

"Alice, Dad, what's going on?" Bella took off her suit jacket and draped it over the back of a chair in the Cullen kitchen, leaving her clad in the matching skirt and a simple silk blouse.

"Look at you, Bells. Alice here said you went to quit your job at Newton's, but you look more like you were applying for a job at, I don't know... a law firm or something."

"Thanks, Dad, but I was just quitting, I'm not looking for a new job right now."

Alice's lilting voice joined in the conversation. "She needed to dress well. You never know, she might want a reference. A last impression is almost as important as a first impression."

"Yeah well, Bells, I'm here for a reason."

"Other than to eat my cherry pie?"

Bella was confused. "You made a pie, Alice?" She looked at the table in front of her father and noticed that he had been having pie and coffee.

"I like to have some on hand in case we have an unforeseen guest. I can't let anyone come to the house and not try my pie. It'll be famous one day."

From Alice's simple statement Bella realized that she must have had a vision of her father coming over. She looked at her father. "Besides the all-important task of tasting Alice's baking, what's up?"

"I need to talk to the doc when he gets home. There's been some sort of outbreak and I'm worried about you. You're still vulnerable to sickness, aren't you? I remember the surgery you had weakened your immune system or something."

"Yeah, Dad, something like that."

The front door opened and closed. "We're in the kitchen, Carlisle," Alice called out for Charlie's benefit.

Carlisle walked in and extended his hand to Charlie. Charlie shook it warmly.

"What can I do for you, Charlie?" Carlisle smiled. "Alice called, she said you need to talk to me."

"Do you have a handle on what's going on?"

"There's been an outbreak of Meningitis at the high school."

Charlie turned to Bella. "Did you see any of your friends or anyone from school today when you were in town?"

"I spoke with Ernie and Jessica. There were a few others around but I didn't get close to them."

"Who's this Ernie kid?"

"Ernie Buckley, the school custodian. He was in Newton's shopping."

"You call him Ernie now, do you?"

"He said that I should."

"I suppose. You've just grown up so fast, Bells." Charlie turned to Carlisle. "Do you think she caught it?"

"There's no way to know at this stage. She is more susceptible, but it doesn't sound like she had much contact today."

"I was thinking, Carlisle, that maybe Bells should stay here for a bit longer. Your place seems far enough out of town to lower Bella's risk of catching anything. I hate to impose like this. I would ask her to go to her Mother's but what with you being her doctor-"

Alice squealed in delight. "You're staying longer, Bella!" She danced Bella around the kitchen.

"I'm not going to Florida, Dad."

"And with her wanting to stay in Forks..." Charlie gave Bella a mock glare.

Carlisle contained his enthusiasm and gave Charlie a professional smile and nodded toward Alice and Bella. "It's no imposition at all, Charlie. As you can see, we're delighted to have Bella with us."

Charlie's radio went off. Alice picked up his jacket and handed it to him. The dispatcher told him there was a disturbance at The Lodge. "I have to go. See you later, Bells?"

"Sure, Dad." Bella nodded.

"Thanks again, Carlisle."

"As I said, Charlie, we are glad to have Bella with us."

Charlie nodded to him. "Alice, walk me out?"

"Sure." Alice shrugged and skipped after Charlie.

Alone in the kitchen, Carlisle moved to Bella. She wound her arm around his thin waist and leaned into his side. He put his arm around her and held her snugly to him. They were quiet while Carlisle relayed the conversation he could hear between Alice and Charlie as he caressed her shoulder.

"She's changing, Alice."

Alice's response was serious and to the point. "Everyone does."

"I know."

"Even you."

"Yeah, I guess even an old dog like me can change." Charlie chuckled.

"It's a good thing, Charlie."

"It's inevitable, I guess. And you're right, Alice, it is good. Bella's doing good, isn't she?"

"She's doing really good, Charlie."

They were silent for a moment. Then Charlie gave Alice a pointed look. "Alice, keep an eye on them for me, will you?"

"Them?"

"Bella and Carlisle."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb, Alice. I'd have to be blind not to see how close they've become. I just don't want to see her get hurt again. I want... " Charlie rubbed his jaw. "Hell, I don't know what I want. Carlisle is a good man. I don't think Bells could do better. I know he won't hurt her. But she's my little girl. I don't want to think of them..."

"They haven't." Alice told Charlie earnestly.

"That's not what I... They haven't?"

"No."

"Well, that's something, but, I'm a cop, Alice. I've been around the block a couple of times. I've seen a fair share of life. I know they will." Charlie sighed. "But, they seem good together. He's good for Bella."

"She's good for him."

"I don't want to stand in the way. I don't know what I'm asking of you, Alice."

"I tell you what, Charlie, I'm still Bella's best friend. I'll do everything that anyone can to make sure she doesn't get hurt."

"That's really all I want. I can't see her go through that again."

"I know. Carlisle isn't like that. He would never hurt her. But, you already know that." Alice smiled, hopped up and kissed Charlie on the cheek.

"Yeah. Tell Bells I'll be by later in the week, will you?"

"I will." Alice was still smiling as Charlie got in his cruiser and took off.


	10. Misunderstanding

_The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment and anyone else who may legally claim ownership. No copyright infringement is intended._

 **Chapter 10: Misunderstanding**

A breeze blew Bella's hair. Despite it being mid-June, it sent a slight chill down her neck. She sighed. She shook her head and laughed at herself. She would choose the one bench on the path Emmett built for her recovery that did not have protection from the wind. She had come out here just as the late afternoon began to elongate the shadows of the forest. For a while, she cleared her mind by concentrating on the changing light around her. That couldn't last. Her fears and insecurities were too insistent.

Her thoughts focused inevitably on Carlisle. He was at the hospital, treating the ill and injured with skill and compassion. She could close her eyes and clearly, see him working with confidence. His skilled hands healing while his gentle nature and caring smile soothed.

She smiled as she thought of the contrast between his professional persona and his downtime persona. Both were equally honest to his true nature, even though they seemed so different. She remembered his teasing grin as they ice skated. His almost boyish sense of fun was as wicked as his doctor mode was serious.

Her brow furrowed as her mind's eye brought up image after image of Carlisle. Yes, she thought, he was heart-stoppingly gorgeous. She internally cringed at her brain's unintentional pun. His lithe body and his every movement were imbued with a refined sensuality. His slim hips and waist begged to be touched, his square shoulders seemed made for leaning upon and the crook of his neck was utterly enticing. How could any woman not want to nestle there? She suppressed a sigh as she thought of his large elegant hands, so graceful and sure. Her eyes squeezed tightly shut as she pictured his handsome face, his high cheekbones, his strong brow and silken blond hair. His physical appearance certainly had no equal. She knew without a doubt that it wasn't all due to vampiric changes. Becoming a vampire only polished what a human already looked like. Carlisle had to have been born with all of his alluring attributes. Attractive qualities that had nothing to do with vampiric charisma. It was hard not to want to touch him, wrap yourself around him and pray for a response in kind. His appearance made him almost irresistible, edible. She laughed aloud at the ridiculous idea of a vampire seeming edible to a human.

She knew that he was painfully beautiful, but regardless of all of that, his incomparable, incomprehensible beauty lay not in the physical. His eyes revealed his true self. His eyes revealed his honesty, his respect, understanding, and acceptance, of and for, everyone. His beautiful love, deep compassion, and fierce loyalty shone in the multifaceted golden depths of his eyes. Intellectually, she knew he was, his opinion on the matter notwithstanding, only human. He had human failings, flaws, but to her, these only enhanced his perfection.

She slouched down on the bench and leant her head on the back, closing her eyes as she did. This time, she did allow a small sigh to escape as she thought of this absurdly perfect being wanting her. It defied understanding. Carlisle Cullen wanted to spend time with her. He wanted to share thoughts and ideas with her, both his and her's. He wanted to go places and do things with her. Every time he touched her it is with both affection and ardor. He desires her. She marveled at this.

She was roused from her reverie when she felt cool lips brushing her throat. Then the caress of breath on her suprasternal notch as the owner of those lips pulled back. She opened her eyes and there he was, as if her musings of her love for him had somehow magically brought him to her. He bent over her with his hands on the back of the bench, one on each side of her. With anyone else this position would have made her feel trapped and nervous. With Carlisle, it was just the opposite. She longed to wrap her hand around his tie and pull him closer. There was no need. She looked up and saw her reflection in his eyes. Eyes that shone with pleasure. Pleasure at being in her company again. This was an expression he had always worn upon seeing her. However, this time, the greeting included a kiss. A brush of his lips on hers, a passing caress that held a promise of more to come. In the blink of an eye, he was beside her on the bench, their sides touching, his pose mimicking hers.

Bella felt a chill wind. She glanced over and Jasper was there. A few inches separated them as he settled in a similar position but with his hands linked behind his head.

She felt Carlisle take her hand and intertwine their fingers. She turned her head and gazed at their hands, resting on their joined thighs. Before she could worry that Jasper would soon know about the change in their relationship, Carlisle spoke.

"What can I do for you, Jasper?" His tone was patient and kind, as always.

"Nothin', Carlisle. I'm just basking before I go find Alice."

Carlisle chuckled.

Bella was confused. "Basking?" She asked the vampire on her left.

Jasper hummed an affirmation. He looked like he was sunbathing. His expression was one of pure satisfaction, not unlike a well-fed house cat napping in a favorite afternoon sun spot. His eyes remained closed as he spoke. "Bella, go back to thinkin' on Carlisle like you were. I'm absorbing the thrill of new love here and you focusing on me is killing the buzz."

That surprised her and she couldn't contain her exclamation. "What?"

"Never mind, Bella." Jasper amended. "Carlisle here is putting out enough for the both of you."

She looked at Carlisle and found him gazing at her with devotion shining in his eyes. "He knows that we-" She asked, her voice breaking as her brain refused to find the words to complete her question.

"I can only assume." Carlisle's empty hand came up and brushed a stray lock of hair from her face. "That both he and Alice know."

As the puzzle pieces managed to click into place, she choked out, "Of course they would. There's not much need to tell either of them anything."

Carlisle brought their joined hands to his lips and kissed her fingertips. She blushed.

She felt the air change as Jasper stood. His voice was an annoying sound in the periphery of her attention. "Don't worry. Me and Alice, we won't mention it to anyone until you're ready." With that pronouncement he disappeared into the trees almost faster than her human eyes could perceive.

Silence fell between them; she could tell Carlisle was thinking. After a few minutes, she couldn't resist the temptation to reach across with her free hand and smooth the worry line that had appeared on his forehead. At her touch, he turned and gave her a small smile. "Bad day?"

He responded with a wry chuckle. "You could say that."

"Tell me."

This time, his smile reached his eyes. He released her hand and drew her to him. She leant on his chest as he encircled her with both of his arms.

* * *

He came to a stop and stood, unmoving and silent as he watched the pair on the bench. He smirked. He was born for this. He was hidden within sight and hearing distance of a bloodsucker, who had no idea he was there. He could swoop in and take him out in an instant. He'd never know what hit him. He resisted the urge to howl in triumph.

If only it was a different bloodsucker, Edward for instance, he wouldn't hold back. Sure, sure, he wouldn't kill him, Bella wouldn't like that. But, he'd give it to him good. He smirked again and felt some drool hit his paw. He glanced down, in a puddle he happened to see his reflection. His smirk looked more like a vicious baring of his teeth. _Cool_.

He heard a rustle of movement and Bella's contented sigh. He looked back at her and saw that Dr. Fang had his arms around her. He suppressed the vicious growl that was bubbling up in his chest at the sight. He watched and listened. The leech was going on about some surgery he'd done that day. He snarled at the sight of his dead arms around Bella. He didn't want a vampire touching her. Sure, he often held her. God knows she kept that innocent, he'd realized a long time ago not to be jealous of Bella's openness. Bella was just a tactile girl. Hmm, that sounded like a song, _Tactile Girl_ , yeah, screw mechanic, he thought, _Jacob Black and His Pack_ , the newest boy band sensation. Now the howl he held back was one of amusement. He was as funny as he was fierce.

He focused his wandering mind back on Bella. She and Dr. Fang were still talking about his work. Blah, blah, blah. How could she stand the boredom of it? Didn't she long to pull away from him and run freely through the forest instead of listening to his dull stories? He did. He looked around. The light had changed as the leech droned on about his day. Of course, it was partly Bella's fault. She kept contributing to their conversation, asking questions, encouraging him to go on. If he wanted to be fair, which he definitely did not, the leech was asking her about her day too and pulling all the details from her. Their movement caught his eye, and he began paying closer attention to their conversation again.

"What would you like?" He stood before Bella, holding out his hand to help her up.

She took his hand. He couldn't believe she would do that without protesting. She hated being treated like she was all girly.

He saw her blush. "Anything you cook will be wonderful, Carlisle."

The dead thing put his hand on the small of her back to guide her along the path. He watched in horror as she allowed that chivalrous touch too. Behind her back the leech turned. He looked straight at him. Jacob knew Carlisle couldn't see him. He had no idea he was there. He was silent and downwind. Carlisle nodded to him in polite recognition before turning his attention back to Bella.

 _Damn_.

A shrill beeping sound interrupted Jacob's self-recriminations.

"The hospital?" Bella asked.

The leech's brow crinkled in worry as he looked at the small device now in his hand. "Yes. I have to go back in now." He spoke hurriedly. "Why don't you spend some time with your friend, Jacob. I'm sure he'd like to see you."

"I'll ask him, but he won't come in the house."

"He might, to spend time with you. If he hesitates, please remind him that he is always welcome." He smiled at her. Jacob couldn't tell what that smile meant.

"I'll remind him."

"I'm going to run through the woods to the hospital; it will be faster."

"Call me when you're ready, and I'll pick you up."

"Isabella-"

Bella cut him off. "I'll stay in the car. I can't catch anything in the car." Carlisle hesitated, he was obviously considering it. "Never mind, go. We'll talk when you get back."

The leech ducked his head and gave Bella the cheesiest smile Jacob had ever seen, before speeding off into the trees.

"Put some pants on and come out, Jake."

 _Damn_.

* * *

The kitchen, the most rarely used room in the Cullen house, was a bustle of activity. Esme was flitting between the stove, fridge, and cupboards. An obviously uncomfortable Jacob sat at the kitchen island, wearing a shirt Emmett loaned him. Bella sat next to him, listening impatiently to Alice's pleas.

"Please, Bella. You need some decent dresses. What if you were invited to a social evening, in say, Seattle. You wouldn't want to have to shop for a dress at the last minute and take whatever they have in stock."

"I'm not going to be invited to any social activities, Alice. I don't need-"

At Alice's pointed look Bella's words trailed off. Her eyes widened and she silently mouthed, "Oh. Oh!"

Alice looked smug. "So we'll go tomorrow?"

"Yes, Alice, we'll go tomorrow."

Esme set a platter in front of Jacob. She smiled. "Bella tells us that you need a lot of nourishment to maintain your health."

"Actually, Esme, I think I said the wolves eat enough for an army. Each." Bella laughed.

Jasper's drawl was pronounced belying his calm exterior. The wolves still made him nervous, even Jacob. "Which is why she called on my expert guidance. I can't cook, but I know how an army travels."

Esme beamed at Jasper. "Yes, he told me where to find this steak. It's a Texas cut."

Jacob looked at the plate before him that held a seventy-two ounce top sirloin. As he admired it Rosalie plopped a dog bowl full of the split peas by the side of his plate.

Bella laughed at the look on Jacob's face. "Don't worry about it, Jake. She doesn't like to feed humans."

Rosalie scoffed. "I wouldn't call him human."

Emmett placed Bella's food in front of her and leaned against the island. He regarded Jacob with serious, intense eyes.

Around a mouthful of steak, Jacob managed to utter a simple word. "What?"

"You play Biohazard Four?"

Jacob's eyes wavered between defensive and cocky. "I play."

Emmett's eyes glinted. "Excellent!" He grabbed Jacob's plate and bowl. "Bring your drink, let's play!"

Jacob looked at Bella who shrugged and laughed. Alice spoke as she rose to follow Emmett. "Place your bets, ladies!" Money exchanged hands as Esme and Rosalie followed Jacob out of the room.

Jasper sat with Bella. When she finished eating he whisked her dishes to the sink and took care of them. By the time she processed his movements, he was holding her coat for her. "Come with me?"

Bella slid her arms into the sleeves of her coat. "Where?"

"Just out of hearing range."

"Okay."

Jasper shook his head. "You really need to develop your self-preservation instincts. You just agreed to go to a secluded place with a killer who wants your blood, very badly."

"You won't hurt me, Jasper."

"I don't want to hurt you, Bella. That's very different from won't hurt you. What if you injure yourself? What if you bleed? No one will hear your screams, and no one will be able to save you."

"You've already told me you could handle something like that now. You wouldn't have said that if it weren't true. Besides, I'm more concerned about Rosalie hurting Jacob." She laughed.

"Jacob's safe with Esme there, and they are all engrossed in the game."

* * *

Jasper and Bella sat in the gazebo Emmett built at the end of Bella's path to recovery, as Emmett called it. They were out of supernatural hearing range of the house. The fire was blazing before them, illuminating the night. Bella laughed as Jasper reached into a canvas bag beside him and pulled out a barbecue fork and a bag of marshmallows.

As Bella watched the marshmallow begin to crisp, Jasper spoke. "So, Carlisle huh? Who'd've thought that?"

She nudged him with her shoulder and laughed. "Only you." Jasper joined in her laughter. "And probably Alice."

"Well now, I can say it was all me. At least until you made the decision to break it off with Edward."

"I thought as much." They were silent for a while just listening to the crackle of the fire. And whatever else Jasper heard that Bella couldn't.

"I know you could have made a life with Edward. But from what I felt coming off both of you, that was classic co-dependence. You would have been miserable."

"I didn't want to see it at the time, but I think I knew."

"You knew. You just had to admit it to yourself."

"And what do you get coming off me and Carlisle?"

Jasper chuckled. "I don't have to tell you. You know. You were thinking on it earlier."

"And I believe you were basking in it."

"Love has many stages, Bella. I expect you'll go through all of them with Carlisle. You'll see that with real love each stage is just as intense as this first stage, even if you've been together for centuries. But, with a newly realized love, there's an awe, a wonder, an elation that is unique to that phase. I've experienced it with my Alice. Experiencing it second hand, though, this is a first for me. Let's just say after I bask in what you and Carlisle are putting out for a bit, it brings out the romance in me and makes Alice one happy lady."

"Thanks, Jasper."

"I didn't do anything, Bella. Where you are today is all your doin'."

"You showed me the way."

"No, I didn't. I may have helped set you to thinking, but you found your own way."

Bella sighed and leant her head on his hard shoulder. She felt him stop breathing and made to move. He put his brotherly arm around her shoulders and stopped her.

"No, it's good." He smiled and took the long fork from her fingers. "But let's not tempt fate with sharp objects."

Bella laughed quietly as Jasper set the fork far away from her.

They lapsed into a companionable silence.

After a time Bella spoke quietly. "I have to talk to Carlisle about Edward."

"Sure enough. Have you made a decision there?"

"I can't come between them. I have to fix this. How do you think it will go?"

"Normally, I'd say you only have to worry about Edward's reactions. Carlisle, he's always the quiet voice of reason. But, he doesn't seem too fond of anyone endangering you, even unintentionally. It brings out something almost primal in him. All his calm, compassionate, thoughtful ways seemed to vanish when Edward hurt you. I've never seen him like that. That day at the skating rink, he'd've had John Bell Hood shakin' in his boots." At Bella's perplexed look he added, "He was a Confederate General whose bravery bordered on insanity."

"Hmm, I don't remember reading about him."

Jacob's voice rang from a short distance down the boardwalk. "Dr. Fang was impressive when you were in the hospital too. I guess he couldn't sit by and let Edward hurt you. It made him go crazy. I was kind of impressed. From what I've seen of him, and from what Old Quill says, he's always cool and collected in any situation. Not that time, though."

"Jacob Black, were you eavesdropping?"

"Nope, I only heard you talking about Dr. Fang losing his shit."

Jasper ignored Jacob and spoke to Bella. "Let's hope you're never again in a situation that brings that out of Carlisle."

"She's a danger magnet. She will be."

Bella frowned. "I thought you were playing with Emmett."

Jacob glared at the arm Jasper had around Bella's shoulder. "Aren't you married?"

"Happily, thank you."

"Why don't I tell your wife that you're all over Bella."

"No need." Alice skipped up and kissed Jasper's smirking lips. She turned to Jacob. "I thought puppies were affectionate, shouldn't you recognize affection when you see it?" Her next words were spoken as if she were explaining complex adult topics to a toddler. "It's like Jazz and Bella are litter mates."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Of for Fuc-"

Bella cut across him sharply. "Language, Jacob!"

Alice's laugh was like wind chimes, and it blended beautifully with Jasper's throaty chuckle. "See you later, Bella." Alice pulled Jasper to his feet and they disappeared into the night."

"So what are you doing out here, Jake?"

"I'm headed home."

"Oh, okay. Drive safely."

"I ran here, Bella."

"Oh, yeah. Stalk safely, then." She giggled.

Jacob's tone was somber. "What happened here tonight?"

"Well, you showed up snooping around. Then we hung out. Esme made a spectacular meal for you. You and Emmett played video games-"

"Yeah, Bella. I was here. I'm asking why they were, well all but Blondie, were so nice."

"Because they are nice, Jacob."

"But they're-"

"Jacob!" Bella's tone was a warning.

Jacob turned and spoke into the dark. "You, why are you a doctor of all things? Did you go to medical school for easy access to blood, so you wouldn't have to dirty your hands killing any more innocent people?"

Bella's face was livid.

Jacob's face relaxed in response to Carlisle's laugh. "No, Jacob. I have never once fed off human blood."

"You must have when you first became a leec-" he glanced nervously at Bella, "vampire."

"No, never. My reaction to this life was to try and end it. I would never intentionally harm a human. I thought taking my own life would be the only way I could be sure that I would never hurt anyone. However, it's not that easy for one of our kind to commit suicide. I tried many ways. I was literally starving, but that wouldn't kill me either. Before I knew what I was doing, I found myself drinking animal blood. It sustained me. It was then that I knew I could live and do no harm, even as the damned monster I am."

Bella's anger dissipated. Carlisle was close enough for her to hear the last of his words even though she was still unable to see him. Her voice was a thick as she spoke. "Carlisle, please, don't talk about yourself like that. Don't even think of yourself like that!"

"I apologize, Isabella. I was just telling Jacob how I felt at the time. You know that I no longer believe that."

She rounded on Jacob, her anger back in full force. "Do you have any idea how many 'innocent people' would have died before their time if weren't for Carlisle? He saves lives, not only because he has dedicated his life to the practice of medicine, but because he is a vampire. His senses help him diagnose and treat faster and better. Even when he's not in the hospital he's always helping, always healing. Say what you will about vampires in general." Her voice took on a deadly edge. "But never, ever, speak of Carlisle Cullen in that manner again."

Carlisle came into view. A smile on his lips as he made eye contact with Bella. "It's all right." He laughed. "Jacob should challenge all that he sees, all that he knows. How else will he be able to be a true and fair man?" He turned to Jacob. "Did you enjoy your visit with Bella?"

Jacob huffed. "Yeah. Yeah, I did."

Carlisle's genuine smile confused Jacob. "You are always welcome in our home, Jacob."

"Yeah. Great. Thanks." He shrugged out of Emmett's shirt and dropped it on the seat near Bella. "I gotta go." He abruptly dashed into the forest.

Carlisle sat beside Bella. "Did you enjoy your visit with Jacob?"

"It was very nice, but I think Emmett may have enjoyed it more."

"Emmett?"

"He got Jacob to play video games with him for almost the entire time." Bella bit her lip.

Carlisle looked deeply into her eyes, his thumb moving to gently pull her lip from between her teeth. The pad of this thumb began softly caressing, soothing the tender injured flesh. "What is it?"

"Jake had fun. I know he loved the food Esme made for him. He really loved playing the video game too, but-"

Carlisle's hand comfortingly cupped her cheek. "But?"

"But he's still clinging to his father's prejudices. Not entirely, I mean he's trying to make up his own mind. I think. He likes Emmett and Esme, but he holds back."

"He has been taught since his birth that we are evil monsters. We are to be feared, reviled. We are to be killed to save good decent people. He may be seeing that this family doesn't hurt people, but it's difficult to completely change such a deeply held belief too quickly. He is an intelligent person, give him some more time; he'll judge for himself. He has already begun to do so."

"It is not his place to judge you!"

Carlisle smiled at her passion and drew her to him. His voice was a sensual whisper. His breath caressed the shell of her ear as he spoke. "Isabella." He gently pressed his lips to her cheek. He placed unhurried kisses along her jaw, down her neck and back to her lips.

Their kiss was languid, full of exploration and appreciation. They took their time experiencing the texture, the feel of each other's lips. Soft molded to firm, heat mingled with cold, it all blended to create perfection.

When Carlisle felt Bella's tongue dart out to taste his lips, they parted willingly. Their kiss deepened and Carlisle was filled with a rush like none he'd felt in his long existence. He moaned into Bella's mouth. The sound set her aflame.

Carlisle's deft hand made sensual patterns on Bella's neck and down to her shoulders. Her hands came up to lazily caress his firm chest. Carlisle drew his lips around her face, feathering tiny kisses along the way to the delicate skin behind her ear. She shivered at the feel of Carlisle Cullen's lips ghosting over her sensitive skin. She trembled at the sound of his desire roughened voice vibrating through her as he spoke her name reverently.

He wrapped his strong arms around her waist and settled his face in the juncture of her neck and shoulder. He inhaled her scent. She brought her hand up and stroked his silken blond hair.

She loved this man, this vampire, this beautiful soul. Of that, she had no doubt. It was this love that drove her to break the moment. "Carlisle."

"Mmm?" His breath on her neck almost made her change her mind about speaking.

"We need to talk about Edward." Carlisle moved out of her embrace, making her regret her decision to speak almost immediately.

He held her gaze as he responded. "Of course, what is it that you wish to discuss?"

"Will you bring Edward back?"

"Is that what you want?" His voice was quiet and compassionate. She couldn't begin to guess that he'd been dreading this conversation for a long time. She didn't know that he had deeply hidden insecurities.

"Carlisle, I don't want you to be without him. You were so close. I don't want to be the ruin of that. I don't want you to lose your son."

Carlisle smiled gently. His voice was quiet and measured. It held no resentment, only a gentle caring tinged with resignation. "You don't want me to lose him, or you don't want to lose him?"

Bella could have sworn her heart stopped beating. She wondered if Carlisle was jealous? No, he couldn't be. That wasn't in his nature. Besides, how could he ever think he would compare to Edward and come out lacking? It had to be something else.

She peered at Carlisle from beneath her lashes. She could almost see him building walls between them. She couldn't understand why he would be doing that? As she watched him he seemed to withdraw more with each passing second. This felt wrong. She hadn't expected this reaction from Carlisle. She fervently wished she could know what he was thinking. He should talk to her. He always talked to her. Why wasn't he talking to her? She wanted to rue the day she ever met Edward, but she couldn't. It was Edward who had brought Carlisle into her life. Belatedly, she realized that her thought process had rendered her mute for too long. Carlisle was taking her silence as an affirmation. She tried to speak, but he spoke first.

"If it is Edward that you want, I shall bring him to you." Underneath his gentle demeanor, he was experiencing an unaccustomed turmoil. She had asked him to leave her. To leave her and bring Edward to her. He had told her he would never leave her unless she asked him to, that time had come.

He had to go before he tried to change her mind. He had seen what Edward had done to her. Edward had forced his will on her, and if she didn't comply, Edward used supernatural influence on her to get what he wanted. He was not that kind of man. He would respect her wishes. He would not try to talk her out it, no matter how much it hurt him. He wanted to talk to her, ask her if she was sure this was what she wanted. He didn't. He couldn't trust himself not to unwittingly influence her. He would do nothing to compromise her freedom of choice.

Against his better judgment, he tore himself away. His smile was gentle and filled with his love for her, but his eyes were the epitome of sad. "I don't have a lot of time, I need to go now." He reached out. He caressed her cheek tenderly. His voice was filled with longing as he whispered her name. "Isabella."

She closed her eyes and began to lean into his touch only to find it missing. There was a rush of icy air and Carlisle was gone. He had left before she could make sure that he understood. She frantically fumbled for her phone. She dropped it in her haste. Once she regained it, she pushed speed dial. Voicemail answered before the first ring. She tried again and again with the same result. She felt an unnatural wind at her back. She whipped around hope building in her chest. Her face fell when she saw that it was Alice and Jasper.

"Bella, where's Carlisle? His phone is turned off." Alice's voice held no fairy chimes. She sounded desperate. She didn't wait for Bella's answer. "Carlisle's future, it's gone! I see him going to the house in Rochester, but he doesn't come back. Edward is there. I think there's someone else there too. I can't tell. I think someone followed him to Edward. Carlisle is attacked. He's burned. Carlisle is torn to pieces and someone burns him. Carlisle is strong, fast and experienced. He can easily defend himself. But for some reason, he doesn't. Why? Why doesn't he defend himself? What prevents him? It's not clear. It keeps changing. I think Carlisle keeps changing something about his course of action. But every time I look, it ends up with Carlisle dead. Gone."

"He just left!" Bella's voice and expression were wild in her fear for Carlisle. "Can we catch him? We have to get to New York before he does! We have to stop this!"

Before Bella finished speaking Jasper was on the phone chartering a jet. Alice wrapped her arms around Bella and picked her up, they practically flew to the garage.

The three sped on a souped up Ducati going faster than the one-hundred-seventy miles per hour the bike was built to handle. Jasper drove almost recklessly in his fear for his coven leader, his brother, his friend. Luckily, The Washington State Patrol's finest were no match for Jasper. He lost them easily.

Alice maneuvered Bella into a ball and wrapped her body around Bella's as they careened into the private airfield and jumped off the bike at top speed, wasting no time braking. The bike skidded away from them; they were moving too fast to notice where it ended up.

Their pilot was paid well and he never noticed anything unusual about his passengers. Jasper was on the phone again as they ran up the steps. When Jasper ended his call, he looked at Alice and Bella with determination. Bella had never heard his drawl so thick. "Carlisle's already on a chartered plane. It took off ten minutes ago. I'm going to go talk speed with the pilot."

Bella and Alice held hands, silent in their fear. Bella was as pale as the white jacket she wore. She took no notice of the pain Alice's grip was causing her.

* * *

 ** _I want to thank everyone who took the time to leave a review. Hearing from you is the best!_**


	11. Comprehension

_The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment and anyone else who may legally claim ownership. No copyright infringement is intended._

 **Chapter 11: Comprehension**

Carlisle sat by the fountain in the chapel at Greater Rochester International Airport and glanced at his reflection in the pool. He thought that he looked like the monster he was; wild blond hair, deep black eyes, and an inhuman pallor. This was not the reflection of a doctor; this was the reflection of a destroyer. He turned away from the sight, disgusted.

For the first time in centuries, Carlisle didn't bother to affect human mannerisms. He didn't feel human. He sat stone still. If anyone ventured in they surely would think him a statue. They would see, in this small chapel, a statue of a man suffering the worst torments of Hell. A perfect warning to them.

He felt like he had taken advantage of Isabella. He, who devoted his entire existence to doing no harm, felt like he had perpetuated the most foul of harms upon the one most dear to him. She had been on the rebound from a relationship with his son. Edward had finally fallen in love, and when she didn't reciprocate that love, he swept in and took her from him. He thought himself a horrible father, brother, friend. He'd done irreparable harm to Edward, and Edward didn't even know it, yet… Carlisle thought about how heartbroken, how isolated Edward would feel when he found out.

Carlisle considered the fact that he had never changed anyone who wasn't dying. He knew the Volturi planned to kill Isabella if she wasn't changed. It was essentially the same thing, death or vampirism. If he didn't do it, Alice would find the strength and do it herself. He sent a prayer to God for forgiveness because he wanted to do it. He wanted his venom in her veins. He wanted to marry her and be with her for all eternity. He had thought that she might want him too. He wasn't given to over-emotionalism. He never found it to be helpful. Instead, he tried to do the best he could in any situation. This time, this time he just couldn't. He made a rare decision to give in to his despair as her soft voice repeated in his head over and over, on a constant loop.

" _Will you bring Edward back?"_

He moved now, his hands going to his hair and tugging with inhuman strength. A vampire's hair was not easily pulled out, but the pain came to him. It reminded him that he deserved a much harsher punishment. He had betrayed Edward. Worse, he had used his beautiful, sweet Isabella. No! He thought. She was not his Isabella. She had never been meant for him. He should never have touched her. But, he couldn't find the will to not give in to his overwhelming need to commune with her on any and every level.

" _Will you bring Edward back?"_

He hadn't protested her request. He hadn't hesitated. How could he dare hesitate? He had to leave, to do her bidding, before he gave in to his desire to discuss it with her. He couldn't trust himself to do that. He wanted too badly to ask her to reconsider. He fleetingly wondered if that would have been so very bad. He would not have forced her to reconsider; he would just have made his argument. He would have bared his soul to her. No, he knew he did the right thing in leaving as he did. If he'd spoken with her about all of this, and she had changed her mind, he would always wonder if he had somehow, unintentionally coerced her.

" _Will you bring Edward back?"_

He could admit it now, that this was something he had feared since the day she had kissed him. He had been taken by surprise. He had thought his affections for her were unrequited.

He knew she was just healing from a traumatic injury. He had worried that his deeply buried fear had been realized. That she didn't really care for him. That her feelings were merely transference, and someday she would realize that she'd made a mistake when she kissed him.

It didn't have to be that way. He wanted to tell her all the reasons they could have been so perfect together, forever. But he knew that he could not. He had to leave it up to her. He was not Edward. He would not try to dazzle her or make her choices for her.

" _Will you bring Edward back?"_

He would do anything for her. He would give her anything she desired. His devotion to her was beyond words. If she wanted Edward he would not stand in the way. All he wanted, all he needed, was to make her happy. If she wanted him gone from her life entirely, he would do that too. Were he human, he was certain that the grief of that thought alone would kill him.

She had asked him once, about his previous lovers, and he had brushed her off by telling her of his first crush. He was closing in on four hundred years old. Of course, he'd had lovers over the centuries, both vampire and human. In all this time he had never known anything like what he felt for this beautiful soul, this young, innocent human girl, his Isabella. He had never before experienced such depth of emotion. The way he felt for her almost frightened him.

He bowed his head, his hands still creating what pain they could in his hair. He wanted to pray for death but he didn't. He knew the answer would be no; it always had been. Not that he'd prayed for death recently. In the beginning, when he thought he might kill an innocent person in order to slake his thirst, he earnestly prayed for death.

Now, he couldn't pray or even wish for death. His death would hurt her. He would do nothing to cause her distress. He felt a bitter laugh escape his lips. He had already done so; he'd hurt her enough by forcing his attentions on her before she could be sure it wasn't Edward she wanted.

Now, he did pray. He beseeched God, for what he could not articulate, even in his own mind. He just begged Him. He knew not the details of what he asked. He was overwhelmed. The agony of knowing that he had- _warmth_. He felt warmth on his face? He stopped pulling his hair. He waited. The warmth remained and he became aware of a sound. The most beautiful sound in the world. Instead of asking for Edward, he believed he could hear Isabella telling _him_ that she loved him, asking him to look at her. A dream? He wondered. Hardly. Heaven? Impossible. A Coma? No. A hallucination? Most likely.

He knew he should open his eyes and determine the truth. But he didn't want to lose the bliss of this hallucination to the harsh reality he would surely see.

He was, again, that terrified young man burning amongst the rotting potatoes, not knowing what would happen when he opened his eyes again. Now, as then, his self-loathing knew no bounds.

Never one to hide from reality, he dropped his hands and opened his eyes. He saw Isabella, scant inches from his face. The warmth on his face had come from her hands on his cheeks. Her thumbs began to gently caress his face.

Their eyes met briefly before he lowered his in shame. His hands that had performed so many complex surgeries shook as he moved to gently grasp her wrists and pull her hands from his face. Once lowered, he released them. "Isabella." his lips twitched in a failed attempt at a smile.

He heard her beautiful voice beseech him. "Carlisle, please, what's wrong? Talk to me!"

He pulled himself together. He didn't think of the years of loneliness behind him or the endless eternity of loneliness ahead. He had to do this for her. He smiled. He wanted nothing more than to bring happiness to this incredible woman before him. "Isabella, if it's Edward that you want, Edward that you need, I will do everything in my power to help bring that about for you."

"No." She shook her head as he spoke. "No, Carlisle." Once again he felt her touch, soft and warm on his face. She looked into his eyes. "Is that really what you think, that I want Edward?"

He was surprised when her human ears picked up his whispered words. "You asked me to bring him back to you."

Her expression was somber, her eyes sincere. "No, Carlisle, I didn't. I asked if you were going to bring him back. I asked because I don't want to cause a rift in your family. Rosalie hated me enough; she hates me even more now that she blames me for Edward being gone. I know Alice misses him. Esme tries to hide it, but she wants him home desperately. Those are some of the reasons I asked."

Bella looked deeply into his eyes and took a breath. Her next words were spoken from the depths of her heart. "The most important reason I asked if you would bring Edward back is for you. What you and Edward have shared for all these years, I can't imagine. He's your friend, your brother, your first born vampire, your son. You have always loved him, unconditionally. I can't see you lose that over an accident. You know Edward has a temper. You also know that he didn't mean to hurt me. I can't be the cause of you losing him from your life. I don't want Edward. I don't need Edward. I never will. But, I think you do."

Her words hung in the air between them. He reached up and smoothed away the tears falling from her soulful eyes. "In that you are wrong. My love for Edward is conditional now. My love for anyone now has one non-negotiable condition. They must never hurt you in any way."

Bella smiled. "That doesn't change the fact that he's been your family for eighty-eight years. I won't be the cause of you losing someone you love. I can't be; I love you too much."

He wondered now why he had lost himself like that, why he fled the way he did. He had momentarily become his twenty-three-year-old self at the time of his change, full of doubt and fear. That was not like him. He always took time and considered everything with care. This time, he hadn't. He'd been such a fool.

Suddenly they were clinging to each other as if their lives depended on it. He stroked Bella's hair and spoke so softly that she couldn't hear him. "My God, Isabella, could you be more perfect?"

In his periphery, he could sense that Alice and Jasper had entered the chapel and were watching them. Although it didn't affect them, he could sense that Jasper had absorbed their feelings of love and relief and that he had sent them to Alice. He could sense their smiles.

What he didn't sense were the hidden eyes that had followed his every move since he landed in Rochester, the eyes that continued to watch him, even as Alice and Jasper approached.

The group moved from the chapel to a secluded corner of the Public Airfield Viewing Area. There they were engaged in a somber conversation.

Carlisle sat and listened quietly as Jasper spoke. "How do you want to do this?"

Carlisle's tone, as he carefully enunciated each word, was one that clearly said he would listen to no arguments. "Edward must never be in a position to harm Isabella again, in any way." Carlisle's thumb caressed Bella's hand where she clung to his, refusing to let go of him.

"Obviously, but-" Alice began, when Carlisle held up his free hand.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I do trust your visions, you know that. You also know that they are subjective. One spontaneous decision by anyone could change things. There must be safeguards in place."

Alice huffed as Bella's expression became troubled.

Jasper spoke softly to Bella. "Carlisle's not wrong. Generalizations are unfair. But, in this case, one applies to Edward. Vampires don't change easily, neither does he—" Bella opened her mouth to speak, but Jasper continued before she could— "I can see that you're thinkin' about Carlisle. He does change and grow, more than most humans. Carlisle, he's the exception. Edward he's the poster boy for the stereotype. Most of us, we're in between somewhere." Jasper smiled. "And we aren't, any of us, taking away your choices or dictating to you. After all, Carlisle came here expressly to get Edward for you, even though it seemed to him to be the realization of his worst fears."

Carlisle's surprised eyes shot to Jasper's face. Jasper nodded at him to let him know that his attempts to hide those feelings had failed.

Jasper continued speaking to Bella softly. "If Carlisle planned to force his fear for your safety to dictate your life, he wouldn't have come here to get Edward."

Bella was shocked and appalled. "I never thought for one second that Carlisle would try to force his opinions on me. Carlisle isn't like that. How could you suggest that he would consider dictating anything to anyone? Don't you know him at all?" Bella was leaning forward in her vehement defense of Carlisle. "He talks with people, he doesn't dictate. He listens to people. Really listens. Everything he does is out of his desire to help people. He would never use any kind of force. He wouldn't coerce or compel anyone to anything, not even for their own good. He…" At Alice's laughter, Bella turned on her.

"What?"

"First Rosalie, now Jazz. I'm just wondering how long it's going to take you to get to all of us."

Bella's eyes widened. "Oh." She blushed profusely and sat as far back in her chair as she could. She hid behind her hair and spoke to her lap. "I'm sorry."

Bella was distracted from her embarrassment by Carlisle taking raising her hand to his lips. He looked into her eyes. "Thank you, sweetheart." He never broke eye contact as he kissed her hand.

The love and admiration shining in his eyes was unmistakeable. She smiled shyly at him.

"Now, can we get to the details?" Jasper asked, clearly attempting to hide his amusement.

Some of the tension had eased as they continued their discussion.

"I'll have to go back to Charlie's-"

Three voices cut her off in unison. "No!"

Bella couldn't make out anything else they said, as they were all speaking over each other.

"There is an epidemic; your health would be endangered there-"

"Victoria is still out there. Your safety can't be ensured there-"

"I know what you'll go back to wearing if you go there-"

Alice and Jasper fell silent to allow Carlisle to speak. "Isabella, it isn't safe for you with the epidemic."

Alice chimed in. "It's okay, Carlisle, Bella has her own personal physician."

Carlisle shot Alice a patient smile. "As I was about to say, I'm not comfortable with Edward moving back in just yet, and not just out of concern for Isabella's health. There are many other reasons that make me believe it would be best for him to remain living on his own for a while. Perhaps Edward could visit while remaining in residence in Rochester."

Jasper's tone was thoughtful. "What about his restrictions?"

Carlisle sighed. "He will have to be allowed out of the house for more than just hunting. However, he must give me advance notice before he comes to Forks."

"Carlisle?"

He turned his full attention to Bella.

"Could you be with me when Edward is in Forks?" She paused to gather her thoughts. "I mean, I know you have important obligations, but maybe Edward could visit on days when you are off and not on call?"

Alice discretely nodded at Bella in approval as Carlisle's face broke into a smile that was half relieved and half elated. His eyes sought hers. "Isabella, thank you."

"Visitation limits?" Jasper's businesslike tone interrupted.

His attention still on Bella, Carlisle spoke to her instead of answering Jasper. "Tell me everything that would make you comfortable if Edward visits us, please?"

Her blush intensified. Her voice was tentative. "I'm guessing we'll be hiding our relationship from him."

Alice answered before Carlisle could. "For now, it would be best. You won't have to hide from him for long."

Bella nodded seriously. "Maybe he could visit once or twice a week, when you can be with me, Carlisle?"

"That's perfectly reasonable. I think once a week will be more than enough to start with." Carlisle assured her. "But, if you don't want him at all, that's truly fine. I don't want you to be uncomfortable in any way."

"No, Carlisle, it won't bother me if he visits. I won't be uncomfortable; I just want you to be comfortable. I want you to feel at ease with all of this. You two need to start mending."

"Don't be too selfless, Isabella."

"I'm not being selfless. I'm fine. You and Edward need to heal."

Jasper got Carlisle's attention and asked, "Just to be clear, Edward is still part of our coven and covered by the treaty?"

"Yes," Carlisle answered tightly, obviously remembering the accident that caused him to want to expel Edward from his family. "Provisionally."

Alice looked at Carlisle. "And your crest?"

"No."

Jasper and Alice exchanged a look. "Carlisle," Jasper began slowly, "I'm wearin' your crest and you didn't even change me."

"You deserve to wear my crest, Jasper. I'm proud to call you family, both of you."

"He'll be terribly hurt," Alice said.

Carlisle's voice was quiet and uncharacteristically hard. "He should have thought of that before he hurt Bella. Edward Masen will never again bear my name."

Alice sighed. "Mending, Carlisle, Bella wants you and Edward to mend."

Carlisle looked at Bella, his tone softened. "Then, we will mend."

Jasper's expression was thoughtful. "Okay, Carlisle, he won't wear your crest. Is there anything else we need to think about before we talk to him?"

"Yes. I'll have my lawyer deed the Rochester house to Edward Masen. If you could have your man provide him with documents in the name of Edward Anthony Masen, I'd appreciate it. For now, he is still suspended from the company and has no voice in family meetings. In time that may change. But for now, he doesn't deserve an active position."

Alice's brow furrowed. "Is he family or a coven member?"

Carlisle regarded Alice seriously. "I would never stand in the way of him being anything to any of you that you want him to be."

"Well," Alice declared, "I want him to be my brother." She put great emphasis on her next words. "I also want him to be your brother again, Carlisle, one with whom you are mending a rift."

"Alice…"

"Nope. I've decided. That's what I want him to be to me. You said it was up to us, Carlisle."

Carlisle shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips at Alice's unrepentant ways.

"Come on, Jazz, we have a brother to talk to." She skipped away dragging Jasper with her.

Bella's gaze followed Alice. "She's going to steal a car, isn't she?"

"Probably." Carlisle stood and held his hand for Bella. "Shall we?"

* * *

Carlisle was unusually silent and contemplative. He held Bella's hand and gazed with unseeing eyes out the plane's window.

After a while, Bella broke into his reverie. "What are you thinking about?"

He turned to her. "Edward."

"Your first born vampire."

"You could say that."

"He's more like your twin than your brother isn't he?"

Carlisle looked at Bella questioningly.

She smiled fondly. "I've seen you communicate. Sure, Edward can read everyone's thoughts, well, except mine. But sometimes you understand what he's saying to you without words too."

"I can't read his mind."

"You don't have to; you're that close. He's close with the rest of the family too. Esme dotes on him and I can see how much she mothers him." Bella smiled. "Although, she mothers you too."

"She mothers all of us."

"She does. But, I think she has a special maternal spot for you and Edward. Everyone is close to Edward. They all love him and miss him. But, for you it's different. Do you see why I couldn't stand to let you lose him over an accident?"

Carlisle's fears showed clearly on his face. "He could have killed you."

"I could die if this plane crashes."

Carlisle's voice was humorless. "Perhaps, I should change you now."

Bella's laugh made Carlisle smile. "I'd rather not explain that to the pilot, thank you very much."

Carlisle's voice became quiet and grave when he spoke again. "Isabella, I'm serious. Not about here, now, on this plane. But, each moment of each day that passes you could be fatally injured. What if I'm not there to change you?"

"Well then, Dr. Cullen, I'll just have to stay with you every moment, of every day, until it's time for you to change me."

Carlisle's eyes were full of a hushed sincerity as they met Bella's. "That would be heaven on earth." He saw Bella blush under the intensity of his gaze. "But, now that you've decided to bring Edward back, that might not be the wisest thing."

Bella's voice was soft and sad. "We need to hide from him, so we'll have to hide from everyone."

"Everyone except Alice and Jasper. I'm sure your father suspects; however, it would be best not to confirm his suspicions until we no longer need to hide from Edward."

Bella's brow furrowed. "Alice can't protect her thoughts from Edward during her visions."

"Well then, Miss Swan." Carlisle imitated her earlier tone. "We'll just have to find a way to tell him before she has her next vision in his presence." Carlisle smiled mischievously and pulled her gently into his lap. "Although, a bit of sneaking around may be… exciting."

"Why, Dr. Cullen..." Bella flipped around so that she was sitting astride Carlisle's lap facing him. She wound her arms around his neck and leaned into him to whisper in his ear. "Are you, the highly respected town doctor, planning to have an illicit romance with an innocent high school girl; the Chief of Police daughter no less?"

His hands went to her waist and moved up and down her sides. He turned his head, his breath washed over her ear and made her shiver as his voice deepened with desire. "Why yes, Miss Swan, that is exactly what I'm going to do."

In that moment Carlisle's fears were forever banished. He knew that Bella's feelings for him were not transference. He realized that she too had considered that possibility and explored it. He now knew that she had come to the conclusion that he had hoped for; their love is real. Theirs is a love based on a real and solid foundation. A foundation of friendship shared interests and desires. He looked into her eyes and smiled.

He moved her tempting body from his lap and settled her back beside him. He leant down and brushed her lips with his. The kiss was so gentle that she was not sure they had actually touched. When he kissed her again, he moved closer to her, and this kiss held a bit more firmness. She responded by wrapping one of her arms around his neck, and running the fingers of her other hand through his hair. Her courage was rewarded as his touch became more sure, he held her jaw in his hands, and his cold thumbs caressed her neck. She opened her mouth slightly. She inhaled sharply as his tongue entered her mouth and touched hers. She was thrilled at the small moan this brought from deep within Carlisle. She melted into his arms. She could not believe that Carlisle Cullen was here with her, and that he was holding her and kissing her. This time she moaned; the sensations that were coursing through her body were beyond coherency. She lost her thoughts entirely as his tongue began to passionately stroke hers, tasting her, drinking of her. She was becoming lost in a swirl of sensations, she was being blinded by a myriad of colors, and she was falling without end. She would have probably fallen off the chartered plane's luxurious sofa if he not been holding her to him. In this haze of intense feelings, her body began to respond to him in ways she had never imagined.

He slowly ended the kiss and pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. She felt an intense anticipation that bordered on painful. She waited and watched as his eyes seemed to see something he had been looking for in hers; then Dr. Carlisle Cullen gently pulled her back into his lap, this time, he positioned her to rest astride him. Her breasts pressed against his chest before their mouths reconnected in a searing kiss.

He was keenly aware of how soft she felt in his arms, and how extremely warm she was where their bodies touched. He couldn't get enough of her. She was sweet and she tasted of innocence. He pulled his lips from her and ghosted them over the wildly pulsing artery in her neck. The cadence of her blood was music to him. A rhythm that called to him and engendered his passion rather than his blood lust. They had kissed before, but this time… He forced himself to slow down, to become more gentle. He did not want to frighten her with the sudden overwhelming need that had flared within him at her kisses, her touch.

She wasn't having any of that. She tangled both her hands in his hair and renewed the fierceness of their kiss. To her delight he responded in kind. She pushed herself more firmly onto his denim clad lap; she heard his gutteral moan through her own gasp as she felt his hard body press into her softness. The intimate contact caused feelings to furl within her in a way she had never experienced. She ran her hands down his neck and felt him shudder under her touch. The knowledge that this wise and powerful vampire would shudder for her emboldened her. She began to explore his shoulders, arms, and back. When he moved his mouth from hers she whimpered in protest until she felt his lips on her throat, she tilted her head backwards to expose more of that delicate flesh to him. He dragged his lips slowly over her, igniting a trail of heat as he kissed, nipped and licked his way up behind her ear, making her shiver in pleasure. All of her senses were completely overwhelmed by him, yet she couldn't get enough of him. She needed more.

"Isabella," he said, his voice a deep whisper. "This is unlike anything I have ever known. I want you, Isabella," he said, his voice becoming breathy in her ear. She couldn't suppress more shivers of delight at the feel of his voice and breath. "I need you." He was trailing kisses down her neck now, to the opening of her top. He spoke into her skin, "I love you." His voice vibrated on her. The soft touch of his lips as he spoke sent delicious chills coursing through her body.

She inhaled sharply as his lips continued their divine torture. "Carlisle-" Her voice sounded drugged in her desire. "I love you."

She moved her hand to undo the top button of his shirt. It was that moment the intercom flared to life with the pilot's voice, making them both startle.

They were about to land in Seattle.

* * *

Bella and Carlisle walked hand in hand to the Sea-Tac Airport's car park. "I have something for you." Carlisle smiled. "It came yesterday. I was planning to give it to you last night, but we got distracted."

Bella wrapped her free arm around Carlisle's and leant into him as they walked. "You are all I could ever want or need."

They had reached his Mercedes. He opened the trunk and reached into a small jeweler's bag. A teasing smile played across his face. "Close your eyes, Isabella."

She smiled back and complied. She felt him press something into her hands then she heard him close the trunk and laugh. "You can open your eyes now."

He watched as she opened her eyes and her hand. In her palm was a heavy piece of silver. It was two swans facing each other, their foreheads touching, their necks forming a heart.

"A key chain? It's beautiful, Carlisle."

"There's more."

From his pocket, he removed his spare car key. In a flash, he fastened it to the sterling key chain in Bella's hand.

She looked at the Mercedes logo on the key in her hand. "A key to your car?" she asked, looking up to find Carlisle watching her.

He put his arms around her waist and drew her to him. "A key to _our_ car."

"Our car?"

He laughed playfully. "You seem to like driving it."

She blushed.

"Yes, Isabella, our car." He caught her eye. "Is that all right?"

Her answer was a kiss. He returned her affection with enthusiasm, backing her against the Mercedes in question.

She couldn't refuse the lure of his flaxen hair; her hands moved into it of their own accord, opening herself up to him more. He pressed his body into hers. She gasped in pleasure at the contact. His hands cupped her cheeks as he maneuvered her head to kiss her more deeply. She was grateful for the car and his hard body, as her knees decided to give out on her.

At the sound of someone tutting a few cars down, they broke apart, smiling into each other's eyes. Bella slipped her new keychain into her pocket.

Carlisle slid his hand down her shoulder and arm to clasp hers. He drew her to the front passenger door and opened it for her. She slid into the seat, her knees still quivering. As he moved at human speed to the driver's side he smiled with satisfaction. She was attaching her house keys and her truck's key to the key chain, right beside the Mercedes' key. She had accepted his car key. It was one small step closer.

They never let go of each other's hand on the drive from Seattle. A drive that was full of soft music and longing glances.

They rounded a curve just past Tumbling Rapids Recreation Area when Carlisle's serious tone broke the mood. "There's something wrong." He was looking at a car on the side of the road out near some trees. It was not parked neatly. Carlisle pulled in behind and went to the driver's door of the off-kilter car. It was times like these when he hated to maintain human speed, but he knew they were too exposed here. He couldn't take the chance. He opened the driver's door and called to Bella.

"Get my bag."

She reached behind the seat and grabbed it. She jumped out of the car and ran to Carlisle.

She watched as Carlisle assessed the driver. Obviously deciding that it would be safe, he pulled the driver out and placed him on the ground. It was her father's friend, Harry Clearwater. She watched as Carlisle immediately began CPR.

"Check his airway."

Bella froze.

Carlisle's voice was encouraging and commanding. "Isabella, you can do this."

His faith in her snapped her out of it. She checked Harry's airway and proceeded to give him two breaths each time Carlisle said, "Now." They continued for what seemed like forever when Carlisle's voice got an edge to it. "Stop. Call EMS."

Bella pulled out her phone and promptly threw it. "Dead battery!" Carlisle was bent over Harry performing chest compressions. Without interrupting him she reached into the back pocket of his jeans and got his phone. She made the call and gave the dispatcher their location.

"I need your help." Carlisle's voice was urgent.

"No, _you_ stay on the line!" Bella shouted in response to the dispatcher on the phone. She set the phone, still connected, on the ground beside Carlisle.

It wasn't standard procedure, certainly not in this setting, but Carlisle had to use all measures available to him. He knew he could make this work. His supernatural hand directly around the heart was the best option. It was all he could think of that would give the man a fighting chance at life. "Take over compressions. He's not responding. I'm going to try direct compressions."

She knew what Carlisle meant. As he opened his bag and pulled out a scalpel she swallowed thickly. He poured iodine over Harry and his hands. When he began making an incision between the fifth and sixth ribs, she looked away. She heard him spread the ribs apart. Even though his body blocked his movements, she knew he'd done it with his hands. She fought her dizziness and swallowed bile as the scent of blood assailed her sensitive nostrils. She didn't falter in her compressions.

"When I say stop…" Carlisle was reaching into Harry's chest. "Stop!" Carlisle began compressions directly on his heart. "Tell them he's in ventricular fibrillation. I need them to put a manual internal defibrillator, Epi and Atropine on that truck."

Bella picked up the phone and relayed Carlisle's information. "It's Dr. Cullen giving aid to Harry Cle- the victim. He needs a manual internal defibrillator, Atropine and Epi on the ambulance." Bella listened for a few seconds. Her tone became agitated. "It's Epinephrine. I'm telling you to put it on the ambulance and get it here!" More silence. "I know that." As Bella listened, another few seconds of silence passed. "Dr. Carlisle Cullen. DEA number FC97606. Yes, I'm sure. I know his registration." Bella huffed in frustration. "He can't, his hands are in the victim's chest. For God's sake move!" After a few more seconds of silence, she finally turned to Carlisle. "They're on their way." She fought down bile and asked, "Asystole?"

"Not yet." He gave her an encouraging smile. She was a remarkably intelligent woman. He couldn't help but be pleased. She was always so interested in everything that happened during his day. There were those in his family that were trained physicians and yet still didn't care about his work. She did. She had even begun picking things up from all their talks. It was too bad the smell of blood made her turn that particular shade of grey-green. He knew she would never work in medicine. She was a support to him and she understood what he was talking about. She asked him questions, with genuine interest, about his day; but actually practicing medicine, he knew that was something she would never want to do.

When the ambulance arrived there was a flurry of commotion. Carlisle was working and giving orders in his professional, indubitable voice. Bella could see him use the paddles and administer one of the medications. Finally, when they were strapping Harry to a board, she approached. Carlisle turned to her and smiled. She reached out to him, their forearms clasped, and he wrapped his hands reassuringly around her arms. "He should make it." He glanced at them loading Harry into the ambulance.

"Go with him." She smiled tremulously. "I'll meet you there."

"Isabella-"

"Don't worry. I'll stay in the car. I'll see you in a bit."

Carlisle nodded and climbed into the back of the ambulance.

Just as Bella closed the back door of the car, after putting Carlisle's medical bag back in it, a cruiser pulled up. Her father got out. "Dad." Bella dreaded telling him it was his friend in the ambulance.

Charlie looked at the bloody handprints on Bella's arm. "You okay, Bells?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She saw what he was looking at. "It's not mine. Carlisle's gone in the ambulance. It's Harry Clearwater, Dad. He's had a heart attack."

"Harry?" Charlie looked at the car that was askew on the side of the road and recognized it.

"Yeah, Dad. Carlisle's taking care of him. He'll be okay."

Charlie's face showed his relief.

Bella gestured to the Mercedes. "I'm going to pick Carlisle up when he's done." She fished in her pocket for her keys. She was shaking from the aftermath of the drama. She dropped her keys on the ground between herself and Charlie. When she picked them up the sun peaked out from behind the cloud cover. The swans glinted in the light.

Charlie looked at what she held. "You have a key to the Doc's car." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, Dad."

Charlie nodded, his expression was inscrutable. "I'll be at the hospital as soon I clear here."

"I won't see you there; I'll stay in the car. Carlisle is still worried about me catching Meningitis."

"'Kay, Bells." Charlie's voice was distracted as he took in the scene.

Bella got in the Mercedes and started it. She pulled onto the road, blissfully unaware of the audience that had come out of the recreation area when Carlisle had skidded to a halt, as he pulled over to give aid. The Forks rumor mill had been fed.


End file.
